💎 Work With Me Monthly 1:1 Coaching (weekly calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Major Transformational 1:1 Coaching + Voxer Access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💬 Join My Private Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💌 Grab Your FREE Boundaries Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 🎧 Related Episodes You’ll Love: The Grey Rock Method: How to Deal With a Narcissist https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 Finding True Friendship as an Adult https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-19-finding-true-friendship-as-an-adult/id1662241353?i=1000608356800 Filling Your Friendship Cup After Narcissistic Abuse https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-20-filling-your-friendship-cup-after-narcissistic-abuse/id1662241353?i=1000608950715 ---------------------------TRANSCRIPT------------------------------- Speaker 1 (00:03): Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:00) Friendships feel safe, or at least they should, right? They're supposed to be the soft place to land, but when your friend is a narcissist, that soft place can turn into a minefield. It's confusing because there's no romance, no shared bills, no legal ties. I mean, sometimes there can be shared bills if you're living with them, but in general, it's not as enmeshed as a romantic partner or lifelong partner that you're married to. So you think, shouldn't it be easier to leave? But not always. You've got shared history, the inside jokes, mutual friends is a big one, and narcissists love to weaponize all of that to keep you stuck, right? We talk about that sticky spider web. They keep you in. They're really good at keeping you in the sticky web. So let's talk first how to spot a narcissist friend. So there aren't just friends. (02:04) These aren't friends with bad days or just quirks, right? These are patterns. You're looking for patterns. So what kind of patterns? One, it's always about them. Even your big moments, they redirect the spotlight somehow back to them, right? Another one. Number two, one sided emotional labor. So maybe you are their therapist, their cheerleader, their 3:00 AM crisis hotline, but maybe they're not as there for you. Maybe when you're reaching out, they nowhere to be found, right? That's a big no. The other thing is subtle digs and jealousy. This is the third backhanded compliments, undermining your wins or straight up competing with you, right? Little jealous comments. Number four, boundary blindness. So they will blow up your phone till no one. They will say, oh, it's an emergency. Maybe when it's not really quite an emergency, they will ignore your no, or just show up uninvited because that's what they want to do. (03:21) Even sometimes after they've asked you and you've said no, right? So they're not really good at boundaries. Alright? Number five, the guilt trip. Queen or king, if it's a guy, friend of yours, this one is huge, okay? The guilt tripping, and they may make it jokey, they may make it subtle, but if you cancel plans or you do set boundaries, set limits in your relationship, you are the bad friend. And I had this happen to me. I asked one of my friends to please stop yelling at me that we were grown adults and I wasn't going to tolerate that and it wasn't handled well. So when you set boundaries and they go like, no, this either. This is just how I am. Deal with it, which is a response I got, or even twisting it and deflecting and turning it onto you, or you're being sensitive or whatever. (04:22) I'm not yelling. Look, bitch, I know what yelling is. Okay? All right. So why does it feel so hard to leave these relationships? It's not just the friendship. You are grieving when you are deciding to or going, no contact, cutting someone off, whatever you want to call it. It's this shared identity that you have, especially if this is someone you've been friends with for decades or new, just really got close quick. It's a newer friend, ...
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16 mins