'Sixty seconds? It takes almost 60 seconds to say your name!' 'Oh, how very droll!' __

© The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

Impecunious : im-pih-KYOO-nee-uhs

‘Fancy a bite to eat?’ ‘I would, but I’m feeling rather… impecunious.’ ‘Impecunious? That sounds expensive.’ ‘On the contrary, my good man—you’ll find it a wise investment… one that will come back to you a hundredfold.’ ‘Oh, really? Another one of those meals, I see.’ _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

"Holy doghouse, Batman! This looks like a pet cemetery—with all these statues of dogs on the graves!’ ‘Not quite, Boy Wonder… you’re barking up the wrong tree.’ ‘Gosh—then what is it?’ ‘A mystery, Robin… and one worth uncovering.’ ‘Doggone, Batman, I have a lot to learn.’ ‘Don’t worry, old chum. This evening—after your hot milk and cookies—you can find out by tuning in to tonight’s broadcast of Enlarge Your Vocabulary!’ (dramatic music - and fade) _

© The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

Reading. For non-watermarked readings, contact: floydsvoice@gmail.com Henry Archibald Hertzberg Lawson (17th June 1867 – 2nd September 1922) was an Australian writer and bush poet. Henry Lawson is often referred to as Australia’s greatest short story writer. He was also a master of the bush ballad.

The Union Buries Its Dead In his usual style, Lawson gives us a clear-eyed look into the stark realities of early Australian bush life. Having lived it himself, he leaves no room for romanticism in this story. __

© The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floydsvoice@gmail.com

Meanwhile, at the headquarters of ‘We Get the Truth Inc’:

‘Chief, the algorithms are inconclusive. The lie detectors are baffled. We simply cannot be sure he’s telling the truth.’

A deathly silence fell across the room.

The Chief rose slowly. Steely-eyed. Stone-faced. Immovable.

In a low, determined voice, he said, ‘Send in the Gregorios Twins — Gregory and Gregoria.’

__ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

‘She has such a euphonious voice.’ ‘What? Nonsense — she has magical dulcet tones.’ ‘Blimey, next you’ll be telling me she has a sonorous voice.’ ‘You’re all wrong. Her voice is like honey to the ear — smooth, sweet and impossible to resist. In a word: mellifluous!’ __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

'I’m off to town, love.' 'Take care — it’s rough downtown nowadays.' 'No need to worry, dear. Big Brother has me — and everyone else — under surveillance. They’re always watching out for us.' 'Oh, yes, I forgot, aren’t they wonderful?' 'hmm.' __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.