Your Self-Confident Baby

A few good nuggets

What did you like best about Your Self-Confident Baby? What did you like least?

As with all parenting books, this one will be a bible for some and for others will be totally worthless. I fall somewhere in the middle. I appreciate Gerber's philosophy from a high level, that babies are competent learners and parents should be there to support their children, not dictate every minute of their lives, however I found myself becoming incensed at some of the more practical advice she gives. I would have preferred more references to scientific studies to support her theories, since I got the distinct impression that her training was more of the "on the job" variety. I might recommend this book to other parents, but I would caveat by saying that this is just one woman's opinion, and not to take her word as gospel.

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

The idea that newborns, infants, and toddlers are worthy of respect and should be treated as capable individuals is one I can get behind. What I really didn't like is Gerber's implication that parents should adjust virtually all aspects of their lives in order to accommodate their children's needs. She states that parents should, whenever remotely possible, reorganize their lives so that one parent can stay home with the child, and that the first two and a half years of a child's life should be spent mainly at home. I almost stopped listening when I heard these things. Children are meant to be in the world surrounded by a variety of people, and the assertion that they will suffer by being out and about is preposterous.

Was Your Self-Confident Baby worth the listening time?

Probably not. I disagreed with at least half of what Gerber promotes and what I did agree with I had already incorporated into my parenting style. Dr. Sears' The Baby Book was a much better reference for me.

8 of 10 people found this review helpful

Informative

I enjoyed this book. I think the best thing I took back was that we aren't supposed to consistently put our child on a pedestal and tell them how they can do and accomplish anything, or go on and on about how wonderful they are (in front of them anyway). It is educating them that with hard work and effort, you can achieve great things and succeed in many areas. And to remind your child when you do praise them that their accomplishment was indeed the result of hard work!
Also I enjoyed hearing about interacting with your child and how to appropriately speak with and to them.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

All the unwanted parenting advice in one book

Would you try another book from Magda Gerber and Allison Johnson and/or Lauri Fraser?

no

Any additional comments?

This book contains a collection of unsolicited advice that new parents constantly get bombarded with and many times try to avoid. It was written by someone who hasn't had a baby of their own in a while, and the narrator's elderly nanny type voice fits.
If you want a book of opinions, this is the one for you. Or, you could just call your mother in law and save some money.
That said, she did make some points I agree with, such as giving your baby respect like any other human being. Perhaps my definition of respect as far as babies go differs from hers, I do strongly agree with it. I definitely agree that you shouldn't surprise you baby by picking him/her up for example from coming up behind the baby. I let my child know before I pick him up. And I respect his body, if he doesn't want me to play with his hair, I won't. I think the author more aligns her definition of respect for babies similarly to respect for adults.
Along with small trinkets of good advice are tons of irrelevant random bits, such as, don't pat your baby on the back because the author is of the opinion the baby doesn't like it. The author seems to want the parents to question their natural parenting instincts and adapt the authors outdated advice with no or little grounding.
I believe babies cry sometimes because they want to be comforted and you as a parent, within reason, shouldn't feel like it's wrong to help.
I believe babies need constant verbal interaction but you shouldn't feel like you're doing something wrong if you forgot to tell the baby that you are about to kiss him/her goodnight. As a really young infant, it probably doesn't matter what you say, as long as you talk to him/her regularly.
One thing I really disagreed with was the advice to tell your baby you're putting the baby down so the parent can rest because the parent is tired. What if you don't rest, or you're not even tired? Did you just lie? What if you do the dishes instead? I put my baby down so my baby can rest. As a parent, it is not fair for my children if I depend on them. They need to depend on me, but not the other way around. The baby doesn't sleep because I NEED him/her to sleep. The baby sleeps because the baby needs to sleep.
If this book is works for you and your parenting style, that's great. This book and I did not mesh well. I have read many parenting books and this is my least favorite.
That said, I couldn't finish it. I got several hours in, but had to put it down as I was getting annoyed with a lot of things she said as a self-proclaimed expert. I'm sure there's more valuable advice in the book that I'll never get to because I was tired of weeding it out.

8 of 15 people found this review helpful

Wonderful practical guidance on teaching and disciplining for babies!

I liked this book very much. It not only gives you theories but also gives you real life examples of children's behavior and how to deal with it in the best of ways. I would recommend it it to anyone looking for guidance on how to teach and discipline their kids.

Disappointed in this book

I regret purchasing this book.
The author is not a fan of baby slings, sleeping with baby, nursing baby to sleep, patting or rocking baby. All of which are very important to me. I do not believe in leaving baby on his/her back to "learn" to self sooth.
I pick up my baby when she cries.

4 of 8 people found this review helpful

A valuable resource for parents and carers

"Infants and Toddlers deserve quality relationships with their parents and caregivers and *quality care* starts with education. Learn more about child development and how to build a respective, reciprocal, and responsive relationship with your child from the very start." - Ms Bernstein, Director of Maplewood Child Development Center

1 of 3 people found this review helpful

A please read for new parents!

me encanto esta lleno de cosas utiles!!! Solo lo preferiria escrito para poder consultarlo de vez en cuando

1 of 3 people found this review helpful

It's ok

I felt there was a lot of great information. I didn't care so much for the caregiver/child back and forth. Some of the chapters felt like a repeat of ones prior. I really had to make myself finish the book because of the redundant information just put in different scenarios. But I felt the RIE Philosophy is useful but not practical in today's society

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

A Great listen

Lots of practical advise.. I just wish I had listened to it 18 months ago when my baby was just born.. I recommend to all the mommies to be out there

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

Excellent learning expereience!

A book of reference for all new and experienced parents. Wonderful learning experience, great examples from real life.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful