Episodes

  • Trump Posts 2AM Seth Meyers Rant, Takes Victory Lap Over Cracker Barrel Logo

    Trump Posts 2AM Seth Meyers Rant, Takes Victory Lap Over Cracker Barrel Logo
    Aug 28 2025
    6 mins
  • Swift Justice: Taylor's Engagement, Detention Center Branding, and Flesh-Eating Parasites

    Swift Justice: Taylor's Engagement, Detention Center Branding, and Flesh-Eating Parasites
    Aug 27 2025
    Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's surprising blessing of the Swift-Kelce engagement, the administration's catchy new names for detention centers (from "Alligator Alcatraz" to "Cornhusker Clink"), Vanity Fair's staff meltdown over a potential Melania cover, JD Vance's creative take on World War Two history, and America's first case of screwworm - because nothing says "welcome to Twenty Twenty Five" like flesh-eating parasites and government trolling.
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    6 mins
  • Marc Maron Torches Bill Maher on Pod Save America as Hot ICE 'Agent Dumptruck' Goes Viral and Trump Threatens ABC & NBC

    Marc Maron Torches Bill Maher on Pod Save America as Hot ICE 'Agent Dumptruck' Goes Viral and Trump Threatens ABC & NBC
    Aug 26 2025
    Marc Maron took aim at Bill Maher on Pod Save America, calling him “desperate” and accusing him of chasing relevance at any cost. Meanwhile, ICE accidentally turned a routine arrest photo into the internet’s latest thirst trap, Donald Trump threatened to revoke ABC and NBC’s FCC licenses over “fake news,” and RFK Jr. is reportedly plotting a COVID-19 vaccine ban. All that and more with Patrick Gutfield.
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    6 mins
  • Cracker Barrel Rebrands, Trump Hates Fresh Sheets, and Ducks Defeat Detention

    Cracker Barrel Rebrands, Trump Hates Fresh Sheets, and Ducks Defeat Detention
    Aug 25 2025
    Cracker Barrel ditches grandma’s kitchen vibes for a sleek new logo, and the internet unleashes its full fury. Trump reportedly freaked out over clean sheets, locked his own bedroom door against the Secret Service, and possibly hides the Epstein Files under his mattress. MSNBC accuses him of ankle concealment, and the White House hilariously plays along. Meanwhile, a federal judge shuts down Florida’s “Alligator Alcatraz” detention center… because you can’t build a prison in a swamp and pretend it’s not federal.
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    7 mins
  • Trump Rides with the Troops, Kamala Hits the Road, and Solar Power Gets Fired

    Trump Rides with the Troops, Kamala Hits the Road, and Solar Power Gets Fired
    Aug 22 2025
    Trump patrols the streets of D.C. with the military and celebrates “law and order” with a Shake Shack run. Meanwhile, the Vice President launches a crackdown on sunlight, banning “Solar” in all-caps, and Kamala Harris embarks on a 15-city book tour that somehow includes London. Also: the State Department decides to re-vet 55 million visa holders just in case, and no, you still haven’t heard about the Epstein Files.
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    6 mins
  • Black Walls, Gold Offices, and Fake Windows: America, You’re Doing Great

    Black Walls, Gold Offices, and Fake Windows: America, You’re Doing Great
    Aug 21 2025
    Trump wants to paint the border wall black because it gets hot—just like science says—and Jack White has thoughts about the new Oval Office, which now resembles a pro wrestler’s dressing room designed by Liberace. Meanwhile, Delta and United are being sued for selling “window seats” that don’t come with actual windows. It’s a big week for style over substance, beige walls over actual views, and gold over good taste.

    From Washington, where even the planes are lying to you, this is Ballot.
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    6 mins
  • Trump Fights Museums, and Oklahoma Flunks the Constitution

    Trump Fights Museums, and Oklahoma Flunks the Constitution
    Aug 20 2025
    Donald Trump is furious that museums dare to talk about slavery, calling the Smithsonian “OUT OF CONTROL” and demanding more exhibits about “Success” and “Brightness.” Meanwhile, Oklahoma unveils a fifty-question anti-woke purity test for teachers that was cooked up by PragerU—because nothing says academic rigor like a quiz your uncle found on Facebook.
    Also: why Trump’s idea of “helping” Ukraine is basically cheerleading from 30,000 feet, and how one multiple-choice test thinks “In God We Trust” is in the Constitution. It’s a real day in America, folks.
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    6 mins
  • Trump Hosts Zelensky and the European All-Stars: Peace Talks, Nobel Calls, and MS NOW

    Trump Hosts Zelensky and the European All-Stars: Peace Talks, Nobel Calls, and MS NOW
    Aug 19 2025
    President Trump welcomes Ukrainian President Zelensky and top European leaders to the White House in a flashy attempt at diplomacy—no yelling this time! Trump pitches a Putin-Zelensky-Trump summit while Europe floats “Article Five-like” promises no one can define. Plus: Trump’s awkward Nobel Prize cold-call to Norway, and MSNBC’s wild corporate rebrand to “MS NOW.” Is peace on the table or just another TV special? And did someone say… Epstein files? All that and more, on Ballot.
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    6 mins