Navigating the choppy waters of family separation is a journey that touches countless lives, with a staggering 1 in 3 children under 16 experiencing this significant shift in their family dynamics. As parents, we often grapple with the burning question: "How will this affect my little ones?" It's a valid concern because yes, separation is undoubtedly a seismic event in a child's world. However, parents have the power to shape this experience, as I found out in my discussion with Dr Marielle Quint, Clinical Psychologist. Marielle has a vast amount of experience in this area and her advice will help any parent finding themselves in this situation. She emphasises the importance of conflict management, maintaining a delicate neutrality when discussing ex-partners and the importance of ongoing conversation with kids for nuance and understanding. Ultimately, Marielle leaves us with a hopeful vision: children thriving in separate, loving, stable homes where conflict gives way to understanding. It's a challenging ideal, yes, but one that's deeply worth striving for. Below are useful organisations, websites and books for parents to access:

Organisations for parents

• CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) Publishes the “Parenting Plan” to help separating parents keep child-focused planning at the center.
  https://www.cafcass.gov.uk
• Gingerbread: A charity for single parents with emotional and legal guidance.
  https://www.gingerbread.org.uk
• Family Lives: Offers a helpline and guidance for parenting through separation.
  https://www.familylives.org.uk
• The Parent Practice: Delivers training for parents on communication skills and managing family transitions. https://www.theparentpractice.com
• Relate: Counselling services for families and children going through separation.
  https://www.relate.org.uk
• The Spark (Scotland) / Tavistock Relationships (England): Offers therapy and parenting support from a psychodynamic and systemic perspective.
  https://tavistockrelationships.org

Book recommendations:

• Understanding Children's Needs when Parents Separate by Emilia Dowling and Di Elliott
• Mum and Dad Glue Paperback – by Kes Gray (Author), Lee Wildish (Illustrator)
• Living with Mum and Living with Dad: My Two Homes Paperback – by Melanie Walsh (Author)
• It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) Paperback – by Vicki Lansky (Author), Jane Prince (Author, Illustrator)
• I Don't Want to Talk About It: A Story of Divorce for Young Children by Jeanie Franz Ransom (Author), Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator)
• The Divorce Journal for Kids by Sue Atkins (Author) and Amy Bradley (Illustrator)
• The Split Survival Kit - 10 Steps for Coping with your Parents' separation by Ruth Fitzgerald (Author)
• When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings)
• Helping Children to Cope with Change, Stress and Anxiety: A Photocopiable Activities Book