We’ve all told ourselves the lie: Once I get the job. Once I make the money. Once I leave that system… I’ll finally feel at peace.

But what happens when you actually hit the milestone and it still doesn’t fix the internal chaos?

In Part 1 of this conversation with author, speaker, and life + faith transitions coach Leslie Nease, we dig into the myth of arrival: that illusion that healing or clarity is just one big decision away.

We talk about:

• The identity unraveling that comes after leaving ministry or faith systems
• Why success doesn’t automatically equal emotional peace
• The burnout of performance culture inside and outside of church
• How grief shows up even when you’re doing “the right thing”
• The slow, awkward process of becoming someone new

Leslie shares how years of quiet inner work led her to a deeper, less polished version of healing and I share my own story of chasing career and spiritual milestones that didn’t deliver what I thought they would.

This part of the conversation sets the foundation and how we’re just telling the truth about how weird it feels when “getting better” doesn’t feel how you hoped.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Honoring the Journey by Leslie Nease: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJYNZJK3
• Leslie’s Coaching & Podcast: https://www.leslieneasecoaching.com

What kind of parent hates playing with their kids?

Apparently… me.

In this episode, I’m saying the quiet part out loud: I don’t like pretend play. I love my kids deeply, but crawling on the floor doing silly voices while holding a Barbie? It drains me. And if you’ve ever felt that guilt—the kind that creeps in when you say “not right now” or zone out halfway through a game—you’re not alone.

I talk about how my relationship with play and connection has changed over the years, especially as my kids have gotten older and I’ve gotten… tired. We dig into the pressure to be everything for your kids, how social media and shows like Bluey mess with our heads, and what it looks like to connect with your kids in ways that are actually sustainable.

You’ll hear what play looks like for me now—card games, Xbox, lawn mowing, watching Stranger Things, and saying “yes” to the stuff that feels real.

And of course, I wrap it all up with this week’s Caffeine & Coping segment featuring Sleep Token’s new album and—yes—Quaker rice cakes. Don’t judge me.

In this episode:

• The guilt of not wanting to play with your kids

• Why connection doesn’t have to look like pretend play

• The cultural pressure to be the “perfect parent”

• What showing up looks like in real life

• Caffeine & Coping: Sleep Token’s Even In Arcadia + the chaotic utility of rice cakes

This isn’t parenting advice. It’s just real talk from someone trying to stay present without burning out.

This week, I’m calling B.S. on one of adulthood’s biggest myths: work-life balance.

Because if balance means being calm, focused, and fully present at work and at home, I’ve never had it. Not when I was a cop, not when I worked in ministry, and definitely not now juggling remote work, parenting four kids, and trying not to lose my mind in a Walmart parking lot.

In this episode, I share:

• Why “balance” has never worked for me (and maybe never will)

• The emotional toll of always being on even when you’re technically “off”

• The guilt spiral that hits when you try to rest

• How I’m learning to redefine “enough” in a world that keeps moving the finish line

• A story about my wife’s recent car accident that shook everything up

• And why frozen fruit + Good Mythical Morning might just be my emotional support system right now

If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind before your day even starts or wondered why you’re so exhausted when you’re “doing everything right” this one’s for you.

PLUS: I’m testing out a new segment called Caffeine & Coping, where I share the little things keeping me semi-functional each week.

It’s not a self-help guide. It’s not a five-step plan.

It’s just me, trying to make sense of the mess out loud.

What happens when you stop believing the things that used to define you but you’re not sure what comes next?

In this raw conversation with David Hayward, aka NakedPastor, we unpack the messy middle of faith deconstruction: losing certainty, grieving community, rethinking marriage, and learning to be present in your own body again.

Whether you’re deep in the fog of religious doubt or just starting to question your beliefs, this episode is your reminder that you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

We talk about:

• Why growth isn’t a linear process

• Marriage and identity after leaving church

• Letting go of shame, certainty, and spiritual baggage

• How to rebuild rhythms that actually work for you

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• Paintings, Cartoons, Books & More

What if ADHD isn’t a fixed disorder but a response to a world that just isn’t built for our brains?

In this episode, I unpack what happened when I went back on Adderall after two years off and why it didn’t hit the same. I open up about the pressure to “function” post-job loss, and the unexpected emotional spiral that followed.

Then I dive into the recent New York Times article, “Have We Been Thinking About A.D.H.D. All Wrong?” and how it challenged the way I see ADHD not just in myself, but in my son too. We talk medication, masking, Minecraft meltdowns, and what it really means to create a safe environment for neurodivergent kids (and adults) to thrive.

NYT Article - "Have We Been Thinking About ADHD All Wrong?"

I’m 39 today.

And instead of pretending to have my life together, I’m celebrating the only way that makes sense: with a chaotic list of lessons, screwups, and random wisdom I’ve collected along the way.

From parenting fails to career faceplants to why adulthood is basically one long improv show...it’s all here.

Plus, stick around ‘til the end if you want a surprise birthday gift from me.

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You used to sneak into dressing rooms together to "try on clothes". Now you’re just hoping no one knocks on the door while you're having sex.

This episode is about sex after kids. What intimacy looks like when you’re touched out, exhausted, and parenting tiny chaos goblins who interrupt literally everything.

From high-drive spontaneity to calendar-based logistics, dry spells, mismatched desire, and redefining intimacy beyond just sex, Nic and Janna (married 19 years, 4 kids deep) get honest about how connection has changed for them.

We talk about:

• The death of spontaneity (and why that’s okay)

• How to reconnect when you’re mentally spiraling and physically tired

• The small non-sexual things that matter more than ever

• And how they keep choosing each other even when the spark feels dim

This isn’t a how-to guide. It’s a real, messy, occasionally hilarious convo about what it actually takes to stay close when life is full, kids are loud, and nobody has time to “set the mood.”

In this episode, Nic is joined by his wife Janna for an honest, slightly awkward, and definitely unscripted conversation about how they’re learning to talk to their kids about sex while still healing from the way they were raised.

This is part two of the Let’s Talk About Sex series. If part one (with Cindy Wang Brandt) was the wise, expert perspective… this is the messy middle. The part where you’re still figuring out what you believe, what language feels right, and how to even start the convo without passing on the same shame and silence you grew up with.

Together, Nic and Janna talk about:

• Growing up in purity culture and how it shaped their views on sex

• What it’s like to rewrite the script while raising kids in real time

• Why saying the words out loud (yes, even “vulva”) matters

• How their views on intimacy have evolved over the years

• The convos that worked, the ones that flopped, and the ones that came out of nowhere while folding laundry

This isn’t a how-to guide. It’s not a list of rules.

It’s two parents, sitting together, trying to raise whole humans while still becoming whole themselves.

If you’ve ever felt behind, unsure, or completely unqualified to have “the talk” with your kids—this one’s for you.