What if the real problem isn't being alone, but feeling alone when someone's standing right in front of you?

In this powerful conversation, we're diving deep into one of the most misunderstood emotions: loneliness. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis just returned from an incredible journey through Europe, and they're sharing fresh insights about what loneliness actually is, why it's so damaging to our health, and most importantly—what actually helps.

Here's what might surprise you: the solution to loneliness isn't being around more people. In fact, you can feel most lonely in a crowded room, at a family dinner, or even lying next to your spouse.

This episode will help you understand why relational absence is far more painful than geographical absence, and how the "still face" we give each other—even unintentionally—creates chronic pain that affects our marriages, parenting, and overall wellbeing.

You'll hear a jaw-dropping story about a dad who went home from a Connection Codes event and used one simple tool (the "ooh") to transform his child's middle-of-the-night meltdowns from 45 minutes of chaos to 2 minutes of connection. This is the power of being emotionally present instead of just physically present.

Key Topics:

- Why loneliness is more damaging to your health than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day

- The difference between geographical absence and relational absence

- How the "still face experiment" reveals what we're all experiencing in our relationships

- Why going to a hotel alone can feel better than being home with your family

- The chronic loneliness of modern parenting and partnership

- How to identify loneliness when it's hiding beneath anger and frustration

- What your brain actually needs when loneliness fires (hint: it's not a crowd)

- Practical tools to move from isolation to genuine connection

This episode is for you if:

- You feel exhausted doing everything by yourself even though people are around

- You'd rather be alone than feel alone with your family

- You're experiencing chronic irritation and don't know why

- You want to stop the cycle of loneliness in your home

- You're ready to understand what your emotions are actually telling you

The Connection Codes aren't just theory—they're tools that work immediately when you implement them. Whether you're a parent trying to connect with your kids, a spouse feeling disconnected, or someone navigating the holiday season with a deep sense of isolation, this episode will give you clarity and actionable steps forward.

Resources Mentioned:

- The Still Face Experiment- Connection Codes events in Europe

- Cincinnati event testimonials

- Upcoming 2026 events

Ready to go deeper?

Get the Core Emotion Wheel - The foundational tool for processing emotions and creating connection www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Book a Connection Codes Certified Coach - Work one-on-one with someone trained in these tools https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Want to bring Connection Codes to your church, business, or organization? Email us! We're booking events for 2026 and would love to come to your community.

Keywords: loneliness, emotional health, mental health, marriage communication, parenting tools, emotional regulation, connection, isolation, relationship advice, family therapy, chronic loneliness, emotional intelligence, still face experiment, authentic vulnerability, emotional presence, marriage help, parenting struggles, mental wellness, emotional awareness, relational connection

Episode Description:What if one vulnerable conversation could completely transform your marriage? Dan Purcell, marriage intimacy coach and creator of the Intimately Us app, shares the pivotal moment when a friend's honesty about his sex life turned Dan's world upside down—and ultimately changed the trajectory of his marriage and career.In this raw and honest conversation, Dan opens up about growing up in a conservative environment where sex was taboo, the anxiety that carried into his marriage, and the courage it took to have a five-hour vulnerable conversation with his wife at 9 PM that didn't end until 2 AM. What emerged wasn't just better sex—it was better communication, better parenting, and a completely different level of connection.Glenn and Phyllis explore with Dan the common barriers that keep couples from experiencing rich intimacy, the danger of viewing yourself as superior to your spouse, and why solving sexual problems requires "second-order change"—not just redecorating the kitchen, but remodeling it entirely.Key Topics:- Mental health and emotional vulnerability in marriage- Breaking through sexual shame and conservative upbringings- The courage required for authentic conversations about intimacy- Desire discrepancy and what really causes it- How superiority thinking destroys sexual connection- Moving from transactional to transformational intimacy- The power of one vulnerable conversation to change everything- Creating play and creativity in your sex life- Leadership development through emotional honestyWhat You'll Learn:- Why most couples miss on authentic connection (even when they think they're doing fine)- How to have the scary conversation that could transform your marriage- The real reason behind sexual desire discrepancy (hint: it's not about being too busy)- Why solution-oriented approaches often backfire in intimacy- How to move from wearing masks to true vulnerability with your spouse- Practical tools and games to bring playfulness back to foreplayAbout Our Guest: Dan Purcell is a marriage intimacy coach who helps couples create deeper sexual and emotional connection. After a career-changing conversation eight years ago, he developed the Intimately Us app and now coaches couples full-time, helping them experience breakthrough moments in their marriages.Get your free resources: getyourmarriageon.com/connection-codes- 100 Creative Ways to Initiate Sex guide- 101 Ways to Have Sex guide- Jump Start Guide (books, articles, podcasts, frameworks)Get Your Free Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastReady to Transform Your Marriage? Book a Connection Codes certified coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Episode Description: What happens when both you and your partner are flooded with emotion at the same time? In this behind-the-scenes conversation, Tera Wages and Elijah Runyan (Director of Coaching at Connection Codes) get honest about the messy middle of learning emotional connection tools—and why it's worth pushing through. Elijah shares his journey from nervous breakdown to breakthrough, including the moment his wife stopped mid-conversation and said, "I don't know what's happening right now. What is going on?" He also reveals the phrase that transformed their dynamic: "It's okay for it to hurt for you and it's also okay for it to hurt for me."Whether you're navigating holiday gatherings with triggering family members or trying to figure out why your spouse keeps trying to fix instead of listen, this episode gives you practical language and permission to exist alongside your partner's emotions.

In This Episode:00:00 – Why team conversations become podcasts01:28 – Elijah's story: finding Connection Codes during a rough season04:13 – The first time Elijah "ooh'd" his wife (and her shocked response)06:24 – "It was better before"—was it really?08:17 – Opening Pandora's box: why it gets messier first11:06 – Communicating through your pain vs. communicating your pain14:44 – Why your partner tries to fix you (the logistics revelation)17:10 – When both partners have emotions at the same time20:10 – "I don't want to cause you pain"—the hidden block to vulnerability23:34 – "I have a right to exist"—and so does your partner26:53 – When there's no "fix"—just holding space for mutual hurt30:48 – Applying this to family, kids, and holiday gatherings32:39 – What to say when someone's communicating through emotion34:15 – Elijah's Core Emotion Wheel check-in

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, relationship tools, mental health awareness, communication skills, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, couples therapy alternative, leadership development, holiday stress, family relationships

Resources Mentioned:Get the Core Emotion Wheel (free): www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about School of Connection: connectioncodes.co

Get Connected:Website: www.connectioncodes.coInstagram: @connectioncodesElijah Runyan's Website: runyanstronghealth.comElijah on Instagram: @elijahjrunyan

What happens when a pastor discovers he's been missing his wife emotionally for years—not from lack of love, but from lack of tools?In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn Hill sits down with Friedemann Pache, a Connection Codes certified coach from Germany, to discuss his transformation from emotional shutdown to vulnerable connection. Friedemann shares the raw truth about his 18-year marriage, his journey through pastoral ministry where he learned to ignore his body's signals, and the moment he realized he didn't know how to share emotions despite wanting deep connection with his wife, Katarina.

This episode reveals:

• How childhood patterns of "keeping yourself shut" create loneliness in marriage
• Why most men struggle with emotional language (and the simple tool that changes everything)
• The surprising way shame can be your ally, not your enemy
• How Friedemann's 50-year-married parents did the Core Emotion Wheel for the first time—and what happened when decades of unspoken pain finally found words
• Practical steps for bringing emotional health to your church, family, and community

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, pastoral burnout, emotional intimacy, relationship transformation, men and emotions, communication in marriage, emotional vocabulary, vulnerability in leadership, mental health for pastors, marriage counseling, emotional connection tools, overcoming loneliness in marriage, healthy relationships, faith and mental health

What You'll Learn:

• The difference between being present and being emotionally present
• How to create safety for yourself with your own emotions
• Why your body holds emotion and what happens when you ignore it
• The four-step process for deeper connection (even after 50 years of marriage)
• How to introduce emotional health tools to resistant family members or church communities

Featured Guest: Friedemann Pache is a Connection Codes certified coach based in Lüneburg, Germany. After 16 years in pastoral ministry, he now helps German-speaking individuals and couples discover emotional health and authentic connection. He's married to Katarina for 18 years, father to two teenagers, and is passionate about bringing the Connection Codes methodology to Europe.

Resources Mentioned:

• Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Connect with Friedemann: contact@c-momente.de | www.c-momente.de
• Connection Codes Programs: Foundations Masterclass, Clarity Reset, Late Night- School of Connection Coaching Certification

Join the Connection Codes Community: This podcast is for anyone tired of surface-level relationships and ready for emotional health that actually transforms your marriage, parenting, and leadership. Get your free Core Emotion Wheel and start your journey today.

Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people who need these tools for emotional connection and mental health.

Episode Description:What starts with downloading a simple emotion wheel? For Annemiek Vernhout, it sparked a complete transformation—in her marriage, her parenting, and ultimately led her to bring Connection Codes to an entire country.In this powerful conversation recorded in the Netherlands, Annemiek shares her vulnerable journey from feeling emotionally disconnected and stuck in her head to becoming a Connection Codes coach who hosted a groundbreaking event that impacted 70 people in one day.In this episode, you'll discover:- Why recognizing emotions (not just feeling them) changes everything in relationships- The common mistake parents make when responding differently than their spouse—and what to do instead- How fear almost stopped Annemiek from asking for what she needed most- Why "a new way of living" feels weird at first (and why that's completely normal)- The difference between processing emotions through journaling versus using the Core Emotion Wheel- How to help your kids recognize emotions without forcing them to "do the wheel"- What happens when you lead with emotion instead of logistics in difficult conversations- Why anger isn't your enemy—it's the fuel that helps you accomplish hard things- The micro moments that matter: Thursday night dinners vs. the macro vision of city-wide changeKey Topics: emotional intelligence, emotional processing, marriage communication, parenting with emotional awareness, overcoming fear, vulnerability in relationships, connection in marriage, emotional regulation, mental health tools, leadership development, taking risks, processing emotions, family dynamics, emotional literacyThis episode is for you if:- You feel more in your head than your heart- Your marriage is "fine" but you want deeper connection- You're tired of only talking about logistics with your spouse- You want your kids to be emotionally intelligent- You have a fear of asking for help or sharing your needs- You sense there's a better way to live but don't know where to startResources Mentioned:- Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast- Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches- Foundations Masterclass: www.connectioncodes.co/foundations- Visit www.connectioncodes.nl to connect with AnnemiekAbout Annemiek Vernhout:Annemiek is a Connection Codes coach based in the Netherlands. Married to Bastiaan for 14 years with a 12-year-old son Nathan, she discovered Connection Codes through a Facebook message two years ago. This summer, she became a certified coach and recently hosted Connection Codes' first major event in the Netherlands, impacting 70 people in one day. She has a heart for teaching and bringing emotional connection tools to her community and beyond.

What happens when you've spent a lifetime being silent—and suddenly, you can't do it anymore?

In this powerful conversation, Connection Codes coach Laurel Simpson shares the moment that changed everything: a walk with her husband John where she realized she had to rebel against the silence that was suffocating her marriage and her mental health.

After years of caretaking her mom through Alzheimer's, living in chronic dysregulation, and navigating her husband's anger while drowning in her own fear, Laurel reached a breaking point. The phrase that haunted her since childhood—"shut up, shut down, shut off"—was no longer sustainable.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The moment Laurel decided to rebel against emotional silence and what gave her the courage to finally speak up
• Why anger was shutting her down and how she learned to navigate it in her marriage
• The phrase that changed everything: "I have fear in sharing this, but..." and how it transformed her relationship with John
• How to do "one brave thing every day" and why it's more powerful than you think
• Why Connection Codes training isn't just for coaches—it's for anyone who wants to become a better human
• The difference between eliminating fear and processing through fear to take brave action
• How to recognize when you're living in chronic dysregulation and what to do about it
• Why we're not designed to suffer in silence—and how to get back to your authentic voice

For couples navigating crisis, individuals feeling voiceless in their relationships, or anyone who's been told to "shut up" their entire life—this episode is for you.

Laurel demonstrates the Core Emotion Wheel and shares her current experience with grief, transition, and the ongoing work of staying connected to herself and others.

Keywords: emotional health, mental health podcast, marriage communication, breaking emotional silence, chronic dysregulation, processing emotions, finding your voice, relationship healing, emotional safety, nervous system regulation, marriage after trauma, caregiver burnout, emotional processing, healthy relationships, leadership through vulnerability

Resources mentioned:

• Connection Codes Foundations Course
• School of Connection (8-week program starting September 30th)
• Connection Codes Coaching Cohort

Ready to get started?

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Find Laurel Simpson on the Connection Codes website under "All Coaches" (https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches)

What happens when a simple email about work scripts triggers a complete relationship nosedive? In this raw, unfiltered episode, we witness Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill work through an actual conflict from the day before—and discover how identity loss was at the root of their disconnect.

This isn't theory. This is real marriage work happening in real-time.

You'll discover:

• Why the first 60 seconds of conflict can determine your entire day
• How "being the workhorse" or "the fixer" can destroy emotional connection
• The difference between acknowledging pain vs. trying to fix it (and why one creates intimacy while the other creates distance)
• Why logistics never matter (and what actually does)
• How to identify when you've tuned out fear to maintain your identity
• The surprising reason why saying "you don't have to do it all" can strip someone of their identity
• Real tools for repair when you've already spiraled into disconnection

Key Timestamps:

• 3:12 - The conflict begins: How a missed acknowledgment triggered everything
• 18:05 - Identifying the first unprocessed emotion (the make-or-break moment)
• 26:10 - The workhorse identity: Why "getting things done" becomes self-destructive
• 39:02 - The validation breakthrough: What acknowledgment actually does
• 47:08 - Walking through the Core Emotion Wheel together

This episode is essential for:

• Couples who keep having the "same fight" in different packaging
• Leaders carrying identity roles that no longer serve them
• Anyone who's been called "the strong one" and wonders why they feel so exhausted
• Parents navigating empty nest transitions or career changes
• Anyone who feels unseen in their closest relationships

Resources Mentioned:

Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Work with a certified Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Explore the School of Connection for deep-dive marriage transformation

Topics: marriage conflict resolution, emotional health in relationships, identity crisis in marriage, emotional processing, leadership and emotional intelligence, relationship repair, overcoming disconnection, mental health in marriage, core emotions, validation in relationships

Episode 188: Identity Over Truth - Why We're All Desperate to Be Seen

In this powerful episode, Tera Wages and Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explore why humans prioritize identity over truth—and how this fundamental need shapes everything from our marriages to the polarizing world we see online.

What You'll Learn:

• Why identity is your #1 human need (backed by the Still Face Experiment)
• The 5 critical questions your brain is constantly asking
• How identity loss makes us do things we'd never recommend to others
• Why "calling someone back to truth" never works in relationships
• The real reason people stay in lower-paying jobs (it's not about money)
• How to recognize when someone is losing identity—and what to do instead
• Why the "us vs them" narrative is more dangerous than you think
• Practical tools to give identity instead of stripping it away

Key Topics Covered:

• Emotional health and regulation
• Marriage communication and conflict resolution
• Leadership development and team culture
• Mental health and depression
• Identity formation and validation
• Connection vs disconnection
• Emotional intelligence in relationships
• Workplace culture and employee retention

Resources:

• Get the FREE Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Learn about Connection Codes training for businesses and leaders: https://connectioncodes.co/at-work

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Follow Connection Codes:Instagram: @connectioncodesFacebook: Connection CodesWebsite: www.connectioncodes.co