In this deeply personal Relationship Rant, Christy shares the moment that quietly rewired her understanding of safety, harm, and belonging—not because of what was said, but because of how everyone else responded.
What happens when manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes?
What happens when harm is disguised as humour, spirituality, or “good intentions”?
And what happens inside the body when something isn’t right—but the room treats it like normal?
This episode explores how women are conditioned to mistrust themselves, especially within faith-based and marriage-centered environments that prioritize forgiveness, submission, and appearance over emotional safety and accountability.
We examine how silence in so-called safe spaces communicates more than words, why staying can make perfect sense within certain belief systems, how freeze responses show up before conscious understanding, and why forgiveness without repair keeps people stuck in harm.
This conversation isn’t anti-faith.
It isn’t anti-marriage.
And it isn’t about blaming individuals.
It’s about naming the systems that taught women to swallow truth, override intuition, and call self abandonment love—and what it looks like to finally choose a different kind of safety.
Contact Christy & Additional Resources:
www.coachchristyholt.com
Chapters:
00:00 — Trying to Do Marriage “Right”
Belonging, faith, and the pressure to be a good wife—even when it costs you yourself.
02:09 — A Gentle Content Note Before We Go Deeper
Relationship harm, religion, and how to care for yourself as you listen.
02:53 — The Comment That Changed Everything
When manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes—and why that silence matters.
04:54 — When the Body Knows Before the Mind
Freeze responses, intuition, and the moment something inside goes still.
07:12 — Why Staying Made Sense
Born sinner conditioning, marriage idolization, and the erosion of self trust.
09:27 — We Share to Test for Safety
What silence in “safe spaces” actually communicates about whose comfort matters.
11:35 — Forgiveness Without Repair
Bad advice, prayer as deflection, and the harm of spiritual bypassing.
14:52 — Anger, Purity Culture, and the Submissive Wife
How women were taught to swallow truth, suppress anger, and call it love.
17:11 — “If You Feel Disconnected, Put Out More”
Sexual obligation, consent, and why emotional safety can’t be negotiated.
19:17 — God Is Not an Excuse for Avoiding Accountability
Faith versus responsibility in relationships—and why the two are not opposites.
20:59 — A Different Kind of Safety
Reclaiming self trust, honouring intuition, and refusing self abandonment.
🎶 Music Credit:
“Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO
Dec 16 202523 mins
May 31 202512 mins