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What happens when you walk the opposite path of the "influencer to evangelical pipeline"? As someone who spent 16 years as a minister with a nearly-completed Master's of Divinity, my journey away from evangelicalism toward a more liberated spirituality offers a powerful counternarrative to what we often see in today's culture.

The evangelical world I inhabited taught me I was fundamentally flawed—a "worm" in need of constant redemption. This theology created an environment where shame, guilt, and hopelessness flourished despite my genuine love for God. I felt trapped in a system where my happiness depended entirely on divine whim rather than my own agency or choices. The breaking point came when I realized I couldn't sustain the weight of perpetual inadequacy, especially within a troubled marriage and restrictive ministry.

My spiritual evolution didn't mean abandoning faith—rather, it meant expanding it. I discovered that principles of manifestation and the law of attraction could coexist beautifully with my Christian beliefs. God created natural laws like gravity; why not also laws governing how our thoughts shape reality? This revelation transformed how I approach gratitude, sexuality, and hope itself. Instead of deferring joy to some heavenly future, I began experiencing divine love and abundance in the present moment.

The contrast between my former and current spiritual understanding is perhaps most evident in my relationship with my body and sexuality. Evangelical purity culture created unbearable shame around natural desires, while my current understanding celebrates sexuality as a divine gift meant for pleasure and connection within contexts of safety and consent. This liberation hasn't made me "apostate" as some might claim—it's brought me closer to the God who created pleasure itself.

For anyone navigating their own spiritual deconstruction or questioning rigid religious frameworks, know that curiosity is sacred.

Ready to explore more? Follow my Substack "Out Here Thriving" where I continue unpacking these themes, and check out my book "Grace Actually: Memoirs of Love, Faith, Loss, and Black Womanhood."

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