23. Shoulding.
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23. Shoulding.
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About this listen
In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores the cognitive trap of “Should” statements — those internal scripts that sound like motivation but actually breed shame, pressure, and disconnection. In men’s work and relationships, “should” thinking fuels unrealistic expectations of self and others, rooted in cultural and childhood conditioning.
Phrases like “She should appreciate me more” or “I should always know what to say” trap men in cycles of guilt, control, and emotional shutdown. Greg offers a gentler, more relational alternative: swap “should” with expressions like “It would be helpful if…” or “I’d prefer if…” to foster curiosity and connection over criticism. These small language shifts open the door to vulnerability, self-compassion, and more honest communication.
The takeaway? Ditch the “inner drill sergeant” and start replacing rigid thinking with flexibility, humanity, and humor. Let go of the “shoulds” — and start walking the mountain with more ease. WalkTheMountain.com