In this episode, I sit down with author and creator Kaila Yu to explore what it takes to move from external validation to authentic self worth. We talk about the harm of fetishization, the healing power of sobriety and community, Internal Family Systems therapy, and simple practices like meditation and gratitude that actually shift your biology and your story. If you have ever felt invisible or not enough, this one is for you.

Content advisory: mentions of addiction and sexual assault.

Read more at kienvuu.com

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References: IFS evidence and randomized trials, meditation and gratitude research, and reporting on anti Asian violence. Taylor & Francis Onlineifstherapy.orgSpringerLinkJAMA NetworkPBS

Episode Highlights:

• UCSD connection
• Five to Thrive: self love, rest, and power
• Why Kaila wrote Fetishized and the TikTok pivot
• Hollywood stereotypes and narrow roles for Asian women
• Sobriety and the start of real inner work
• Depression, chaos, and chasing validation
• Parents, achievement, and the missing words of affirmation
• What 12 step work opens up
• Naming the assault and why secrets make us sick
• IFS therapy and befriending your parts
• First steps that actually help
• Meditation and gratitude in practice
• Why fetishization is not harmless
• Book details and where to find Kaila