Ever wondered what restaurant staff are really thinking when you sit down at their table? Adam—a veteran server turned James Beard Award-winning food writer (he won after this episode was recorded!) —pulls back the curtain on the high-stakes world of New York hospitality in this revealing conversation.

From fabricating his resume to land his first restaurant gig at a comedy-themed Times Square spot to eventually working at prestigious establishments like Carbone and Babbo, Adam shares the unconventional path that led him from "salty waiter" to respected food journalist. His journey reveals the hidden economic realities of restaurant work, where fine dining servers can earn six-figure "lawyer money" while navigating complex workplace dynamics.

The conversation takes unflinching looks at hospitality's darker sides – the hereditary cycles of kitchen abuse, the impossible expectations placed on service staff to be "psychoanalysts, comedians, and therapists" simultaneously, and the unspoken rules that govern dining experiences. Adam explains why questioning a bad tip remains taboo, how international visitors navigate tipping culture, and why camping at tables disrupts an entire restaurant's ecosystem.

This episode transforms how you'll think about your next dining experience. Adam's forthcoming book "The New Rules of Dining Out: An Insider's Guide to Enjoying Restaurants" positions dining as a collaborative partnership rather than a one-way service transaction. "You can have bad experiences at great restaurants and great experiences at bad restaurants," he reflects, "but the one constant in both scenarios is you."

Ready to become a more mindful diner who gets better service? Listen now and discover the power of understanding what's happening behind the scenes during your next restaurant visit. Then check out Adam's upcoming book – available for pre-order now – to master the unwritten rules of dining that can transform your experiences forever.

Adam Reiner's Writing:

We Need to Talk About Trader Joe's

The Restaurant Manifesto

Pre-order: The New Rules of Dining Out: An Insider's Guide to Enjoying Restaurants

Mentions:

The Principles of Etiquette by Emily Post

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