Episodes

  • What’s Really Sexy (and Nobody Talks About It)

    What’s Really Sexy (and Nobody Talks About It)
    Dec 18 2025
    After unpacking our culture’s obsession with “perfect” bodies, this week we’re flipping the script. In this episode, we’re celebrating what’s actually hot: the things that don’t get enough love in the gay world. We’re talking dad bods, wrinkles, kindness, confidence, awkward charm, conversational skills, and all the real stuff that makes someone magnetic. Some of the things we’re talking about: How social media perpetuates social norms that don’t fit The traits we find sexy that don’t get enough love Stories of when we’ve fallen for people outside our type The roles of dating apps in attraction and rejectionHow our types have changed (and how they haven’t) This is our love letter to all the guys out there who feel they aren’t sexy because they don’t fit the mold. It’s time to expand our definition of sexy and give some overdue appreciation where it’s due. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorioMatt LandsiedelReno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: What's Really Sexy?(00:01:15) - How To Survive A Culture of Body Perfection(00:03:42) - The Real Sexy, Unmarketed(00:04:42) - Celebrating What's Real(00:05:09) - What Is Something That You Think Is Sexy About Your Guy?(00:06:02) - 5 Things That Make A Guy Sexy(00:08:03) - What's The Sexiest Walk?(00:08:55) - Michael's Signature Walk(00:09:45) - Alexandra On Being Hot For Quirkies(00:12:44) - People Compare Their Feet To Hands(00:14:58) - What's The Non Physical Attraction Of Gay People?(00:18:37) - Dad Bods and Big Nose(00:21:23) - Oh, Lisps and Accents(00:21:58) - Connection Circle(00:22:58) - My Types Are Different(00:27:06) - I Should've Swiped On Grindr Instead Of Dating(00:31:10) - Are You My Type?(00:34:44) - Matt Reno And Chris Hemsworth On Being Unorthodox(00:37:34) - Michael Jackson On His Hotness(00:39:37) - Thank You!!!
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    41 mins
  • How to Thrive in the Culture of Body Perfection

    How to Thrive in the Culture of Body Perfection
    Dec 11 2025

    From the gym to social media, gay men are constantly surrounded by images of the “ideal” body. But what does all this perfection chasing actually cost us?

    In this episode, we explore how body perfection culture impacts gay men on a deeper level: from belonging and self-worth to intimacy and identity.

    We open up about our own journeys with body image— how we’ve moved from obsession to acceptance, where it still sneaks in today, and what we’ve learned along the way.

    You’ll hear us unpack:

    • Why body image matters more for gay men
    • How fitness and self-worth often get mixed up
    • The difference between caring for your body and obsessing over it
    • How to stop letting your reflection decide your mood
    • Practical ways to reclaim confidence and self-respect

    If you’ve ever felt like a “perfect” body will earn you love, attention, or belonging, this one’s for you.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Matt Landsiedel
    • Michael DiIorio

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
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    44 mins
  • Radical Honesty: Letting Yourself Be Known

    Radical Honesty: Letting Yourself Be Known
    Dec 4 2025

    In this episode, we dive into what radical honesty really means- not the brutally blunt “telling it like it is” version, but the deeper, more vulnerable kind that lets you actually be known.

    We explore why being honest is both terrifying and liberating, the subtle ways we still avoid it, and how honesty differs from harsh truth-telling. We share our own struggles with showing up honestly in dating, friendships, and community, and why the outcome isn’t always pretty… but is always worth it.

    If honesty is one of your personal values (or you want it to be) this episode will give you plenty to reflect on. And if you’re enjoying these more relaxed, conversational episodes, let us know. We’ve been loving creating them.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Matt Landsiedel
    • Michael DiIorio

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
    Chapters
    • (00:00:00) - Game & Going Deeper: The Gaiman Brothers Podcast
    • (00:00:26) - What is Radical HONOR?
    • (00:04:35) - Being Candid With My Partner
    • (00:06:25) - How To Talk About Jealousy In Relationships
    • (00:10:04) - Radical honesty can be a beautiful tool to heal intimacy
    • (00:14:36) - Radical Alignment: The Benefits of Real Love
    • (00:20:06) - Radical Honesty and the Relationship
    • (00:22:38) - What are some other things that you need to practice radical honesty in
    • (00:27:51) - Slices With Matt Maher
    • (00:28:20) - What's Hard for You to Share?
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    29 mins
  • Twinks, Jocks, and Bears, Oh My! The Obsession with Gay Labels

    Twinks, Jocks, and Bears, Oh My! The Obsession with Gay Labels
    Nov 27 2025

    Today we’re diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels.

    In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves.

    We explore:

    • Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting)
    • How they create tribe, shorthand, and community
    • When they become boxes we get stuck in
    • How attraction, identity, and insecurity get wrapped into these roles
    • What happens when you “grow out” of a label or never fit one at all

    It’s a fun, honest look at the ways we use labels to navigate gay life: where they help, where they fall short, and why they matter more than most of us want to admit.

    If you enjoy these more conversational episodes, let us know… we’re trying something new.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Matt Landsiedel
    • Michael DiIorio

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
    Chapters
    • (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: A Short Talk
    • (00:01:02) - What Gay Labels Do You Use?
    • (00:05:21) - Gay People Don't Like Labels
    • (00:08:40) - In the Gay Community's Elite Communities
    • (00:11:56) - Gay Men Let Go Of Their Identities
    • (00:17:07) - The Negative Connotations of Labels
    • (00:21:34) - Gay People Play With Their Identities
    • (00:24:54) - Spontaneous Conversation With The Gaiman's Brotherhood
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    26 mins
  • The Slow Fade: When We Ghost Without Ghosting

    The Slow Fade: When We Ghost Without Ghosting
    Nov 20 2025
    Today we’re talking about The Slow Fade: that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it’s just silence. In this episode, we’re unpacking: Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversationsWhat’s actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the FadeeWho deserves an explanation and who doesn’t What can we do instead of fading away If you’ve ever been on either side of The Slow Fade, this conversation will help you see what’s really going on underneath, and how to move through it with more clarity, courage, and integrity. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorioMatt LandsiedelReno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Slow Fade(00:01:12) - Why We're Always Ghosting(00:01:53) - What Is The Slow Fade?(00:03:17) - How To Deal With An Uncomfortable Relationship(00:08:02) - What To Do About A faded Love Letter(00:10:20) - What's The Slow Fade?(00:14:06) - Gay Men Talk About Dating Apps(00:15:05) - Matt on Slow Fade(00:19:17) - In the Elevator With Real People(00:20:38) - A Sense of Community With Neil Gaiman(00:21:42) - The Fader and the Fade(00:22:42) - The Signs That Someone Is Starting To Distance From You(00:26:51) - When You're Not Enough, Do You Lash Out?(00:28:44) - Fader: Being Honest With My Friends(00:30:34) - The Slow Fade(00:34:52) - Reno on His Heartbreak(00:36:16) - Slow Fling(00:37:44) - The Gay Men's Brotherhood(00:41:30) - How to Deal With An Avoidant Partner(00:45:32) - You Can't Force People To Tell You Things(00:46:52) - Gaiman's Brotherhood
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    48 mins
  • Nesting: Creating Platonic Spaces for Healing and Authentic Connection in the Gay Community

    Nesting: Creating Platonic Spaces for Healing and Authentic Connection in the Gay Community
    Nov 13 2025
    What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men?What moments in our lives require the need for nesting?How do we know when we’re “nested” — or when we’re not?What makes a nest truly safe?How do you tend and protect a nest once it’s formed?What could gay culture look like if nesting became normal?What’s one small way you can begin nesting today? Today's Guest: Nigel Pedlingham Gay Men's RetreatInstagramLinkedIn Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel FacebookInstagramTikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Chapters (00:00:05) - Gaiman Going Deeper: The Need for Gay Sexual Spaces(00:01:44) - The Nested Experience(00:07:27) - The Neve of Gay Men(00:10:48) - Are Gay Nests Sexual?(00:17:38) - The Need for Self-Compassion(00:23:32) - Exploring the Body in Gay Groups(00:26:36) - Why are these spaces so important for gay and queer men?(00:29:15) - How to help lone wolves(00:31:51) - What Makes You Feel Like You're a Real Person?(00:33:58) - What Makes Gay Men Feel Like They Deserve Their Love?(00:39:06) - How to Connect with Others(00:40:53) - Finding a nest(00:44:34) - An offering to the sacred men(00:46:52) - Let's Nest
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    48 mins
  • How to Open Your Heart to Receive Love

    How to Open Your Heart to Receive Love
    Nov 6 2025

    We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it?

    In this episode, we’re going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm’s length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we’re unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most).

    You’ll learn:

    • Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it
    • How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it
    • The difference between performing for love and allowing it in
    • Practical ways to build safety, self-trust, and openness in all forms of love—romantic, platonic, and self

    If you find yourself pushing love away, deflecting compliments, or find yourself stuck in patterns that keep intimacy just out of reach—this one’s for you.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Michael DiIorio
    • Matt Landsiedel

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
    Chapters
    • (00:00:02) - Gaiman Going Deeper: How to Open Your Heart to Love
    • (00:02:43) - The Secret to Feeling Love
    • (00:05:36) - When I Can't Receive Love
    • (00:10:25) - Navy Green and The Beauty of Technology
    • (00:10:41) - Why It's So Hard To Receive Love
    • (00:15:35) - What I'm Most Afraid Of
    • (00:18:18) - In What Ways Has It Been Difficult to Receive Love From
    • (00:19:33) - What Does It Look Like To Receive Love?
    • (00:23:04) - Letting Yourself Receive Love
    • (00:24:07) - Receiving Love From Others
    • (00:29:03) - How to Learn How to Receive Love
    • (00:30:35) - 5 Tips for Open Your Heart to Love
    • (00:34:51) - How to Open Your Heart to Love
    • (00:41:03) - Gay Men Talking About Love
    • (00:44:04) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Unpacking Love
    Show More Show Less
    45 mins
  • Falling in Love With The Fantasy

    Falling in Love With The Fantasy
    Oct 30 2025
    Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael DiIorio and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing. We’ll unpack: What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytellingHow seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfiedHow to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and humanWhether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less” If you’ve ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo WebsiteInstagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio WebsiteInstagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Ta... Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deeper: Falling In Love With The Fantasy(00:01:47) - What Is Love And The Perfect Relationship?(00:04:03) - Falling In Love With Potential(00:05:02) - Have You Ever Fall In Love With Potential?(00:07:47) - How To Tell When You're Falling In Love With a Potential Partner(00:10:15) - What I Learned From Falling In Love With Fantasy(00:14:17) - What I Wish I Knew About Falling For My Guy(00:17:11) - Chasing A Single Guy(00:19:25) - Gay Men's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:20:31) - The Perfect Boyfriend Myth(00:22:19) - What Are Some Standards That Gay People Have For Their Love Relationships(00:27:09) - "And It's Proof To Who?"(00:27:18) - Michael on Dating and Being Single(00:32:08) - Michael: Don't Have A List Of Qualities For Dating(00:34:41) - What Advice Would You Give Someone Who's Chasing Perfection(00:40:05) - "The More Perfect My Relationship, the More Lovable I Am(00:43:06) - How to Connect with People(00:43:16) - Gaming Going Deeper: Falling In Love With The Fantasy
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    44 mins