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Death Bed Confessions, Harry Potter Pickup Lines, and a RAGING Problem 🦝🧙‍♂️💀

This week on The Poor Choices Show, we go from Tom Brady’s lips to bankrupting a country in less than 6 minutes—and somehow, it all makes sense.

We kick things off with the latest installment of "How Bizarre," where Chris accidentally drops a song lyric on a delivery driver and gets the most unbothered response ever.

Then we spiral straight into:
🛏️ Death bed confessions (what question would you force your best friend to answer with their last breath?)
🏦 Who would you bankrupt if there were zero consequences? (Let’s just say some companies deserve it.)
🍬 Wait… what flavor are Swedish Fish actually? (Because cherry ain't it.)
🏈 And oh yeah, Tom Brady may or may not have been caught kissing a dude. Do with that what you will.

Then it gets... intense:
😬 Would you rather get a raging erection every time you’re near a child, or scream the N-word when someone says "Obama"?
🦝 Would you rather fight ONE rabid raccoon or 60 completely normal ones? This is peak philosophy.

We also cover:
🧠 Chris's big life changes—quitting drinking, losing weight, growing out his hair... basically, he's trying to not be a walking hangover anymore.
🧙‍♂️ Harry Potter pickup lines (because nothing says "I’m a catch" like “Wanna see my wand?”)
📰 Selective headlines and how 30 people died in a tornado, but Twitter’s still arguing about Trump’s tariffs.
🐶 Chris gets stuck in traffic, only to find out it’s a procession for a military dog. Instant mood swing from road rage to respectful salute.

We also dive into:
💀 Famous people who died on this day, because birthdays were a bust.
🌐 What the hell is the dark web anyway?
🏀 Top 10 athletes since 2000—prepare to be irrationally angry.
🧬 Human 2.0 upgrades—what features should we be installing in the next model?
🪑 Chris’s near-death experience involving a green screen, a swivel chair, and zero grace.

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices (because nothing pairs with near-death like a cold one).

Grab your wand, choose your raccoon-fighting stance, and get ready for the dumbest, most entertaining hour and a half of your week. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:52 – HOW BIZZARE
5:42 – NATIONAL DAYS
10:14 – DEATH BED CONFESSION
11:50 – WHO WOULD YOU BANKRUPT?
14:04 – WHAT FLAVOR ARE SWEDISH FISH?
17:42 – TOM BRADY CAUGHT KISSING A MAN!
19:48 – GUESS WHERE THESE LANDMARKS ARE
26:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
30:52 – BIG LIFE CHANGES
33:13 – CHRIS THE CRITIC
39:14 – HARRY POTTER PICKUP LINES
44:03 – SELECTIVE NEWS HEADLINES
46:33 – HAPPY DEATH DAY
47:46 – WHAT’S THE DARK WEB?
50:26 – PODCAST UPDATE
52:40 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
55:04 – PUPPY PROCESSION
56:40 – TOP 10 ATHLETES SINCE 2000
1:00:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR “I CAN’T BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE DON’T DO THIS” HACK?
1:10:03 – ASK REDDIT – A HUMAN 2.0 IS BEING RELEASED, WHAT CHANGES/IMPROVEMENTS DO YOU HOPE TO SEE?
1:16:54 – NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
1:19:20 – OUTRO
1:20:39 – LYNDON B. JOHNSON RAP

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