Come for the creature fights, stay for the VFX. But don't forget to bring your tomatoes to throw at the screen, because the real monsters in this movie are all the scenes that force you to endure what might be the most expositional dialogue you've ever heard since that time you accidentally turned on "descriptive video" on your TV or "Windows Narrator" on your laptop.

And yes, rolling your eyes as the screenwriter crams a step-by-step, pseudo-science, explanation of everything happening right in front of you down your throat—like you're foie gras—is just as frustrating as figuring out how to turn off those aforementioned accessibility features without throwing your laptop down the stairs.

You won’t remember any of the characters' names. The random skills and abilities will conveniently manifest for characters out of nowhere, despite their job titles being something like "linguist" or "geologist," will confuse you. But by God—the VFX teams knew the assignment. And hey, while this film didn't win any Oscars, I have heard that it does hold the Guinness World Record for "being part of a franchise with the most films that nobody remembers seeing or hearing about".

Everyone, enjoy your Scionic Uplink. Hmm... wasn’t that what happened to Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage?