#52: Lead The Way - K*!! The Passive Man cover art

#52: Lead The Way - K*!! The Passive Man

#52: Lead The Way - K*!! The Passive Man

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#52: Lead The Way - Kill The Passive Man INTRO Welcome back to Men, Save Your Marriage. This episode is the beginning of a new series that will change the way you lead your marriage—and your life. We’re diving into Lead the Way—a 10-part masculine leadership blueprint. Not for the polished executive. Not for the man who’s already got it all figured out. But for the man in the middle of the storm. The man whose marriage feels cold. The man who wants his wife to respect him again. The man who’s sick of being nice but never making progress. Each of these 10 episodes will challenge you, sharpen you, and change the way you operate. This isn’t fluff. This is fire. You’ll get three clear points, real-life stories, practical steps, and a final challenge that will leave you no room to hide. And today—we start where every real transformation starts: You have to kill the passive man. You’ve been told to be nice. To keep the peace. To go with the flow. But if that worked—your marriage wouldn’t be falling apart. Niceness didn’t save your marriage. Passivity didn’t make her feel safe. Silence didn’t create connection. You are not here to disappear. You are here to lead. So let’s get into it. POINT 1: PASSIVITY ISN’T PEACEKEEPING—IT’S MARRIAGE DECAY Let’s start with a brutal truth: Most men lose their marriage by being passive. Not abusive. Not intentionally cruel. Not out there sleeping around. Just... passive. You stopped leading. You stopped speaking truth. You stopped setting tone and expectation. You stopped initiating. You started reacting. You went from husband to roommate. From protector to quiet observer. And you thought that was peace. You told yourself: "I don’t want to argue." "She’s stressed, I’ll just let it go." "Maybe if I give her space, she’ll come back around." But that wasn’t peacekeeping. That was abandonment. And now you’re wondering why she doesn’t trust you. Why she won’t soften. Why the spark is gone. Let me be clear: Peace isn’t the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of order. And order only exists when a man leads. You don’t have to dominate. But you do have to show up with clarity and conviction. You do have to speak. You do have to lead the atmosphere of your home. You do have to correct patterns that erode trust. You do have to pursue her—yes, even when she’s cold. Every day you stay passive, your marriage silently decays. Let me tell you about a man I worked with—we’ll call him Mark. Mark was a good man. Paid the bills. Didn’t cheat. Showed up every night. But for years, he let his wife carry the emotional weight of the relationship. She made all the decisions. Managed the kids. Planned the dates. And over time, her respect died. Then her desire followed. And eventually, she checked out completely. Mark didn’t blow up his marriage. He just slowly stopped showing up with masculine clarity. And that’s what most men do. If you want to save your marriage—you have to lead again. And that starts with point number two. POINT 2: LEADERSHIP BEGINS WITH PRESENCE AND INITIATIVE When I say “kill the passive man,” I don’t mean become aggressive or overbearing. I don’t mean start barking orders and demanding submission. I mean you need to reclaim the weight of your presence. Because in every relationship—somebody is setting the tone. If it’s not you, it’s her. If it’s not her, it’s your kids, your job, your stress, your past. Something or someone is defining the climate of your home. And if you’re passive, that someone is not you. Let me give you a tactical checklist. These are five signs you’ve fallen into passive mode: You wait for her to bring up the hard conversations. You avoid correcting behavior that crosses the line. You haven’t initiated a pursuit moment in weeks—or months. You ask what she wants but never offer what you see or decide. You tell yourself, “It’s not worth the fight,” when deep down, it is. Leadership begins with presence. And presence begins with initiative. You must be the one who initiates the repair. You must be the one who takes responsibility for the distance. You must be the one who says, “Here’s what I see happening, and here’s what I want to rebuild.” Let me give you a line you can steal—word for word: “I haven’t been leading us well. I’ve been passive, and I own that. But I love you, and I want to rebuild connection. That starts with me showing up different.” You say that to your wife—and follow it with action? You’ll shock her system. Because she doesn’t want a hero. She wants a man who leads. Not with perfection. With presence. Not with control. With conviction. Not with mood. With mission. Leadership begins when passivity ends. Which brings us to the last point. POINT 3: YOU CAN KILL THE PASSIVE MAN WITHOUT APOLOGY OR PERMISSION Most men wait for their wife to change before they lead. They wait for her to soften...

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