Dateable AF Episode 16

The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell.

Producer: Jordan Cannon

Theme Song: Cade Kyle

Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat

Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.

Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.

Datable AF — E16

“I’m Not Clingy, You’re Just Distant” — Dating With Different Attachment Styles

Sarah & Rachel unpack attachment theory (Ainsworth, Bowlby) and how secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant styles play out in queer dating—without turning your date into a diagnosis.

In this episode:

• Why anxious/avoidant pairings create that chase/run loop—and how both people can pause the cycle.
• Simple repair moves: name your needs, take space with a return time, and actually come back.
• Texting rhythms: consistent ≠ constant. Don’t double-text in protest or stonewall to punish.
• Green flags of secure attachment: steady communication, empathy, flexibility, low drama.
• You’re not doomed by your style—therapy, self-awareness, and a secure partner help you shift.
• Quick IRL cues: anxious energy reads faster; avoidant can mask—meet offline to really see each other.

Go deeper: free attachment quizzes + books: Attached (Amir Levine), Wired for Love (Stan Tatkin), Hold Me Tight (Sue Johnson).

Live taping: Sun, Aug 24 @ 1972 Sports Bar (Austin, TX) — details soon. Season 2 tease: still dating, now adding long-term relationship deep dives. Share, rate, follow on Apple, Spotify, IG & FB @ Datable AF.

#Hashtags #DatableAF #QueerDating #AttachmentStyles #SecureAttachment #AnxiousAvoidant #WLW #Sapphic #LGBTQPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #Communication #AmirLevine #StanTatkin #SueJohnson

A huge thanks to our sponsors and trailblazers at Shody Media LLC