298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton
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298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton
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About this listen
What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.
💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.
🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
🎥 Produced by: @HippieGoals
📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!
0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People
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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.