What happens when four men from the Santa Cruz surf community strip away their tough exteriors and speak honestly about depression? This raw, powerful conversation breaks new ground as host Michael Howard and guests Jack Akrop, Neal Kearney, and Nick Borelli share their personal journeys through mental health struggles.

Michael opens with his story of battling depression since age 12, masking sadness with anger, and creating an identity as "the nice angry guy" in the lineup - a strategy that worked until his mid-40s when he could no longer outrun his demons. Jack reveals his experiences with bipolar disorder, describing the shame of not feeling grateful despite living in paradise and how helping others through coaching provides purpose. Neal shares how chronic physical pain led to depression and substance abuse, eventually finding healthier ways to manage both. Nick recounts feeling like a misfit since childhood and using alcohol to feel comfortable in his own skin.

The conversation dives deep into how traditional schooling affects boys' mental health, father-son relationships that shaped their sense of self, and the daily challenges of simply getting out of bed when depression hits. What emerges is a toolkit of strategies these men use to navigate dark days: service to others, exercise, nature immersion, and accepting "funky days" rather than fighting them.

Perhaps most striking is how these men - part of a surf culture often defined by competition and toughness - demonstrate the healing power of vulnerability. Their honesty creates a blueprint for authentic male friendship and community support that goes far beyond the water's edge. For anyone struggling with depression or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers both comfort in shared experience and practical approaches to finding light in the darkness.