In this deeply nuanced conversation, we’re joined by author and survivor Cheryl Rainfield to explore the realities of cult torture, dissociative identity, and the layered impact of organized abuse.

We unpack what it means to reclaim the word torture, how cult-created programming functions inside dissociative systems, and how healing unfolds when compassion replaces fear.

We explore:

• Why some survivors reclaim the term cult torture• How programming operates — and how it can be gently dismantled• The distinction between cult-created parts and other trauma-based or persecutory parts• Subtle indicators that may suggest a history of organized abuse• Why relational repair, attachment, and emotional responsiveness matter profoundly in treatment• What therapists often misunderstand about working with survivors of organized abuse• How systems can begin building trust with cult created parts

This conversation does not sensationalize. It names. It clarifies. And it holds hope.

Cheryl speaks candidly about what survivors need most: to be believed, to be heard, and to be met with steady compassion.

Whether you are a survivor, clinician, or someone seeking to better understand complex dissociation, we hope this episode offers clarity, validation, and thoughtful guidance.

Time Stamps

00:00 – Introduction + reclaiming the term “cult torture”08:40 – What programming is and how it functions21:15 – Cult-created parts vs. persecutory/trauma parts36:20 – Subtle signs of organized abuse histories52:10 – What therapists need to understand1:06:30 – Modifying modalities (EMDR, grounding, attachment needs)1:20:45 – Community, writing, and reclaiming voice1:32:00 – Hope for survivors + practical next steps

Content Note

This episode discusses organized abuse, dissociation, and suicidality. Please listen at your own pace and care for yourself as needed.

Connect with Cheryl

CherylRainfield.com

Cheryl’s Books

Cheryl’s Social Media

TikTok @Cherylrainfield

Instagram @Cherylrainfield

Facebook Cheryl Rainfield

YouTube Cheryl.Rainfield

Substack Cheryl Rainfield

Cheryl’s Articles

Some Signs and Symptoms of Cult Torture and How To Help:

Article on cult torture and programming:

Cheryl’s Links to Resources on Cult torture and DID

Cheryl’s Recommended Books on cult torture/RAMCOA:

Becoming Yourself by Alison Miller

Healing The Unimaginable by Alison Miller

Demystifying Mind Control & Ritual Abuse

Safe Passage to Healing by Chrystine Oksana.

Cheryl’s Recommended Websites:

Survivorship.org

ra-info.org

ritualabuse.us

endritualabuse.org

grassroots-ra-mc-collective.org

In this episode, our guest, Cyndi Bennett, speaks publicly about their system for the first time and shares parts of their personal journey before turning toward their work supporting trauma survivors in professional spaces. We talk about business boundaries, nervous system capacity, internal consent, and what it means to navigate careers and leadership as a plural system. This conversation is for systems thinking about work, sustainability, and how to make decisions that honor more than one internal voice.

⏱️ Timestamps

* 00:02:15 – Cyndi introduces themselves and their plural system

* 00:06:45 – Building a coaching practice as a system

* 00:14:20 – On boundaries, burnout, and protecting your bandwidth

* 00:21:00 – Why coaching isn’t therapy (and why that matters)

* 00:33:40 – Internal communication tips from Cyndi’s own parts

* 00:42:55 – Reflections on authenticity, professionalism, and trust

* 00:55:30 – Final thoughts: honoring all parts, including the messy ones

Connect with Cyndi: https://www.cyndibennettconsulting.com

In this heartfelt and affirming episode, we sit down with the Shadow System, a guest navigating the early stages of discovering they’re a system. Just over a year and a half into their journey, they share openly about the confusion, curiosity, relief, and emotional labor that come with realizing you have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or OSDD.

✨ What We Talk About

* Journals, handwriting, and the clues that didn’t make sense—until they did

* The “am I making this up?” spiral (and why it’s so common)

* What happens when your system knows before you do

* System communication through writing, art, sensation, and intuition

* Why some parts step forward—and others stay hidden

* The pain of not being believed by a therapist… and the power of finding one who does

* How to talk to loved ones (even when they’ve only seen the media version of DID)

* Taking up space, offering feedback in therapy, and building trust at your own pace

This episode is an honest, deeply relatable look at the messy, sacred beginning of system awareness. If you’re newly navigating DID or OSDD—or supporting someone who is—you won’t want to miss this one.

⏱️ Timestamps

* 00:50 – Meet the Shadow System + Early Clues of Multiplicity

* 03:00 – Journaling, handwriting shifts, and confusing memories

* 08:30 – Realizing: “Wait… this is real”

* 12:00 – System denial, self-trust, and questioning your own mind

* 17:00 – Journals, art, and making space for parts to speak

* 22:30 – Therapy: What helped, what didn’t, and finding a safe fit

* 28:00 – “Do you think I’m just bored?”: Humor + honesty in healing

* 36:00 – Telling her husband she’s a system—and his loving response

* 44:30 – When parts front at home + parenting through system dynamics

* 50:00 – The inner world, the conference table, and communication struggles

* 55:00 – Advice for newly aware systems: “Slow down, trust your parts”

01:00:00 – New hope: What feels possible now

📲 Follow & Connect

* Follow the Shadow System on Instagram: @exploringmyshadows

* Subscribe for weekly blogs, downloadables, and community support: healingmyparts.substack.com

* Explore our website for free resources, support groups, consultations, and more: www.healingmyparts.org

* Shop our merch for cozy, conversation-starting gear made by and for systems: healingmyparts.org/merch

* Follow us on Instagram @healingmyparts for bite sized nuggets to support your healing.

🛠️ Want support for your system or your clinical work?We offer consultations, workshops, and speaking engagements for both systems and professionals. Find what fits your needs at Healing My Parts Services

🛑 Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and support purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. Please take good care while listening.

📝 Episode Overview

What does it really mean to live as a system in a world obsessed with being “just one person”? This week, we’re joined by psychologist, researcher, and unapologetic plural Sandi James. Together, we dive deep into the lived realities of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and plural life—unpacking treatment trauma, internal disconnect, and the everyday magic (and chaos) of showing up in a world that often doesn’t see you.

Sandy shares unfiltered truths about:

* Surviving—and thriving—after treatment that missed the mark

* The funny and frustrating sides of dissociation (like dog-sitting for strangers!)

* The real reasons systems “drop off the planet”—and why connection still matters

* Practical tips for co-fronting, calendar hacks, and making therapy work for your system

* How therapists and allies can better show up for plurals

Whether you’re a system, a clinician, or someone who loves and supports either—this conversation promises validation, laughter, and hope.

🕰️ Episode Timestamps

* 00:00 – Welcome! Meet Sandi James and today’s big questions

* 01:00 – Sandi’s story: treatment-resistant research, and why labels matter

* 03:15 – Deconstructing myths: “Manipulative,” “attention-seeking,” and “resistant”—what’s really going on?

* 06:00 – The clinical blind spot: “I don’t remember” ≠ lying

* 07:00 – Loneliness, masking, and the ache for connection in plural life

* 10:30 – Getting out the door: swings, surfboards, and sensory hacks

* 13:30 – Bright shoes and reclaiming the gaze: system pride in public

* 16:00 – Negotiating who fronts in social settings—and building internal trust

* 21:00 – System imposter syndrome: Who’s the “real” me, anyway?

* 28:00 – Holding space for others, even with internal doubt

* 33:30 – Calendar color-coding, alarms, and planning for plural life

* 42:00 – Partners who don’t know you’re plural: navigating silence and safety

* 51:00 – Friendships, “ghosting,” and parts with different social needs

* 57:00 – Hope for systems who feel like “too much”

* 1:04:00 – Harmony isn’t perfection: it’s persistence

* 1:12:00 – “I don’t want to go back—I want to discover who I am now.”

* 1:16:00 – Closing: Healing doesn’t require perfection or performance

💡 Who Should Listen?

* Plurals and systems seeking real talk and solidarity

* Therapists, case managers, and support teams wanting deeper understanding

* Friends & loved ones who want to show up better for the systems in their lives

🌈 Why You’ll Love This Episode

Prepare for laughter, honesty, and a gentle reminder: you’re not too much, and you’re definitely not alone. Tune in for validation, practical tips, and hope—no matter where you are on the journey.

Listen now, and re-discover what it means to be plural and becoming.💫

Episode Overview

What happens when therapy isn’t accessible—or when it just doesn’t fit? Jade Miller joins us to talk about the power of peer support for people with dissociative identities, why healing doesn't have to follow a clinical script, and how redefining recovery can lead to real transformation.

This is a conversation about choice, internal trust, and the radical act of loving all your parts.

💡 Key Topics

🔹 Peer Coaching vs. TherapyWhat peer support is—and what it isn’t.

🔹 Redefining HealingWhy integration isn’t the only (or best) outcome.

🔹 Lived ExperienceHow peer work fills gaps traditional therapy can’t.

🔹 Provider PitfallsWhat not to assume when working with systems.

🔹 Daily Life as HealingMicro-moments, not checklists, keep systems steady.

🔹 Internal ConnectionRespect among parts is foundational for healing.

🔹 Jade’s DreamListen in to find out!

🧰 Tools & Resources

* System Synergy Workbook – 150+ pages of printable tools for systems, from check-ins to coloring pages.

* Dear Little Ones – A gentle, beloved book for littles and systems everywhere.

* Medical Provider Letter Template – Free download to support safe, trauma-informed care.

🌐 Connect with Jade

* Website: PeerSupportForMultiples.com

* Instagram: @peersupportformultiples

* Facebook: Peer Support for Multiples

* Support Safe Harbor Peer Respite

💬 Why Listen?

If you’re a system, provider, or someone who loves a system—this episode is a gentle but powerful reminder:There’s no one right way to heal. Only your way.And you’re not alone.

🎧 Hit play and share with someone who needs to hear this.