
EP 89: Who Are You When No One is Watching? Dr. Shaheem
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What happens when you leave home and recreate your identity in a new place? How can you break free from people-pleasing patterns that no longer serve you? And what does it really take to design an authentic relationship that thrives long-term?
In this thought-provoking conversation, Dr. Shaheem draws from her extensive experience as a psychologist and researcher to explore the architecture of our identities and relationships. Having studied diaspora experiences and personality development across cultures, she offers a unique perspective on how we can deliberately design our lives rather than operating on autopilot.
The discussion introduces powerful concepts like "roaming" – moving through life with wrong programming installed by others – and explains how deepening self-awareness can become your secret weapon for navigating life's transitions. Dr. Shaheem challenges the quick-fix culture of social media advice, offering nuanced insights on everything from cultural adaptation to relationship dynamics.
Particularly illuminating is her evolution-not-revolution approach to personal change, especially for recovering people-pleasers. Rather than abruptly cutting people off (as often advised online), she suggests becoming a "people easer" who values their needs equally with others while maintaining genuine generosity. For relationships, she dismantles the myth of finding a perfect partner, instead describing love as a verb – something you choose daily – and relationships as third entities that require intentional nurturing.
Whether you're contemplating a major life change, struggling with career identity, or seeking more authentic connections, Dr. Shaheem’s wisdom provides a blueprint for redesigning your life at any stage. As she reminds us, "What gets you here may not get you there" – but with curiosity and deliberate design, you can create a life that generates joy rather than anxiety and depletion.
Ready to pull up your personal blueprint? Listen now and discover how to architect a life that truly reflects who you are.
Check out Dr. Shaheem here : https://www.instagram.com/drshaheem/
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