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Jamie shares her healing journey from anxiety, stress, guilt, and shame, revealing how therapy helped her recognize these feelings stemmed from childhood patterns rather than personal failings.

• Growing up in a household with alcoholism where Jamie took on the caretaker role
• Learning to separate her emotions from others' through EMDR therapy
• Understanding that her value isn't tied to fixing others or making them happy
• Creating space in relationships by asking "do you want advice or just listening?"
• Facing the fear of losing relationships when stepping back from the fixer role
• Using tools like writing thoughts out and sharing vulnerably with trusted people
• Recognizing healing as an ongoing process of identifying patterns and choosing new responses

Stay cute, stay loud, maybe check out therapy, and dance even when everyone is watching.

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Beth shares her decade-long healing journey from divorce, revealing how losing her marriage helped her discover she'd never truly found herself. We explore the difference between healthy independence and over-independence, why yellow flags deserve as much attention as red ones, and how building a metaphorical toolbox helps navigate future challenges.

• Moving from blame to accountability as the first step in healing
• Losing independence before marriage and transferring dependency from twin sister to spouse
• Starting small with solo activities to rebuild confidence and self-reliance
• Learning to wave yellow flags instead of pocketing them in relationships
• Standing up for your worth through difficult conversations
• Building an emotional toolbox for handling triggers and challenges
• Finding balance between independence and willingness to share life with someone
• Using daily gratitude journaling to end each day on a positive note

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Support the show

Follow me on Instagram @goasksawyer

Send us a text

We explore what makes healthy friendships, how they evolve over time, and why these connections are essential to our wellbeing.

• Healthy friendships include people who cheer for you, show up when you're vulnerable, and lovingly call you out when needed
• True friends welcome you back after periods of absence without judgment
• Outgrowing friendships often happens naturally through distance rather than confrontation
• Our approach to friendship is heavily influenced by what we observed in our parents
• Friendship represents one of the most unconditional forms of love in our lives
• Deep friendships allow us to be seen and accepted through different life phases
• The isolation from missing friendship connections can significantly impact mental health
• Supporting friends should come naturally without having to be explicitly asked
• Being honest about the state of your friendships and how you show up as a friend is crucial

Let's be honest about our friends, check in with ourselves about how we show up as friends, and remember to be loud and dance even when everyone is watching.

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Season 5 kicks off with my friend Toya from Universal Teas! In our mini series, Backyard Conversations, we will dig into healing, friendships, and shining bright. Sit back and join us for episode 1 - Healing isn't Happiness.

Healing isn't happiness, and happiness isn't healing. In this candid conversation with Toya from Universal Tees, we explore what healing really looks like, when it happens, and what we learn through the process.

• Healing looks different for everyone—sometimes it requires isolation, sometimes community
• Breaking out of cultural "bubbles" can force us to confront aspects of ourselves we didn't know needed healing
• Shame is an "inside job" that comes from within, not something others can put on us
• Being "healed" means having awareness and tools, not the absence of negative emotions
• Self-trust is essential to healing—if you don't trust yourself, you'll never truly trust others
• Essential tools for healing include therapy, movement, journaling, meditation, music, and honest self-reflection
• Consistency with your healing tools builds self-trust and accelerates the healing process
• Healing requires ownership of both who you were and who you're becoming

Join us next week as we talk about our circles: who's supporting us, who's holding us back, and knowing when to let go.

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In this final episode of our journaling series, we explore how healing comes in circles and manifests when familiar wounds are triggered but we respond differently. Mercury retrograde creates a perfect opportunity to slow down and reflect on our personal growth since April, measuring healing not by perfect avoidance of pain but by our newfound tools to navigate it without drowning.

• Started journaling series in April with "finding yourself again" as our foundation
• Explored topics of worth, shame, settling, and why we lie to ourselves and others
• Discussed abandonment issues and how they trigger feelings of being unworthy, small, and ugly
• Healing happens when same wounds get activated but we have new ways to respond
• People who hurt us most are usually those who don't know their own worth
• Healing requires recognizing your value even when others don't reflect it back to you
• Small consistent actions like daily journaling or exercise compound into significant change
• Season 5 will focus on stories of healing beyond just the host's experiences

Send your healing stories to @GoAskSawyer on Instagram or through the podcast text line. Please stay cute, stay loud, keep dancing, even when everyone is watching.

Season 4 Episodes:

April 13 - Finding yourself again

April 20 - Finding your worth - choosing you first

April 27 - Shame - What is our authentic self

May 4 - Setting - Why do we do it and how do our unhealed versions of ourself keep us settling

May 18th - Break time! Shake off routine - what did you try that was new?

May 25 - Lying series begins

June 1 - Part 1: Lie to ourselves - self deception

June 8 - Part 2: The masks we wear and how we harm ourselves

June 15 - Having faith, cutting cords, and zero fucsk - how have any of these impacted you? Didn’t listen, go do that.

June 22 - Unlocking your personal legend - what is it you were meant to do and how are YOU holding yourself back. I feel like I am supposed to be using my voice more and I know this because whenever I go to do it, I get really nervous and second guess everything I want to say. I feel like that is the sabbatoge part of me coming out to keep it hidden. The parts of us that are supposed to be used and seen, we often feel the most uncomfortable with. (Not everyone, but most.)

July 6 - Part 1: Emotional Honesty in relationships - what being the strong one (lying) can actually cost us.

July 13 - Part 2: The silent war in relationships - what is left unsaid speaks volumes.

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What we don't say in relationships is still speaking. Silence, people-pleasing, and passive-aggressive behavior become forms of dishonesty that create voids in our relationships instead of keeping the peace.

• Avoiding hard conversations doesn't keep the peace but creates a quiet war and builds resentment
• The longer we swallow small frustrations, the harder it becomes to address issues before they explode
• When we think we're "fine" but feel disconnected, our bodies often signal the truth through stomach tightness or that gut feeling
• Relationships require brave honesty - having faith that truth, even uncomfortable truth, ultimately serves connection
• Effective communication tools include expressing feelings directly instead of shutting down
• Taking space when needed ("I need 24 hours") can prevent unnecessary escalation
• How others respond to our truths reflects their character, not our worth
• The only way to the other side is through - silence is never neutral, it either protects connection or erodes it
• You don't have to be loud to be heard - the louder you get, the less people will hear you

This week, pay attention to where you decide to be quiet in your relationships. Let's keep practicing brave honesty with ourselves and with others.

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We continue our emotional honesty series, focusing on what it costs us to always be "the strong one" in our relationships and how this role can lead to feelings of resentment and invisibility.

• Exploring the pride and shadow side of being the reliable, strong person in relationships
• Understanding how always being "the strong one" can create distance and breed resentment
• Reflecting on how controlling situations by helping others feel heard can prevent us from expressing our own needs
• Considering whether our strength position is a conscious choice or an automatic habit
• Learning that vulnerability isn't weakness but a path to deeper intimacy
• Journaling exercise to identify moments where we feel compelled to be strong and imagining what asking for help might feel like

Journaling prompts:

• When are moments you feel like you HAVE to be strong?
• Do you know how to pause?
• What would if feel like to allow someone else to be strong for you?
• Who do you feel safest with and why?
• What would if feel like to be still in loud moments?

Keep dancing, even when everyone is watching. Peace.

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