Happy holidays HERself listeners. We know many people are busy with their friends and families this week. So we are throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes that we know is going to meet many of you with so much solidarity. Janelle Teves is one of those women who when you talk to her you instantly feel better. Not only does she know and respect that we are juggling a lot but she reminds us that we are doing an amazing job.

Jeanelle Teves, is the Chief Commercial Officer of Bugaboo. She is also a speaker, a wife, and a mom of two kids; ages three and six. Jeanelle is crushing it in corporate America and has a stay at home partner. We cover both of these topics in our interview and we touch on confidence. Jeanelle shares how she built her own and how she fully embodies it.

We know lots of our listeners have times in their lives where they contemplate a career move. Maybe you’ve thought about leaving your job all together and being a full-time stay at home parent? Jeanelle shares how she knows when it is time to make a change. She also manages a fully remote team and knows that for moms who are working from home, it can be easy to blur the lines between professional and mom. She shares her tips on how to set some boundaries both at home and with your work place.

In Jeanelle’s family, she is the breadwinner and her husband is the full-time stay at home working parent. Jeanelle talks to us about how they came to this decision as a family and what she does to support her husband in finding time for himself outside of all the household work he puts in.

Finally, we know that a lot of women can struggle with confidence at times. If this has been you, tune in to hear how Jeanelle is so unapologetic about her successes and the tips she has on how you yourself can grow in this area.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Follow Jeanelle on Instagram - @jeanelleteves

Follow Jeanelle on LinkedIn

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This week, we’re getting honest about something we know so many of you are feeling too: the mental load of the holiday season. Even as two high-functioning women in very different ways, this stretch of the year has us struggling. Between the busy season in our industry—podcasting, affiliate links, end-of-year pushes—and the nonstop holiday commitments, we’ve both been feeling behind and overwhelmed. And if you’re there too, we want you to know: you’re not alone.

We walk through the real mental load moms carry right now—coordinating gift lists, keeping track of school dress-up days, navigating volunteer asks, and trying to make everything magical on top of everyday life. So we talk about giving yourself grace, slowing down, and putting the load on paper so you can actually see what you’re carrying.

We also dive into how differently we each cope. Amy checks in with herself more intentionally this time of year, especially because being overwhelmed means little comments from others can sting more than usual. Abby talks about being a natural ruminator—and how bringing things up with safe people, sooner rather than later, can bring so much peace of mind.

Family dynamics during the holidays can get complicated, too. Amy shares the powerful reminder that she can’t control how other people experience the holiday. And if anxiety is creeping in, communicating that with the people closest to you can make all the difference.

We also share how we balance two totally different approaches to managing the mental load. Abby swears by writing everything down. Amy has always found the idea overwhelming… but she’s giving it a try. And Abby walks through how to take that practice a step further once it’s all out of your head and on paper. A big takeaway for both of us? Choose one thing and complete it from start to finish. The more we multitask, the more scattered we feel. Slowing down and focusing on a single task has been grounding for us both.

Toward the end, we highlight some incredibly helpful tips from our friend Kate Borsato of @theperinatalcollective (linked below). This community has walked alongside us for almost six years now, and we hope today’s episode helps you feel supported, understood, and a little lighter during such a busy season.

You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

JONES: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

The Perinatal Collective on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theperinatalcollective/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We’ve had Eli Weinstein on the podcast before (episode 182), where we focused on the postpartum period. Today, we’re talking about the next phase of parenthood—one that brings its own growing pains, relationship shifts, and a whole new set of expectations.

In his new book, Eli introduces the “holy trinity” of relationships: expectations, perception, and reality. He walks us through how easy it is for these three to get misaligned. One example almost every parent can relate to: when one partner works from home, the expectation is that more will get done around the house. When it doesn’t happen, the perception becomes that the partner is lazy, when the reality is that no one ever clearly set the expectation in the first place.

If you’ve been here for a bit, you know about Amy and Drew’s weekly meetings. Amy is honest—she doesn’t always look forward to them—but they’ve drastically improved clarity around roles and tasks. If you’re trying to bring something like this into your own relationship, Eli shares one simple 15-minute daily practice that can soften resistance and rebuild connection.

We also get into a feeling many of us have had at some point: “Why does my spouse feel like another child I have to remind all the time?” Eli normalizes the frustration. Giving your partner direction—even if it seems obvious—is better than simmering in resentment later. Think of it as a reset: just like teaching a child how to walk, sometimes our partners have never been taught certain systems, and clarity is an act of kindness.

Eli also breaks down his “import and export” lists. This framework helps families intentionally remove what no longer serves them while protecting what does. And of course, gratitude comes up—Eli shares why small, frequent expressions of appreciation might be the most powerful shift you can make in your marriage.

Eli closes the conversation with a grounding reminder: every couple is navigating this same transition. You are not alone. It’s never too late to reset, reconnect, and focus on your relationship with more compassion and clarity.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself

Listen to episode #182 - Eli Weinstein with a Male’s Perspective on Partnership After Kids and Sharing the Mental Load: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/eliweinsteinmentalload

Pre-order his new book "From I Do to We Do" AND get a free workbook: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book

Eli’s Website: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/

The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/podcast

Follow Eli on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

Friendship is one of the topics we get asked about most, so we brought back Dr. Marisa Franco, one of the world’s leading voices on human connection. We dive straight into the heart of modern friendship and start with something that influences every relationship we have: attachment styles. Marisa explains how these patterns begin in childhood, how they show up differently in adulthood, and why none of us fit neatly into one category.

We explore one of the biggest questions we hear from listeners: if you tend to be anxious or avoidant, do you end up attracting friends with the same tendencies? Marisa shares one of her biggest challenges in her research—secure people continue to find each other easily, while those who struggle with connection often repeat the same patterns with similar types of friends.

Since many of you are new moms or navigating school-aged seasons, we ask Marisa what to do when a friend needs more from you than you can realistically give. She reminds us that it’s okay to say no and that saying no with kindness helps preserve the relationship.

Although friendship looks natural from the outside, we share honestly that it hasn’t always been effortless for us either. Amy opens up about how isolating early motherhood felt and why making new friends during that time was unexpectedly hard. If you’re in a season where friendship feels like it has to fall to the bottom of the list, Marisa offers a powerful reminder of why connection still matters—and what small steps can help bring it back to the forefront.

Finally, we talk about the hardest part of friendship: knowing when it’s time to end one. Should you let the relationship fade or have a more direct conversation? Marisa shares how to discern which path is right, and she gives guidance on something we rarely talk about—grieving a friendship.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Listen to HERself episode #145 Dr. Marisa Franco on the Importance of Adult Friendship; https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/adultfriendship

Read Dr. Marisa Franco’s Book; Platonic: https://amzlink.to/az0lb2DLKWeWk

Follow Marisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/

Dr. Marisa’s Website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

The holidays are here, and before the chaos kicks in, we wanted to sit down for a cozy reset with you. Think of this as the pep talk we all need—the kind you can take with you on a walk, a drive, or while you hide in the pantry for a minute of quiet. Today we’re sharing the mindset shifts and simple strategies that help us move through the holidays with more ease, compassion, and actual enjoyment.

We talk about why we both love one big open-invite approach to Thanksgiving, what it’s like hosting when your family has complicated dynamics, and how to offer grace to your partner if they come from a divorced family. Abby opens up about growing through the disappointment of people not showing up, and Amy shares a grounding reminder for anyone juggling multiple households.

We also dig into the lighter stuff—like food. Hosting doesn’t mean you have to do it all. Press the easy button, buy the pie, ask guests to bring what they need, or pack your own if you’re visiting. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence.

And since tricky conversations happen, we share a few simple phrases you can keep in your back pocket when topics start going sideways. Getting your partner on the same page helps too, even if it doesn’t always work perfectly.

As moms of three who often have 15+ people in our homes, we also talk about stepping away when you need a breather. Whether it’s a quick reset or heading to bed early—give yourself permission. Taking care of yourself helps you enjoy the holidays more, not less.

Most of all, we hope this episode helps you craft the best holiday season you can have. And if it’s not magical? That’s okay too. Moms deserve joy this time of year, whatever that looks like for you.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Let’s be real — when it comes to chores, our kids could definitely be doing more. We’ve mentioned this topic before, but today we’re finally diving in headfirst: what are age-appropriate chores and responsibilities for kids?

Inside the Kiefer and Green homes, things look a little different — and there’s room for improvement in both. In a world where everyone shows their highlight reels, we want to keep it honest. Yes, we have strengths, but we also have areas where we’re still figuring it out.

Amy shares her goal of raising boys who can fully take care of themselves one day — the kind of men who know how to cook, clean, and do laundry without being asked. She doesn’t want any future partner looking at her like, “Who did you raise?” Abby opens up about the pressure she felt to be overly responsible as a child, and how she’s making sure her own kids don’t carry that same weight. Both agree: the men in our homes play a huge role in setting an example that everyone participates in keeping a household running.

Then we get into one of the biggest debates — should kids be paid for chores? Amy shares exactly how much her boys earn for certain tasks and what’s still expected of them for free. Abby’s family takes a different approach, focusing on teamwork and shared responsibility — and she explains why that works so well for them.

We also break down what age-appropriate chores actually look like — from toddlers learning independence through simple tasks, to preschoolers pitching in with supervision, to elementary-aged kids taking real ownership around the house. And for those preteens? You might be surprised by just how capable they are when given the chance.

As you listen, think about what your family is doing well. Celebrate that! And then take one small step toward helping your kids grow their confidence and independence through everyday responsibility.

Listen to Episode #308. Our Core Parenting Pillars We Stand By: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/episode-308-core-parenting-pillars

Website where we found these lists of age appropriate chores: https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/chores/the-ultimate-list-of-age-appropriate-chores/

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

JONES: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today we’re welcoming Claire Lerner back to the podcast! Claire specializes in helping parents understand and support big reactors—kids whose emotions and reactions tend to run higher and deeper than most.

Our first episode with Claire was one of our most popular, so we knew we had to bring her back for round two. If you’re parenting a child with a sensitive temperament, this episode will leave you feeling seen and equipped with real strategies to help your family thrive.

In this conversation, we dive deeper into what works—and what doesn’t—when parenting spirited kids. Amy opens up about what she used to do differently before learning more about emotional regulation, and why she no longer feels like there’s no hope. Claire reminds us that growth for these kids starts with growth in us as parents—and with the right tools, things really can get better.

We talk about what to do when traditional talk therapy isn’t the right fit, and how to handle it when your partner isn’t on the same page. Claire also shares how to navigate the tricky moments when siblings point out that your big reactor seems to get “different rules,” and what to do when their emotions seem even bigger in public settings. She explains why confidence and praise can be complicated for deeply feeling kids, and how to shift your language so it encourages them. We even cover what to do when a big reactor crosses a line with a younger sibling.

Claire brings in real-life examples from her work, and we include some of the listener questions you submitted ahead of time. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or worried that things will never improve, this episode will remind you that progress is possible—it’s never too late to reconnect and help your child (and yourself) grow.

Visit Claire’s Website: https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/

Follow Claire on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lernerchilddevelopment/

Listen to episode #157 with Claire Lerner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/clairelerner

Claire’s new book Big Reactors: https://amzlink.to/az00iZb3Kz7XS

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s episode looks a little different—Abby is solo behind the mic to share something that’s been weighing on her heart: the tug-of-war between loving motherhood and missing freedom.

Freedom has always been one of Abby’s top core values, but motherhood changes everything. Overnight, the spontaneity disappears, replaced by structure, schedules, and responsibility. As much as we love our children, there’s this deep ache for autonomy—time to just be without worrying about what someone else needs next.

In this raw and relatable conversation, Abby shares real-life reframes and practical strategies for moms who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood. She opens up about the moments when she wonders, “How did I even get here?” and how she’s learning to shift her focus from what’s been lost to what’s been gained.

From navigating kids’ sports schedules to redefining productivity, Abby brings honesty, humor, and heart to this discussion. She reminds us that while this season can feel long and heavy, it’s also fleeting—and filled with growth, love, and unexpected joy.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest - https://www.eatforage.com/

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.