Ep. 16 Socially Acceptable Addictions: How “Good” Habits Can Secretly Harm You cover art

Ep. 16 Socially Acceptable Addictions: How “Good” Habits Can Secretly Harm You

Ep. 16 Socially Acceptable Addictions: How “Good” Habits Can Secretly Harm You

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What if your morning iced coffee, non-stop productivity, or daily scroll sessions were less about comfort and more about quiet compulsion? In this thought-provoking episode, Kristen and Scott Boss dive into the sneaky world of socially acceptable addictions—the habits we justify, celebrate, and even admire… but may be slowly sabotaging us.

They unpack how culture often applauds behaviors like workaholism, exercise obsession, caffeine dependence, people-pleasing, and overcommitting—all while ignoring their deeper roots in stress, avoidance, and unmet emotional needs.

This episode isn’t about shame—it’s about self-awareness. Tune in for practical questions to reflect on your own habits, real talk about coping vs. thriving, and gentle reframes to help you build a life that nourishes rather than numbs.

What You'll Learn:

  • How to tell the difference between nourishing routines and numbing rituals
  • The concept of emotional sobriety and how to practice it
  • Why the “dose makes the poison” in socially praised behaviors
  • How to shift from compulsive habits to identity-based choices
  • The importance of pausing and getting curious without judgment

Your Happywell Homework:

Pick one “harmless” habit this week. Pause it for a day or two. Notice what comes up. Reflect with curiosity, not criticism.

Links & Mentions:

  • Atomic Habits by James Clear
  • Addiction and Grace by Gerald May
  • Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke

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Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:
  • 0:00 – Intro: Is your iced coffee a quiet compulsion?
  • 1:55 – Exploring stress types and why we seek comfort
  • 5:16 – What makes an addiction "socially acceptable"?
  • 8:09 – Workaholism: Hustle culture disguised as dedication
  • 10:04 – Exercise obsession: Discipline or dopamine?
  • 11:17 – Caffeine dependence: When stimulation masks exhaustion
  • 13:32 – Doomscrolling & digital compulsions
  • 14:58 – People-pleasing and the addiction to approval
  • 15:15 – Overcommitting: Running from stillness
  • 18:44 – The emotional cost of avoidant habits
  • 21:25 – Emotional sobriety: Feeling without fleeing
  • 22:41 – The dopamine loop: Why quick fixes leave us empty
  • 24:56 – Self-justification and the “moral license” fallacy
  • 28:24 – Burnout, dissociation, and long-term impact
  • 31:16 – 5 questions to reflect on your habits
  • 35:33 – Reaction-based vs. identity-based habits
  • 39:00 – The power of pausing and self-awareness
  • 41:52 – Happywell Homework: A gentle curiosity practice
  • 45:00 – You are allowed to change your rhythm

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