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 Have you ever thought about how Mary, the mother of Jesus felt on his 34th birthday? It is Christmas time and we celebrate the birth of Christ, the savior of the world. We talk about Mary, Joseph and the Immaculate Conception, the story of the birth in a manger in Bethlehem, we celebrate God becoming human to take on our sins.

Mary and Joseph were human parents excited for the arrival of their new baby. But as we all know, baby arrivals come with a gamut of emotions; Love, fear, hope, concern. Welcome to the Critical Junctures Podcast where we discuss the emotional impact of parents who have lost a child. This season of the year we celebrate Christmas and looking forward to what a new year will bring. We wish all of you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, but this season can create bouts of grief where we intensely miss our departed child. A few days ago I flew back to Indiana from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and while in flight I was listening to music on my headphones. A live version Song by Elevation Worship came on called Jireh.

It is about Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide. There's a line in the song that says I will be content in every circumstance. At first, when I heard it felt very powerful and satisfying to connect with those words. I'm very thankful for the people and all the blessings of my life. But as I listened to those words several times stating I will be content in every circumstance, that word every kept growing with importance.
I realized I'm not content in every circumstance. I believe with all my being, that I will be reunited with my son one day and live without hope, but as a father, as a human with emotions. Grief is a very real part of life. I miss my son every day. Navigating that grief at times can be challenging, especially around the holidays, and as much as I want to be content in every circumstance, it's challenging to get there.
It made me wonder what human emotions Mary, the mother of Christ felt on his 34th birthday. Mary was a human mother who lost a child like many of us. She was no longer able to physically touch her son, hug her son Mary. The revered mother of Christ would've had the same emotions and feelings that most of us experience.
That overwhelming grief that results from your flesh and blood taken away too soon. Most scholars believe Mary lived 11 years after Jesus' death. I believe Mary experienced the same enduring grief over those 11 years that we experience every day. Just like Mary, the grief can coexist with peace and contentment during this holiday season.
As you spend time with family and friends, here are some suggestions that might help ease the grief. My friend Dr. Wally Osuntokun, in an earlier episode talked about how he talks about his son in the present tense. You might set a place for them at the table, put a picture in a place of high visibility, play a positive memory on video that they're in.
For me, it has been helpful to face the grief with positive memories of my son. Some of you during this season will struggle with intense grief. Please do not do it alone. Reach out to family, friends, neighbors, a church, or a number of other great support organizations. Serving others during the holiday season can help reduce the feelings of grief.
Throughout this season, I'm going to be more intentional with the people I love the most. Prioritizing the people who are most important in my life. My hope and prayer is that you find peace this season, and if overwhelming grief strikes that you can embrace it, accept that it is normal, and focus the grief into loving memories of the time you spent with your child. We will be saying prayers as a family for all you parents who have lost a child. As we pray for you, we will gladly welcome prayers for us as we all navigate the loss of a child together.

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 Hello and welcome back to the Critical Junctures Podcast. Wanted to give you an update on what's been going on with the podcast, the last few weeks. We've taken a break with it just for some unexpected life events. Some of you may be aware, my youngest brother passed away and. That's just taken a lot of time that we've spent with family and helping with the arrangements as they were made and just projects that unexpectedly needed to be finalized.

Then my wife and I also have a long vacation that we've planned for a couple years. That takes us to a number of countries in Europe. So we decided to just take a break with the podcast and start back roughly toward the end of September. We'll be back on track to hopefully be every week. But just a couple of things we've really learned through this podcast is.

Just the depth of grief and hurt that you find with so many people, and some of 'em you look at and you wouldn't know how this grief has affected them, but every one of us that's lost a child is fully aware of that pain that you feel inside. And I've had a number of conversations with. Friends, acquaintances that we've discussed this podcast and how we could help others that are going through it.

And one big discovery was there are people that have been 10, 20, some of them even 30 plus years that have lost a child. And the grief is still incredibly challenging for them to even talk about it. And. So I really feel there's a an incredible need to continue these communications and interviews.

And we have a number of people lined up that will share their stories. And I think it's really important when you go through these, every single person. Has a significant amount of grief they carry in these and just in life in general. It has a lot of ups and there's a lot of great things to life and so many exciting things, and that's typically what people talk about.

You see the Instagram and Facebook posts of all the really great things that go on, and there are a lot of great things that go on in life. But what is much more challenging to not only talk about and express, but even to listen to, is all the challenges that come with just the uncertainty of life.

In a moment's notice life can be gone. I had a coworker that not too long ago went into the hospital. He was mid fifties and. It never came out and left a family and it was a medical condition that, again, no one's guaranteed of life. And so we're gonna really, again, continue to dive into these interviews with people and let them share their experience.

I really appreciated the people that have shared. Their depth of how they've opened up and been very transparent has, from comments that I've received back, have just been incredibly helpful that the stories they share, because some of 'em on the outside, you'd look at their families and you go.

They're just, that's what I'd like my family to be. And in many cases, yes, that is true. They are phenomenal people, but the depth of hurt, of the loss of a child is, it's staggering. And appreciate the continued support with this. And like I said, toward the end of September, we will get back on a schedule that's a weekly release.

And look forward to you guys joining us on this journey. Thank you.

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Chris Burton talks about the loss of his son Zach. Zach grew up playing sports and was an outstanding football player. He was loved by everyone and was a special young man. In college he and a friend tried oxycodone and became addicted. Some people have genes in their body that just trying a drug like oxycodone and it creates instant addiction.

Chris and his wife Jennifer along with their family started a foundation to help others that are going through addictions. Zach43foundation.com helps other people who have found themselves addicted to an opioid and they are raising awareness to overcome the stigma of an addition.

Zach was lost to an accidental overdose from a pill that had been laced with fentanyl.

Chris talks about the ways they remember Zach and all the special times they had together. Their family’s faith in God gives them an assurance that they will be together with Zach again. They experience God winks that let them know Zach is close.

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April Babcock lost her son Austen to illicit fentanyl. Illicit fentanyl is a deadly drug that most people taking it think they are taking something else. April share’s her story of being in such pain after the loss of her son that she did not want life to go on. After 18 months of intense grief and going to God for help she has taken her pain and made it into a purpose. She founded a group called Lost Voices of Fentanyl https://lvof.org .

She has made her life a mission to stop the supply of Fentanyl coming into the US from China and Mexico. Her Facebook group has over 36,000 member and they hold a rally in Washington, DC every year to push lawmakers into acting to stem the flow of fentanyl into the US. She has made it clear that she is fighting against fentanyl to save our children so that no other family has to suffer a loss like hers.

The grief, pain and loneliness of losing a child never goes away but turning that pain in to purpose young people’s lives are being saved. If you are interested in supporting Lost Voices of Fentanyl you can contact April at lvof.org.

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Tony & Kelly Trent discuss their journey of grief after the loss of their son Tyler to a rare bone cancer. Tyler’s story is unique in that his story went national. Tyler’s story has been told on TV, videos, articles and a book. He is still an inspiration to millions and his name and likeness continues to raise millions of dollars for pediatric cancer research through the Tyler Trent Foundation.

The Trent’s have been so thankful for all the care and love shown to their family. At the same time, they are grieving parents. Like all of us who have lost a child there is a grieving process that can take you to dark places in life. Tony and Kelly talk about the impacts the grief took on their personal lives and their family. Their willingness to candidly share their personal story of grief aligns with what so many of us have experienced. As Kelly say’s “grief is brutal”.

Grief is personal for each of us. The support people in life that show up in unexpected ways can help impact the recovery. Tony and Kelly, like most of us that have lost a child, are a work in progress on the recovery journey. Their story reflects the dichotomy of conflicting views that can both be true at the same time. An outside look at their life may view all the positives that have come as a result of Tyler’s journey, which is true. The other side that is also true, is the personal grief and pain that loss of Tyler has impacted on their family and personal life. That journey of grief has altered their lives forever.

Their story is inspiring that over time the strongest fundamental core values in life can guide you on the road to recovery. For the Trent’s; faith in God, marriage, their family and a mission to eradicate the cancer that took Tyler life have helped keep their focus on the most important things in life. The road to recovery is long and challenging with daily obstacles and grief that can smack you at any moment.

To learn more about the Tyler Trent Foundation go to https://tylertrentfoundation.com

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A father reflects on his son, who lived doing everything in life the right way. It was a reflection of a family that lived by faith, mission, purpose, hard work and love. A role model young man from a role model family and tragedy strikes through a medical condition.

Wale brings a unique perspective as a father and trained medical professional. Wale is a psychiatrist and his wife Ann is a pediatrician. Wale describes his son passing while on the phone with them in the middle of the night over 700 miles away. It was later discovered that Kayode passed from an undiagnosable deep vein thrombosis (DVT) that caused death, through a pulmonary embolism (PE).

Kayode was several months from finishing his master degree. He was a disciplined young man in mind, body and soul. He was working toward goals in life that encompassed a sense of purpose and impact larger than himself.

Wale discusses how their family bonds have helped them support each other as they work through the grief of losing Kayode. Family, friends, co-workers and a faith in Christ have helped in the recovery process. Navigating their grief is a work in progress for Wale and the entire family.