199 Resentment, grievance, and blame: these are not easy things to move past in our intimate relationships, especially, when it feels like your partner has piled on many little – or big – hurts, transgressions, and wrongdoings over the course of your relationship.

Resent and blame come very naturally to us as humans, so if you feel them, you are oh-so-normal. AND, they are keeping you locked out of your heart. THey are keeping you from the love you could otherwise be feeling, and the love you could otherwise be receiving.

So in this episode, I give you a formula to begin to let go of resentment you may be feeling towards your spouse.

I also dive into:

• what resentment is,
• how it is different from anger,
• why it may not be what you have always thought it was,
• why it is so important to move past it,
• what situation this resentment resolution formula works best in,
• several stories about my clients and myself that will help you understand how to use this formula to get free of the resentment that is dragging you and your relationship down,
• and how to go deeper to truly set your heart FREE to love and be loved again.

When we harbor resentment towards our spouse, whether it is just a small amount or a large amount, it eats us up from the inside out, like a poison. Luckily, YOU have the power to heal it. Dive into this episode now and begin.

SHOW NOTES

Join the Master Class: FREE YOUR HEART FOR MORE LOVE; GETTING PAST BLAME, RESENTMENT, AND GRIEVANCE. It's just $37. Learn more here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

198 To make your relationship better, it's absolutely essential to BELIEVE it is possible to do so. That's why I love sharing about the changes my clients see when they work with me: it helps you believe you can also make your relationship better, too!

But it's even more helpful and inspiring to hear directly from these women themselves. So here's Caroline! Get ready to feel so much hope and inspiration.

When Caroline came to me for 1:1 coaching, she was struggling with feeling small and insecure in her relationship, unsure it could work, afraid to fully be herself, and frustrated at her own behavior. She kept having doubts that this relationship could last. But she really wanted it to work.

And it has. The relationship is so strong now, and she feels really free to be her full self in it. She is so much happier, feels really secure, connected, and in love and loved. She feels how much power she has to continue to make things great, and has seen her partner grow a lot, too, as she has focused on her own inner work and how she shows up in the relationship.

What did it take for her to get here? Listen in as she shares many gold nuggets of wisdom, pieces from her coaching journey that made all the difference for her, and tips for other HSP women to make their marriages more secure, loving, and mutually supportive.

You will also hear:

• What things were like for her before working with me (many of which are oh-so-common for HS women)
• More about what has changed for her and her partner since working with me
• Specific details about the nervous system work and thought work that made so much difference for her.
• Why is it normal to fear that this work may not “work”
• How she started believing coaching with me would work–and why that made all the difference in the world
• What made it possible for her to be so good at implementing the coaching I gave her and applying the tools.
• Why “leading love” works, and how much power you have as a highly sensitive woman to change your relationship for the much better
• How her partner shifted himself as she did this work, and how much sway her inner work had in how wonderful the relationship is now
• What has been the difference for her between listening to the podcast, and direct coaching support and how therapy and coaching have been different for her
• Why the structure and process of coaching with me works and makes it easy to really DO what it takes to make your relationship great
• Why she wants to have a non-sensitive brain and why “equipping” it matters for love.
• And lots more!

You'll come away from this episode with deep insight into what so much of what I’ve shared on this podcast looks like applied in the real life and relationships of an HSP woman, more confidence that you really have so much power to improve things in your marriage, and a deeper sense of hope and motivation that you, too, can have a much brighter future as you do this work yourself.

SHOW NOTES:

• Learn more about Jungle Cacao Peru HERE, or follow on instagram @junglecacaoperu
• Hop on Hannah's Email list here
• Come coach with Hannah in her private 1:1 Marriage Coaching program, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.

197 One of the reasons so many marriages and relationships are not as good as they could be, or are really quite painful, is that we tend to approach our relationships in instinctual ways.

Since instinct often comes not from our inner wisdom (that intuition’s role), but from our inner protective patterning and our cultural conditioning, following our instinct in our relationship can often slowly –or quickly– erode the love and closeness in it.

The truth is that building and maintaining the best possible marriage with our partner entails a lot of things that are not instinctual—that are actually quite counterintuitive!

We want to embrace these counter-instinctual ways–and don't worry, over time they eventually do become natural or instinctual to do.

But to embrace them, you need to know what they are, of course!

So today I am going to share 18 counter-instinctual approaches or understandings that HEAL and CONNECT and lead to truly a fulfilling relationship with your partner.

You’ll also hear about how I followed my instinct in my first marriage until I ran into the ground, what the difference is between instinct, intuition, and skill, and how when I say counter-instinctual approaches I also mean cutting edge, and well, simply effective.

Seeing as the way we have been doing relationships for the last 70 years or more is obviously not yielding the loving, secure, mutually corroborating, deeply connected marriages we really want as women, tune in today and learn 18 of the counterintuitive things to understand and live out to make your marriage one you feel so RIGHT in, so at HOME in, and so much LOVE in.

SHOW NOTES:

• Take the FREE QUIZ: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage?
• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form. SEE WHAT PAST CLIENTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH HANNAH HERE.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

196 Hope comes in various flavors. Some of them promote better relationships, and some drag them down. Hope can leave us helpless to change things, OR make us powerful agents of change in our marriages (and other areas of our lives, of course).

Today you will hear about the 2 kinds of hope that don’t help, and the 1 kind of hope that makes ALL the difference in your marriage–and in being able to make your marriage the loving one you want.

This episode is especially for you if you've been trying and trying to make changes in your marriage for years, but you aren't seeing any real lasting change for the better. Believe me, I have been there!!

Dive in to hear about what happens when we succumb to apathy, cynicism, futility, and despair, and how the way you might be relating to hope may be the same as just giving up.

Learn, instead, how I use what I call Active Hope to continue to make my marriage better and better, and how you, too, can harness it, so that you come away with a relationship to hope that will drive the best kind of change between you and your partner.

Everyone could use a good dose of hope and inspiration from time to time. This is yours today.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

195 This may be one of the most important episodes you will hear to make your marriage the one you want it to be.

Especially if, like so many women, you wonder “Why should I be the one to do the work on our relationship?” Or you feel burdened or resentful that you seem to be alone in working on your marriage. Or if it just seems unfair that a lot of relationship advice is directed at women, when men have so much to learn when it comes to having a great relationship.

If you're feeling that way, I get it. I’ve been there. AND it is making it HARDER to have the loving, connected, mutually supportive marriage you want with your spouse.

In this episode, you’ll hear why. And why this line of thinking is leading to an almost epidemic of women being unhappy in their marriages.

What I want most is for you to feel deeply fulfilled in your relationship–and you want that too! So we’ve got to address this. Because trying to create deeper, better love from a sense of burden and resentment will never work.

You didn’t get married to just tolerate your relationship. You signed up for something way better than that. You want to truly enjoy your marriage. And like it or not, that means you WILL have to work for it, no matter how much your partner is also working on it.

But it can be fun, even joyful. In fact, in this episode, I share how I work on my marriage every single day---with joy, passion, and feeling like it’s a sacred honor that I GET to do–and how you can, too.

Listen to this episode to move past the burden and resentment that comes from feeling like you have to do this work with no or very little help from your spouse, and so you can feel truly empowered to do what it takes to make your marriage what you want it to be.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

194 Today we are shining light on an almost funny thing that goes on deep under the surface in us women, which can really cause rifts, pain, and unnecessary suffering in our marriages to men:

What I am calling Reverse Sexism in relationships.

What is that, you may wonder? Tune in to find out. You will hear many examples of it, both how it has shown up in me personally, and my clients, too. You’ll hear why it costs us so much, and why it happens at all, how to find it in yourself, and how to stop it from creating ever-widening rifts in your own relationship.

As usual, this reverse sexism issue is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to address it – if you want the best relationship you can have with your man.

So get ready to put on your compassionate curiosity glasses and take a good (but humorous) look at yourself. Dig in.

SHOW NOTES:

FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.

See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

You shape your emotional experiences SO deeply. Even if you can’t see it now, even if it feels like your partner is the main shaper of how you feel in your relationship, even if it seems like you are often emotionally at the effect of the world. YOU, in fact, are the #1 source of your own emotions.

This is the best news EVER. Because it means you have so much more power over how you feel in your relationship--and how the relationship goes-- than you've ever known. It’s time to learn to access this power--what I call Emotional Agency. (Think of this as a follow-up episode to the last episode, Emotional Delegation 101. Although they go together, you can listen to either one first.)

In this episode, you’ll delve deep into the details of where your emotions really come from (likely not where you’ve always assumed they come from). And you’ll hear many concrete examples to illustrate this essential teaching and make it clear as daylight, so you can:

• develop a whole new, way more empowered relationship with your emotions.
• start to soften, influence, and guide your emotions, regardless of outside circumstances
• Start to feel way less disappointment, resentment, frustration and upset, and WAY MORE ease, love, lightness, and closeness, so you can naturally make your marriage how you want it to be.

It all starts by being truly open to understanding the real source of your feelings. Everything will get better once you really understand and live this. So dig in to really get this life and love-transforming understanding.

SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.

See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

192 If there has been one major underlying concept that I have woven into nearly every episode of this podcast, it is the concept of emotional delegation (or its opposite, emotional agency). BUT I’ve never made a podcast episode solely dedicated to making sure you understand this concept. So today is the day!

I made this episode to clearly define emotional delegation for you, and help you see how it may be playing into your relationship challenges, and so you can start the journey of letting it go — because it is really the #1 underlying habit that pretty much EVERYONE falls into that hurts our relationships (and you're not going to hear about on many other relationship podcasts. I truly can’t understand why this gets left out so often, because it is pretty much everything when it comes to marriage problems!)

So listen in to learn:

• What emotional delegation is and how it completely disempowers you in your relationship.
• Where emotional delegation comes from (hint, both nature and nurture) and why pretty much everyone does it.
• Signs of what it looks like, so you can recognize if you may have this habit.
• Why understanding it is so important.
• Why emotional delegation is so detrimental, and the specific tolls that it takes on you and your relationship.
• My own personal stories of how it has affected me and my relationships.
• And what happens when you learn to stop emotional delegating, and step into its opposite: emotional agency.

As you recognize that you are emotionally delegating, you hand yourself, and your marriage, a huge win. When you stop doing it, and begin to step into emotional agency, instead, you empower yourself even more, and give your relationship the very best chance to become the truly loving one you have always wanted. So don't miss this essential episode.

SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.

See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.