Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis dive into the powerful interplay between vulnerability and safety in relationships. Drawing from personal stories, cultural examples, and decades of work with Connection Codes, they unpack how many of us were raised to silence emotions—and how this creates barriers to intimacy. The hosts explore why vulnerability is not weakness but the very act that creates safety, and how micro-moments of authentic sharing lay the foundation for trust. With practical insights, like using the Core Emotion Wheel and reframing fear, this conversation equips you to transform your relationships into safe spaces where real connection can thrive

Chapters:

- 00:00:00 - TV shows and vulnerability

- 00:01:20 - Introducing core concepts

- 00:04:51 - Childhood lessons on suppression

- 00:07:51 - The vulnerability paradox

- 00:11:12 - Unfamiliar territory

- 00:15:30 - Foundation-building moments

- 00:19:24 - Recognizing safe people

- 00:23:30 - Fear vs. safety

- 00:28:39 - Everyday vulnerability

- 00:35:26 - The cab story

- 00:41:42 - Authenticity without guarantees

- 00:47:35 - Losing and finding relationships

- 00:53:01 - The Core Emotion Wheel

- 00:58:04 - Starting your journey

Links and Resources:

- https://connectioncodes.co/

- https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew

- https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships-ebook/dp/B093TLDT71

In this episode Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis take on one of the most misunderstood and weaponized words in relationships: forgiveness. They unpack why simply saying “I forgive you” rarely brings peace, and how unprocessed pain lingers in the body long after conflict. Through personal stories, faith reflections, and the practical tools of the Connection Codes, they reveal why true healing comes through release—acknowledging, voicing, and processing hurt in safe spaces. Listeners will learn how to move beyond judgment, create authentic emotional connection, and experience freedom without erasing their pain or enabling harmful dynamicsChapters:

• 00:00:00 - Setting the Stage for Authentic Healing
• 00:02:09 - Rethinking Forgiveness: Moving Beyond Traditional Approaches
• 00:04:26 - How Forgiveness Gets Weaponized in Relationships
• 00:11:04 - The Compassionate Truth About Forgiveness in Faith
• 00:15:47 - Creating Safety to Process Pain Together
• 00:29:34 - Why Simply Saying "I Forgive You" Doesn't Heal the Hurt
• 00:36:53 - Embracing Emotions as Pathways to Deeper Connection
• 00:47:42 - Real-Life Example: Using the Emotion Wheel in Relationships
• 00:54:55 - Practical Next Steps for Your Relationship Journey

Links and Resources:

- Connection Codes Emotion Wheel - https://connectioncodes.co/wheel-download

- Connection Codes Book - https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships/dp/B093QCHZ76

- Become a Connection Codes Coach - https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching#certifiedcoachingtopofhome

In this vulnerable and empowering conversation, host Tera Wages sits down with Ally Bullock — licensed marriage and family therapist, Head of Relationships at Paired, and creator of Relationships with Ally. Together, they unpack the realities of sex and intimacy after parenting. From mismatched desire and the weight of invisible labor, to the science behind stress and sexual satisfaction, Ally shares practical strategies couples can use to reconnect. Listeners will hear real-life stories, expert insights, and powerful tools — like co-regulation rituals, responsive desire reframes, and scheduling intimacy — that can transform the way partners approach connection in the busiest seasons of life.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast
• 00:00:27 - Meet Aly Bullock
• 00:01:50 - 45% of parents report less intimacy
• 00:03:58 - Aly's Background: A marriage and family therapist with the Paired app
• 00:05:48 - Aly's Personal Story: Marriage, three kids, and "chaotic" life
• 00:07:28 - How does sex change after kids?
• 00:08:13 - Why Intimacy Decreases
• 00:09:00 - Feeling "touched out" after 10 years of pregnancy/nursing
• 00:10:17 - Desire Types: Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained
• 00:12:55 - Use a shared note to "brain dump" the mental load
• 00:15:47 - Reframing Expectations: Embrace a new normal post-kids
• 00:17:45 - Why to Schedule Sex
• 00:19:06 - Study: A mother's stress predicts lower sexual satisfaction for both partners
• 00:20:00 - A New Approach: Schedule "intimacy time," not just sex
• 00:24:08 - A Moment of Empathy: Tera's husband experiences overstimulation
• 00:25:37 - Tip for Overstimulation: Co-regulation with back-to-back breathing
• 00:28:03 - Use AirPods with relaxing music during sex
• 00:28:53 - Study: Small, daily intimate acts boost satisfaction
• 00:30:18 - Identity Matters
• 00:31:21 - Tip on Identity: Separate your "parent" and "partner" roles
• 00:32:21 - Intimacy can get better with time
• 00:41:41 - Recap: A summary of the episode's key tips
• 00:42:13 - Resource: The Paired app's "Recharge Your Sex Life" course
• 00:42:57 - How to Connect with Aly

Links and Resources:

• Relationship with Aly Website:

• • Aly on Instagram
  • Aly on ⁠LinkedIn⁠:⁠ Aly Bullock
  • Get Paired at 25% off: http://www.paired.com/alypodcast
  • Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  • Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  • Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠