Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness?

In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Is my marriage emotionally abusive?
• Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?
• Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?

This conversation offers clarity, validation, and biblical truth without shame.

You’ll learn how to recognize emotionally destructive patterns, understand why submission without choice becomes oppression, and begin trusting your instincts again.

Resources:

Leslie Vernick - https://leslievernick.com/

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship - https://amzn.to/3Kz7c6J

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage - https://amzn.to/4919P9E

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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When we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against.

Whether you’re a survivor learning to trust again, a ministry leader navigating influence, or someone passionate about justice and healing, this episode offers compassionate insight, spiritual grounding, and real-world practical guidance.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:
• The hidden ways survivors may replicate abusive patterns without realizing it
• Why community, humility, and honest feedback are essential for healing
• What Scripture actually calls us to when we feel defensive, afraid, or justified
• How to hold truth, justice, compassion, and discernment together
• The “Voldemort effect”: why the pursuit of power will cost us our souls
• How to create relationships where accountability doesn’t feel like attack
• Practical wisdom for breaking cycles, in ourselves and in our churches

This is a tender conversation, grounded in compassion for survivors and clarity for leaders who want to do better. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I responding from my wounds or my wisdom?”

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you.

In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust.

Together, they unpack:

• The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuilding
• Why honesty and safety must come before trust and vulnerability
• What betrayed partners actually need for healing (and what harms them)
• How grief, accountability, empathy, and self-work make true connection possible again

Matthew and Joanna share what most couples never hear: healing is possible, but only when both people do the work. Their story is honest, raw, redemptive, and filled with compassion for both the betrayer and the betrayed.

Resources Mentioned:

Free HONEST Connection worksheet: raabsmithteam.com/free

Matthew & Joanna's book - Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time - https://a.co/d/ihkKmFx

Connect with The Raabsmiths:

Instagram: @theraabsmithtea

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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What is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing?

In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, safe, compassionate biblical counseling is… and what it is NOT.

If you’ve ever wondered whether biblical counseling can be:
✔ trauma-informed
✔ safe for abuse survivors
✔ actually helpful and not minimizing
✔ aligned with Scripture and real mental health science
you’ll for sure want to listen.

We dive into:

• How biblical counseling goes wrong and harms survivors
• Why “take two verses and call me in the morning” isn’t biblical or helpful
• How to spot red flags in a biblical counselor
• What whole-person, clinically informed, faith-honoring care looks like
• Why trauma lives in the body and why good biblical counselors must understand that
• How Jesus models embodied, compassionate care—not legalistic lectures
• What it looks like when licensed therapists and biblical counselors work together for healing
• How survivors can reclaim faith after spiritual abus

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...

What if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards?
In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy.

If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you.

We dive deep into:
✨ Why survivors often shudder at the word “hope”
✨ The difference between wishful thinking and true, grounded hope
✨ How trauma, abuse, and betrayal shape your ability to hope
✨ Why hope requires touching pain—not ignoring it
✨ What the Bible actually means by hope
✨ How to rebuild your internal sense of safety, agency, and intuition
✨ Hope that doesn’t depend on outcomes, miracles, or circumstances
✨ How to walk with God when your world has fallen apart
✨ How clinicians can hold hope well for clients who cannot hold it yet

Dr. Bayless brings her expertise in trauma, spiritual integration, EMDR, and addiction recovery into a compassionate, soul-level conversation that survivors desperately need but rarely hear.

If you’ve been hurt by the church…
If you’ve prayed and fasted and still didn’t get the outcome you begged for…
If hope feels dangerous or even cruel…

You are not alone.

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...

What if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like.

We get into:

• Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)
• Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivors
• Porn/affair recovery through curiosity (shoutout Jay Stringer)
• Contemplative prayer and embodied healing for anxious, high-achievers
• How survivors of domestic abuse & coercive control can find faith-safe help
• “Participation in the life of the Trinity” vs. white-knuckle sanctification

If you’ve ever been told to “just stop sinning,” this one’s for you.

Resources:

Adam Westlake - https://www.adamwestlakecounseling.com/

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...

Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion).

Together they unpack:
💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise
💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior
💥 Practical tools for parents to stay calm, connected, and regulated when kids explode
💥 How to hold firm boundaries and lead with empathy
💥 What to do when you’ve “done everything right” and your child is still struggling
💥 Why curiosity, community, and faith matter more than control

Whether you’re navigating grief, abuse recovery, or the rollercoaster of adolescence, this conversation offers hope, humor, and hard-earned wisdom.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro & Greg’s story of loss and calling
04:00 – Why kids today are more anxious and traumatized
07:00 – Balancing compassion with healthy boundaries
12:00 – Parenting ghost pepper-level teens
18:00 – How to stay regulated when your child isn’t
24:00 – Grieving the “what should have been” as a parent
36:00 – Repairing when you’ve messed up
45:00 – When faith feels shaken in parenting
54:00 – Finding safe community & not parenting alone

Resources Mentioned:
Greg's Practice - https://w

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...

Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.

You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll unpack common myths (“mindfulness is just sitting still”), share trauma-informed ways to begin, and offer practical grounding tools you can use right now—no incense or perfection required.

Whether you’re healing from complex trauma, navigating anxiety, or simply craving calm, this episode will help you learn to notice without judgment and live with compassion.

Resources Mentioned:
TIP Skill - https://taking-every-thought-captive.teachable.com/p/bonus-skill

Sign up to learn more about the updated Mindful Connection online course - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/MyzTv00PzvenmNzassWC

🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...