Episode Description: What happens when both you and your partner are flooded with emotion at the same time? In this behind-the-scenes conversation, Tera Wages and Elijah Runyan (Director of Coaching at Connection Codes) get honest about the messy middle of learning emotional connection tools—and why it's worth pushing through. Elijah shares his journey from nervous breakdown to breakthrough, including the moment his wife stopped mid-conversation and said, "I don't know what's happening right now. What is going on?" He also reveals the phrase that transformed their dynamic: "It's okay for it to hurt for you and it's also okay for it to hurt for me."Whether you're navigating holiday gatherings with triggering family members or trying to figure out why your spouse keeps trying to fix instead of listen, this episode gives you practical language and permission to exist alongside your partner's emotions.

In This Episode:00:00 – Why team conversations become podcasts01:28 – Elijah's story: finding Connection Codes during a rough season04:13 – The first time Elijah "ooh'd" his wife (and her shocked response)06:24 – "It was better before"—was it really?08:17 – Opening Pandora's box: why it gets messier first11:06 – Communicating through your pain vs. communicating your pain14:44 – Why your partner tries to fix you (the logistics revelation)17:10 – When both partners have emotions at the same time20:10 – "I don't want to cause you pain"—the hidden block to vulnerability23:34 – "I have a right to exist"—and so does your partner26:53 – When there's no "fix"—just holding space for mutual hurt30:48 – Applying this to family, kids, and holiday gatherings32:39 – What to say when someone's communicating through emotion34:15 – Elijah's Core Emotion Wheel check-in

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, relationship tools, mental health awareness, communication skills, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, couples therapy alternative, leadership development, holiday stress, family relationships

Resources Mentioned:Get the Core Emotion Wheel (free): www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about School of Connection: connectioncodes.co

Get Connected:Website: www.connectioncodes.coInstagram: @connectioncodesElijah Runyan's Website: runyanstronghealth.comElijah on Instagram: @elijahjrunyan

What happens when a pastor discovers he's been missing his wife emotionally for years—not from lack of love, but from lack of tools?In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn Hill sits down with Friedemann Pache, a Connection Codes certified coach from Germany, to discuss his transformation from emotional shutdown to vulnerable connection. Friedemann shares the raw truth about his 18-year marriage, his journey through pastoral ministry where he learned to ignore his body's signals, and the moment he realized he didn't know how to share emotions despite wanting deep connection with his wife, Katarina.

This episode reveals:

• How childhood patterns of "keeping yourself shut" create loneliness in marriage
• Why most men struggle with emotional language (and the simple tool that changes everything)
• The surprising way shame can be your ally, not your enemy
• How Friedemann's 50-year-married parents did the Core Emotion Wheel for the first time—and what happened when decades of unspoken pain finally found words
• Practical steps for bringing emotional health to your church, family, and community

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, pastoral burnout, emotional intimacy, relationship transformation, men and emotions, communication in marriage, emotional vocabulary, vulnerability in leadership, mental health for pastors, marriage counseling, emotional connection tools, overcoming loneliness in marriage, healthy relationships, faith and mental health

What You'll Learn:

• The difference between being present and being emotionally present
• How to create safety for yourself with your own emotions
• Why your body holds emotion and what happens when you ignore it
• The four-step process for deeper connection (even after 50 years of marriage)
• How to introduce emotional health tools to resistant family members or church communities

Featured Guest: Friedemann Pache is a Connection Codes certified coach based in Lüneburg, Germany. After 16 years in pastoral ministry, he now helps German-speaking individuals and couples discover emotional health and authentic connection. He's married to Katarina for 18 years, father to two teenagers, and is passionate about bringing the Connection Codes methodology to Europe.

Resources Mentioned:

• Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Connect with Friedemann: contact@c-momente.de | www.c-momente.de
• Connection Codes Programs: Foundations Masterclass, Clarity Reset, Late Night- School of Connection Coaching Certification

Join the Connection Codes Community: This podcast is for anyone tired of surface-level relationships and ready for emotional health that actually transforms your marriage, parenting, and leadership. Get your free Core Emotion Wheel and start your journey today.

Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people who need these tools for emotional connection and mental health.

Episode Description:What starts with downloading a simple emotion wheel? For Annemiek Vernhout, it sparked a complete transformation—in her marriage, her parenting, and ultimately led her to bring Connection Codes to an entire country.In this powerful conversation recorded in the Netherlands, Annemiek shares her vulnerable journey from feeling emotionally disconnected and stuck in her head to becoming a Connection Codes coach who hosted a groundbreaking event that impacted 70 people in one day.In this episode, you'll discover:- Why recognizing emotions (not just feeling them) changes everything in relationships- The common mistake parents make when responding differently than their spouse—and what to do instead- How fear almost stopped Annemiek from asking for what she needed most- Why "a new way of living" feels weird at first (and why that's completely normal)- The difference between processing emotions through journaling versus using the Core Emotion Wheel- How to help your kids recognize emotions without forcing them to "do the wheel"- What happens when you lead with emotion instead of logistics in difficult conversations- Why anger isn't your enemy—it's the fuel that helps you accomplish hard things- The micro moments that matter: Thursday night dinners vs. the macro vision of city-wide changeKey Topics: emotional intelligence, emotional processing, marriage communication, parenting with emotional awareness, overcoming fear, vulnerability in relationships, connection in marriage, emotional regulation, mental health tools, leadership development, taking risks, processing emotions, family dynamics, emotional literacyThis episode is for you if:- You feel more in your head than your heart- Your marriage is "fine" but you want deeper connection- You're tired of only talking about logistics with your spouse- You want your kids to be emotionally intelligent- You have a fear of asking for help or sharing your needs- You sense there's a better way to live but don't know where to startResources Mentioned:- Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast- Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches- Foundations Masterclass: www.connectioncodes.co/foundations- Visit www.connectioncodes.nl to connect with AnnemiekAbout Annemiek Vernhout:Annemiek is a Connection Codes coach based in the Netherlands. Married to Bastiaan for 14 years with a 12-year-old son Nathan, she discovered Connection Codes through a Facebook message two years ago. This summer, she became a certified coach and recently hosted Connection Codes' first major event in the Netherlands, impacting 70 people in one day. She has a heart for teaching and bringing emotional connection tools to her community and beyond.