Episodes

  • Don’t Box Yourself In: Using the Enneagram Well in Your Marriage

    Don’t Box Yourself In: Using the Enneagram Well in Your Marriage
    Sep 17 2025
    Using the Enneagram in your marriage can be a beautiful tool for connection, but if we’re not mindful, it can also quietly create barriers, misunderstandings, or even resentment. In this midweek reset, Christa offers a heartfelt reminder to approach the Enneagram with wisdom, grace, and a deeper understanding of your spouse’s full humanity. Whether you’re new to the Enneagram or have been diving deep for years, this episode is your invitation to pause, reflect, and make sure you're using it in a way that truly supports growth and love in your relationship. Tune in now for the encouragement you didn’t know you needed—but won’t want to miss. Watch on YouTube! Listen to Amy Wicks over at the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    18 mins
  • AI and the Dangers of Losing of Human Connection w/Amy Wicks, Type 7

    AI and the Dangers of Losing of Human Connection w/Amy Wicks, Type 7
    Sep 15 2025
    ⁠Today we talk about AI and the dangers of losing human connection with a dear colleague and friend, Amy Wicks (Simply Wholehearted outreach and podcast), who many of our listeners know as an Enneagram coach and is also an Enneagram & Marriage Certified Coach as well! We're starting a second AI conversation (listen to the first here) which will will continue of how AI is changing our culture and lightening speed and what we can all begin to do about it. Do not use AI to get the skinny on this pod and miss this chance to engage your (actual) brain, heart, and body with us, as we dive deep together to at least somewhat untangle ourselves from the AI web that has befallen our culture. Watch on YouTube! Today we talk about AI and the dangers of losing human connection with a dear colleague and friend, Amy Wicks (Simply Wholehearted outreach and podcast), who many of our listeners know as an Enneagram coach and is also an Enneagram & Marriage Certified Coach as well! We're starting a second AI conversation (listen to the first here: https://podcasts.apple.com/jp/podcast/ai-in-your-marriage-for-better-or-for-worse/id1493137938?i=1000710264550&l=en-US) which will will continue of how AI is changing our culture and lightening speed and what we can all begin to do about it. Do not use AI to get the skinny on this pod and miss this chance to engage your (actual) brain, heart, and body with us, as we dive deep together to at least somewhat untangle ourselves from the AI web that has befallen our culture. Watch on YouTube! Listen to/watch Amy Wicks at Wholehearted! https://www.simplywholehearted.com/ and https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/simply-wholehearted/id1216920050 Sign up for the Washington Post AI Global Summit below and see other research pieces for this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/global-ai-summit-2025/Read referenced articles on AI here!https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2025/04/03/artificial-intelligence-in-daily-life-views-and-experiences/ https://www.nu.edu/blog/ai-statistics-trends/ https://builtin.com/artificial-intelligence/risks-of-artificial-intelligence dangers https://www.unicef.org/innocenti/generative-ai-risks-and-opportunities-children https://techcrunch.com/2025/07/21/72-of-u-s-teens-have-used-ai-companions-study-finds/ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    38 mins
  • The Stories We Tell About Each Other: Shaping Healthy Narratives in Marriage

    The Stories We Tell About Each Other: Shaping Healthy Narratives in Marriage
    Sep 10 2025
    Transform your marriage by understanding how the stories you tell about your partner's Enneagram type literally create your relationship reality. Marriage coach Christa dives deep into the psychology of narrative and reveals how negative internal stories become self-fulfilling prophecies that either invite growth or trigger defensiveness in your spouse. Discover the neuroscience behind why focusing on your partner's growth edges blinds you to their gifts, and learn the "both/and" approach that separates challenging behaviors from core identity. Explore how every type's greatest strength and biggest struggle are intrinsically connected, why defensive responses actually prove negative narratives "right," and how shifting your internal narrative changes your partner's capacity to show up differently. Master the art of holding both truth and grace simultaneously - acknowledging real growth areas while honoring the positive intentions behind difficult behaviors. Essential listening for couples ready to move beyond toxic storytelling patterns and create narratives that see their partner's highest potential while maintaining healthy accountability. Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Begin your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    15 mins
  • Resting in Being Deeply Loved: How Empathy Transforms You w/Drs. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere, 1-2 Pairing

    Resting in Being Deeply Loved: How Empathy Transforms You w/Drs. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere, 1-2 Pairing
    Sep 8 2025
    Bill and Kristi Gaultiere discovered that before they could truly empathize with each other in marriage, they first needed to experience God's deep empathy for them. In this conversation, the Type 1 and Type 2 couple share how understanding their different Enneagram approaches to apologies and empathy transformed their relationship. They discuss practical calming exercises, breaking cycles of anger, and how each Enneagram type naturally blocks empathy. Bill and Kristi talk about their new book "Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God's Great Empathy for You" and share type-specific tools for building marriages where authentic connection feels safer than emotional withdrawal. Watch here on YouTube! "Reading this book is like sitting with close friends who truly get what you're going through."--Dr. Tim Clinton, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) "Bill and Kristi Gaultiere have provided an oasis of care in the 'empathy desert.'"--John Ortberg, teacher at BecomeNew; author of Steps Next Steps: Get the brand new book by the Gaultiere Deepy Loved right here: https://a.co/d/iGXog7V Find everything you need from Bill and Kristi here at Soul Shepherding https://www.soulshepherding.org/ Find Soul Shepherding at Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulshepherding/?hl=en Come on retreat with them! https://www.soulshepherding.org/institute/ Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Begin your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    42 mins
  • From Criticism to Connection w/FamilyLife Today's Dave and Ann Wilson, 7-7 Pairing

    From Criticism to Connection w/FamilyLife Today's Dave and Ann Wilson, 7-7 Pairing
    Sep 3 2025
    Join us for a heartwarming conversation with Dave and Ann Wilson, the beloved husband-and-wife team behind FamilyLife Today and former co-founders of Kensington Church in Michigan. As two Enneagram 7s married for over 40 years (and former Detroit Lions chaplains!), they share the beautiful chaos and hard-won wisdom of building lasting love when you're both wired for joy, adventure, and avoiding the hard stuff. We dive into Ann's new book "How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him," exploring the fascinating dynamics of criticism versus encouragement, what men actually hear when women express frustration, and how couples can break negative cycles while honoring their type patterns. Whether you're a fellow 7, married to one, or just curious about how personality shapes our closest relationships, this episode offers practical wisdom wrapped in the kind of hope and authenticity that makes marriage feel possible again. Watch on YouTube Get Ann's new book: https://a.co/d/a7Ok2NU Catch them on the Family Life Podcast! https://www.familylife.com/familylife-today/ Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    43 mins
  • Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Protest Behaviors from Destroying Your Marriage

    Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Protest Behaviors from Destroying Your Marriage
    Sep 1 2025
    Learn how to break destructive protest behavior cycles before they destroy your marriage! In Part 2 of the protest behaviors series, marriage therapy expert Christa Hardin explores why these patterns escalate from mild criticism or withdrawal to explosive fights and emotional shutdown. Discover childhood origins of each Enneagram type's specific protest strategies, from Type 8s who learned vulnerability was dangerous to Type 5s who learned people drain them. Learn general and type-specific ways to create emotional safety that prevents protesting, how to respond during protest episodes to de-escalate rather than inflame, and repair strategies that actually heal after damage occurs. Includes the escalation pattern most couples miss and practical tools for building marriages where direct communication feels safer than protesting. Watch on YouTube! Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Listen to Christa on The Allender Center Podcast here! Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    30 mins
  • The Hidden Drama: Why Protest Behaviors Sabotage Love

    The Hidden Drama: Why Protest Behaviors Sabotage Love
    Aug 27 2025
    Uncover the hidden drama sabotaging marriages everywhere! Marriage coach Christa explores protest behaviors - the unconscious patterns where spouses criticize, withdraw, create drama, or become passive-aggressive instead of directly communicating their needs. Discover why your partner acts out instead of speaking up through specific protest behaviors for each Enneagram type, from Type 1 criticism when feeling unappreciated to Type 9 passive resistance when feeling unheard. Learn why we protest instead of asking directly (fear, past rejection, learned patterns) and discover the "protest to request" translation guide that ends sabotage and creates real connection. Includes practical solutions for recognizing your own hidden drama patterns and responding to your partner's underlying needs rather than their difficult behavior. Watch on YouTube! Want to get healthy together as a couple this Fall? Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠ here! ⁠⁠⁠ Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    13 mins
  • From Dropout to Doctorate: A Marriage on a Mission w/Dr. Terence Lester and Cecilia Lester, 8-7 Pairing

    From Dropout to Doctorate: A Marriage on a Mission w/Dr. Terence Lester and Cecilia Lester, 8-7 Pairing
    Aug 25 2025
    Discover an extraordinary journey from gang violence and homelessness to a PhD and community leadership in today's pod! Dr. Terence Lester and his wife, Cecilia Lester share how he went from high school dropout living in his car to earning five degrees and becoming a powerful advocate for educational justice and how they, as a couple, have been helping those with debilitating trauma. This dynamic duo love in motion Type 8/7 marriage reveals how they channel their different energies into founding Love Beyond Walls nonprofit and fighting systemic barriers in education. Based on his book "From Dropout to Doctorate: Breaking the Chains of Educational Injustice," learn how a trauma-informed approach to helping those in dire need can transform lives and communities. How does a busy couple like this stay strong? Learn also how their marriage survives the demands of advocacy work. Perfect for you as you aim to get healthy for yourself and for those who desperately need your combined gifts, too. Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/ipNAK9cBy54 Get Terence's brand new book here on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Dropout-Doctorate-Breaking-Educational-Injustice/dp/1514011484 Get it on InterVarsity Press (IVP) website: https://www.ivpress.com/from-dropout-to-doctorate?srsltid=AfmBOortg_k40kfA45eBEUoWE_Y1G6TDPvHhpB8ujEL37J4ej6g-jI9H Find Terence 100K+ account here! https://www.instagram.com/imterencelester/?hl=en Want to get healthy together as a couple this Fall? Get early bird rates right here for your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠ here! ⁠⁠ Leave us a comment or question by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. (You can use your voice memos app on your phone to record). Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    51 mins