Is people-pleasing running your life? In this episode, I walk you through a powerful coaching process I used with a client named Liz who was exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy. We unpack the roots of her people-pleasing instinct, personify it using the lens of Internal Family Systems, and tap into the Wise Self to reclaim autonomy and authentic decision-making.

You’ll learn:

• Why people pleasing is ancient (and not your fault)
• How to create space between you and the urge to say "yes"
• What to say to your inner people pleaser—out loud
• And how to choose actions from clarity, not fear

Timestamps
00:30 – Welcome + intro to Liz’s people-pleasing exhaustion
01:54 – Inside Out & Internal Family Systems (IFS) explained
04:30 – Why people pleasing evolved (and why it’s not all bad)
07:55 – Practicing what to say to your people-pleasing part
09:20 – The trap of reactionary rebellion vs. true autonomy
11:16 – Uncovering what really matters to you
16:03 – Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation and anxiety relief
20:55 – Kindness Narrative: A professor committed to growing his students

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/taming-the-people-pleaser-within

The secret to calming your anxiety isn’t about calming down, but about aiming smarter. In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of two real coaching sessions—one on social anxiety, one on test anxiety—to walk you through a powerful mindset shift that can dramatically reduce anxiety and increase your sense of control. You’ll learn how to spot the real goal your brain is using to evaluate your situation—and how to swap that goal for something that actually helps you feel calm, focused, and empowered. Whether your anxiety shows up in relationships, exams, or everyday decisions, this episode gives you a repeatable framework you can use any time things feel overwhelming.

Timestamps:
01:06 – Client story #1: Social anxiety, disconnection, and the “trapped” feeling
03:46 – The danger of having goals that you can't control
04:32 – How to reframe your goals to reduce anxiety
05:29 – Process goals vs. outcome goals: what’s the difference?
9:16 – Client story #2: Test anxiety and second-guessing
13:43 – How to apply this to your stress
16:03 – Kindness narrative: A message from Mom

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/why-your-goals-might-be-fueling-your-anxiety

You’ve tried breathing. You’ve tried journaling. But your body is still in full-on panic mode. This episode is for the moments when anxiety feels physical, overwhelming, and out of control. I’ll teach you a powerful strategy rooted in psychology and personal experience. Learn how to stop fueling the anxiety spiral and how to apply this skill in the middle of a sleepless night or a high-stakes performance.

You’ll learn:
• Why physical anxiety symptoms persist—and how to respond differently
• What chronic pain researchers teach us about emotional suffering
• The counterintuitive power of saying “yes” to how you feel
• Ways to practice this skill before you need it

Timestamps
00:30 – When the anxiety won’t go away
02:51 – Example 1: Nighttime panic
04:48 – “I’m terrified—and that’s okay”: using full-body emotional surrender
08:02 – What chronic pain science teaches us about anxiety
10:31 – Example 2: Performance anxiety panic
17:08 – Practicing acceptance in low-stakes moments
19:06 – Kindness Narrative: A grandfather’s compassion for animals

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to calmyourcaveman@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-nothing-calms-you-down