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 Have you ever thought about how Mary, the mother of Jesus felt on his 34th birthday? It is Christmas time and we celebrate the birth of Christ, the savior of the world. We talk about Mary, Joseph and the Immaculate Conception, the story of the birth in a manger in Bethlehem, we celebrate God becoming human to take on our sins.

Mary and Joseph were human parents excited for the arrival of their new baby. But as we all know, baby arrivals come with a gamut of emotions; Love, fear, hope, concern. Welcome to the Critical Junctures Podcast where we discuss the emotional impact of parents who have lost a child. This season of the year we celebrate Christmas and looking forward to what a new year will bring. We wish all of you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, but this season can create bouts of grief where we intensely miss our departed child. A few days ago I flew back to Indiana from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and while in flight I was listening to music on my headphones. A live version Song by Elevation Worship came on called Jireh.

It is about Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide. There's a line in the song that says I will be content in every circumstance. At first, when I heard it felt very powerful and satisfying to connect with those words. I'm very thankful for the people and all the blessings of my life. But as I listened to those words several times stating I will be content in every circumstance, that word every kept growing with importance.
I realized I'm not content in every circumstance. I believe with all my being, that I will be reunited with my son one day and live without hope, but as a father, as a human with emotions. Grief is a very real part of life. I miss my son every day. Navigating that grief at times can be challenging, especially around the holidays, and as much as I want to be content in every circumstance, it's challenging to get there.
It made me wonder what human emotions Mary, the mother of Christ felt on his 34th birthday. Mary was a human mother who lost a child like many of us. She was no longer able to physically touch her son, hug her son Mary. The revered mother of Christ would've had the same emotions and feelings that most of us experience.
That overwhelming grief that results from your flesh and blood taken away too soon. Most scholars believe Mary lived 11 years after Jesus' death. I believe Mary experienced the same enduring grief over those 11 years that we experience every day. Just like Mary, the grief can coexist with peace and contentment during this holiday season.
As you spend time with family and friends, here are some suggestions that might help ease the grief. My friend Dr. Wally Osuntokun, in an earlier episode talked about how he talks about his son in the present tense. You might set a place for them at the table, put a picture in a place of high visibility, play a positive memory on video that they're in.
For me, it has been helpful to face the grief with positive memories of my son. Some of you during this season will struggle with intense grief. Please do not do it alone. Reach out to family, friends, neighbors, a church, or a number of other great support organizations. Serving others during the holiday season can help reduce the feelings of grief.
Throughout this season, I'm going to be more intentional with the people I love the most. Prioritizing the people who are most important in my life. My hope and prayer is that you find peace this season, and if overwhelming grief strikes that you can embrace it, accept that it is normal, and focus the grief into loving memories of the time you spent with your child. We will be saying prayers as a family for all you parents who have lost a child. As we pray for you, we will gladly welcome prayers for us as we all navigate the loss of a child together.

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