Have you ever caught yourself thinking “What is wrong with them?” when you see challenging behaviour? Whether it’s a teenager shouting in public, a colleague snapping, or a parent glued to their phone while their child cries — we all judge. But what does this habit cost us, and what could happen if we replaced judgment with genuine curiosity? In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores how a trauma-informed, curiosity-driven approach can transform our practice as parents, teachers, and carers.

👉 Learn how stereotypes, confirmation bias, and fundamental attribution errors get in the way of understanding. 👉 Discover why being a better detective rather than a judge helps build trust, empathy, and change. 👉 Walk away with practical tools to rethink the narratives you carry about others — and even about yourself.

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• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

1️⃣ Judgment is a human survival mechanism — but in caregiving, it can become harmful if left unchecked. 2️⃣ Curiosity and trauma-informed thinking help us see the person rather than the behaviour. 3️⃣ Changing the words and labels we use can build empathy, trust, and genuine connection.

00:00 – Introduction: Why this episode might feel uncomfortable 01:44 – Why we judge: the social psychology of stereotypes 04:00 – The costs of labelling and missing the full story 06:00 – Fundamental Attribution Error and confirmation bias explained 08:48 – Halo/Horn effects & dehumanisation in care and education 11:00 – Real-life examples of misunderstood behaviour 12:30 – Moving from “what’s wrong with them?” to “what happened to them?” 13:45 – Practical reframes and curiosity-driven language 14:52 – Reflection: Who have you written off — and what might change if you got curious?

If you are a carer, teacher, parent, or anyone supporting others, this episode will help you challenge automatic judgments and rethink your approach to behaviour. You’ll gain practical, real-world strategies to build empathy, encourage growth, and connect with others on a deeper level.

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