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Slouch Witch

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Magic, Book 1
Narrated by: Tanya Eby
Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (74 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Let's get one thing straight - Ivy Wilde is not a heroine. In fact she's probably the last witch in the world you'd call if you needed a magical helping hand, regardless of her actual abilities. If it were down to Ivy, she'd spend all day every day on her sofa, where she could watch TV, munch junk food, and talk to her feline familiar to her heart's content.

However, when a bureaucratic disaster ends up with Ivy as the victim of a case of mistaken identity, she's yanked very unwillingly into Arcane Branch, the investigative department of the Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment. Her problems are quadrupled when a valuable object is stolen right from under the Order's noses.

It doesn't exactly help that she's been magically bound to Adeptus Exemptus Raphael Winter. He might have piercing sapphire eyes and a body a cover model would be proud of, but as far as Ivy's concerned, he's a walking advertisement for the joyless perils of too much witch work.

And if he makes her go to the gym again, she's definitely going to turn him into a frog.

©2017 Helen Harper (P)2017 Tantor

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent story characters and very funny

If you could sum up Slouch Witch in three words, what would they be?

Excellent characters and funny story

What was one of the most memorable moments of Slouch Witch?

The exchange between the main characters

Have you listened to any of Tanya Eby’s other performances? How does this one compare?

The story was performed well and you loose yourself in the telling

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Enjoyed the whole story

3 people found this helpful

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love it

I love the twists and turns. Ivy is a onion. Everytime you understand her, another layer is pulled off. There is a little bit of Ivy in all of us, i think. Rafe also grows and changes.
i can't wait to listen to the next book.
The narrator did a fantastic job. i am going to have to find more of her books to listen too as well

2 people found this helpful

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Really interesting

It kept me captivated and intrigued to the end.
Loved the light hearted story line

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good story bad speaker.

the speakers tone and sentence structure was odd. it really distracted from an otherwise good story.

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Great book!

wonderful book and the narration was wonderful! my first audio book and I'll be getting more! Especially more from this author, can't wait to listen to the next book in the series!!

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Who thought being so lazy could be so bewitching !

Really enjoyed this story. This is the first book of Helen Harper's Ive listen to / read.
Ivy was kick out of the order for 'cheating' & through a series of blunders ends up having to work with a member of the order to find a missing object which leads to a murder case. Ivy prefers to sleep & watch 'Enchantment' from the comfort of her lounge & dealing with her talking cat when not driving taxis's. Ivy is lazy, funny, smart, sassy & actually a good witch. Adeptus Exemptus Raphael (Rafe) Winter seemed like a by the book kinda guy till he's teamed up with Ivy. Ivy & Rafe make a good team with their different perspectives & great chemistry. Laughed out loud so many times. Can't wait to check out the rest in the series. I did get a little bit confused with some of the members of the Order having the same title when they were in the same scene.

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***Smart, sassy, hilarious***

I loved Ivy she is the funniest ever just the exact opposite exemptus wynter. i enjoued this book so much, it's fast paced and a lot of fun. the narratipn is excellent Tanya Eby is wonderful.

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Funny and Fantastic story

The story was interesting right from the very beginning. I laughed out loud at many parts. Definitely straight on to the next book. Good books to listen to after enjoying the Innkeeper Chronicles by Ilona Andrews.

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Very weak storyline and boring to boot.

Having read many Helen Harper books I bought this with reasonable confidence.
I checked it wasn’t listed for young adults. - caught before.
I am so very surprised this author let such a poor effort be published.

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  • Erin Walsh
  • 02-08-2017

Best Impulse Buy in Ages

I bought this after the audio sample had me hooked, and I do not regret it one bit. Tanya Eby does such a great job bringing these characters to life, although her lack of English accent for the main character and narrator is a little offputting since the book takes place in Oxford, England and all of the characters are English (I assume she's American and didn't want to use a fake accent for the entire novel). Nevertheless, she brings a great amount of emotion to every word, and it's honestly one of the best audiobook performances I've ever heard.

The story is a solid mystery packed with world building and some decent red herrings. It's a good opener for a series, and I look forward to the next book, which I'm going to buy immediately after finishing this review.

If you enjoyed Kim Harrison's Hollows series with Rachel Morgan, definitely give this a try. I'm always looking for good urban fantasy starring lady magic users, and this was a great addition to my collection.

17 people found this helpful

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  • christa
  • 06-08-2017

Awesome book!!!

I just finished this book and I really enjoyed it. The main character is funny, smart and a blast to listen to. The mystery is good and not easy to figure out and the story is light and entertaining. While I had reservations about the narrator initially because her voice sounded a little older than I expected she really made the character and after listening for a short time it was no longer an issue. She delivered the lines expertly and really seemed to get the snark and mood of the story and how it should be read.I have been looking for a book that will hold my attention and it has been hard to find a new series. This book was well written and I cannot wait until the next book comes out. If you like funny out going lead women with a touch of laziness and you have had enough of long drawn out sex scenes this is a great book for you.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Jessica
  • 06-08-2017

Amazing story, disappointing narration

I ended up returning this book because of the narration. I read the book and loved it so much I purchased the audio book shorty thereafter. That was a mistake. No one in their right mind would ever think "plonker" should be said with an American accent. There is an entire country of people who could have narrated this book authentically; they choose an American who couldn't. Do yourself a favor and read this one.

21 people found this helpful

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  • boricuachica
  • 28-09-2018

Good story

Good story overall, little to complain about. My only hesitation was that I had difficulty with the narrator. Why on Earth would you have a non-British native read the part? This narrator’s attempts at British slang and her accent for other characters was difficult to listen to. But mainly why would she give the main character an American accent when clearly she isn’t? This was just miscast. It could have been better with another voice actress.

4 people found this helpful

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  • KR
  • 30-09-2017

Favorite New Series

For some time, I hesitated to start this series, despite my love for other Helen Harper series (for no other reason than I just haven't been into witches lately), but I am so glad I finally did!
I was at first also just a bit put off by the narrator's voice, primarily because it was not what I've come to expect; I suppose I automatically associate Helen Harper stories with Saskia Maarleveld, whom I love. I soon came to realize my first impression was unnecessarily critical, and I think Tanya Eby did a fantastic job!

I am still a little curious as to why the main character has an American accent, though the story is set in England; the narrator is American, too, but she gives all the other characters British accents well enough. Nevertheless, I do think the voice the narrator gave the main character works quite well for her personality.

Ivy Wilde is utterly charming, with her lighthearted, easy-going nature, her careless, self-deprecating and snarky humor, and her penchant for putting forth the absolute minimum of effort. A perfect foil, the stolid and sober Winter is alternately annoyed, exasperated, and charmed by her. There are several endearing side characters, as well, perhaps the best being Ivy's Familiar, Brutus. Overall, the story is a humorous and fun adventure.

3 people found this helpful

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  • LexiLikesLiterature
  • 09-09-2019

Slouch Witch

By Helen Harper
Narrated by Tanya Eby

This was such a fun book! I quite enjoyed reading about Ivy Wilde's adventures as an almost-investigator after being magically attached to a lead agent of The Order. Ivy's character is everything those YA books try to make their puberty protagonists. Helen Harper does it the right way. Ivy is smart with smart mouth. She is brave without being foolish and she is silly without being immature. I freaking LOVE her!!!

The story follows Ivy and Winter as they try to solve a case for The Order. The bond placed on them forces the two to work together. They are complete opposite personalities and that makes for some laugh out loud moments. To be honest, the case they are trying to solve wasn't all that exciting. Instead, it was the banter between the two of them coupled with Ivy's antics to get out of doing any hard work that make the story a page turner. My favorite moment is when she spelled the weights to be lighter and pretended to struggle through the work out... 🤣hilarious!

My only dislike:
Ivy was wrongfully accused of some things in her past, and when she comes face to face with the person responsible she doesnt get any revenge. Now maybe that's my own character flaw, but I wanted her to turn him into a donkey or something.

I actually really liked the narrator. I saw where some reviewers were irritated that she wasnt an 'English Narrator', but I thought her performance was stellar. Each character had their own sound and she really embodied the carefree spirit of Ivy.


4 Stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟. Great book. I've become friends with the characters. This is for my top Tier books. The story is deep with many layers. I probably finished it in a day. I'll likely reread this one when I miss the characters or need a pick me up.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Ann
  • 05-10-2017

Fun read

Ivy, Brutus, Rafe and the other characters in this story are just a lot of fun. Ivy is lazy, Rafe is fast paced/work dedicated and Brutus just wants to feed. Love Tanya Eby and enjoyed listening to her read this series. Yeah, could have had a Brit do it (does take place in England) but Tanya has a fun way of presenting Ivy that I liked.

2 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Leslie
  • 24-09-2017

Decent if you like Snark

This was not bad. I enjoyed aspects of it, but I didn’t think it was as fabulous as a lot of reviews make it. If you like Molly Harper, you may like Helen Harper. There is a sassy snark to the main character. I did enjoy the cat - although it’s a small part.

I read a lot of reviews by British listeners who complained about the American accent. I bet they were trying to appeal to the popularity of American snarky romances. Britts, if it makes you feel any better - I listened to a book about someone from New Mexico who lived in Portland Oregon - 2 places I’m from and the narrator was a British man who mispronounced locations - so I feel for you! I know in that case that once I got past the shock of the inappropriate accent, the story was pretty good and well read - so maybe it will be the same for you with this one. If you are American, you probably won’t have any problems with this narration.

Not sure I’ll follow up on this series. Maybe if a book is on sale and I want some easy listening.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • C. Klapper
  • 10-09-2017

So good! Funny and fun.

Highly recommend this one for anyone looking for a light mystery with a main character I can seriously relate to. Add a bunch of magic and a hot partner and you've got....well, magic!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Suzy
  • 17-08-2017

funny, smart, and worth it

I really enjoyed this book! it was very funny and smart. there was mystery, sarcasm, laziness, and a thin line of sexual tension. Th is a light fun rainy day read, and wish there were more!!! the only thing I didn't get was the narrator didn't do a Brittish accent for the main character. just everyone else. confusing, but I really liked it.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Teddy
  • 22-08-2017

Disappointing

Would you be willing to try another book from Helen Harper? Why or why not?

I have enjoyed other books by Helen Harper

What didn’t you like about Tanya Eby’s performance?

Tanya Eby is American, not good at English accents or pronumciation, and a bad choice for a voicing character who uses so many English idioms that she must be English, nor for narrating a book that has such a very English setting.

What character would you cut from Slouch Witch?

Winter - he's a bully who willingly gives his loyalty to a corrupt organization headed by a man who openly blackmails people to get his own way, yet he's cast as the love-interest for the female protagonist.

Any additional comments?

Unfortunately, hackneyed but sadly pervasive (in paranormal fiction) trope of Girl thrown into position of being stuck working with handsome, powerful, overbearingly arrogant Man ends up falling for him instead of finding a way of slapping him down so hard he can't get back up.The amusing writing style and reasonably good plot, unfortunately, aren't enough to save this one from the offputting and irritating romance element.

6 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Ms F. Beaumont
  • 26-08-2017

Great story, eccentric narration

Is there anything you would change about this book?

The book is great, I loved the down to earth language and behaviours of the characters. Ivy is very "normal", Helen Harper hasn't fallen into the pervasive trap in fantasy literature of making her heroine super-good or special. Although she is a very talented witch, she is also very easy to relate to.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Brutus, every cat owner can appreciate his stubborn determination to get what he wants.

How could the performance have been better?

The narration is eccentric to say the least. A book set in England, with English characters narrated by someone with an American accent. The book is written in the first person so Ivy is portrayed with a US accent, even though her language is very British. (e,g, plonker, bloody hell etc). It jars when listening to it. Tanya's character accents are a bit hit and miss, some are good, but there are a few Dick Van Dyke moments with some attempts at British regional accents.
If you are American, imagine a book set in New York, with New York characters being narrated by someone with a Received English accent. It's perfectly understandable, but just doesn't sound right.

Any additional comments?

Once I managed to get passed the US accent using British vernacular, it was very enjoyable and will definitely be getting the next ones in the series.

8 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Kris
  • 10-12-2017

Erm..

Liked the book. Hated the narration. The accent is all wrong for an English story, set in (the clue is in the word) England!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Clarence
  • 09-11-2017

Hated the narration, it was so annoying

I wanted to like this but the narration was so off putting. It done my head in and I kept tuning out. A very frustrating listen for me, and I don't think I fully absorbed the story as I was so annoyed by the narration. I think if you changed the narrator I'd actually enjoy it

She had a dodgy American / robotic accent and drawn out pronunciation. I don't know if she was trying to add dramatic suspense but it was plain awful.

1 person found this helpful

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  • ELR
  • 19-01-2020

Brilliant read that you will read over and over<br />

Humour, mystery, touch of romance and magic. I love the contrast of characters in this book and the developing story. Also to top it all the foul mouth cat. I have read this book over and over.

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  • lynbob
  • 03-12-2019

Slouch Witch who is no slouch

Enjoyed the book and the audible version. Just the right amount of snark in Tanya's narration. Tanya has Ivy just right, and she gives other characters their own voices as well..

The accent took some getting used to, but by the time I had listened to half of the second book, I did not notice it.



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  • ann
  • 18-10-2019

Fun story! but the narration?

What a great story premise. It was fun to listen to.
The problem is it is based in England and the narrator is American. It really brings down the audiobook.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Kindle Customer
  • 20-01-2019

Loved this audiobook

I loved the characterisation and the storyline, both of which were enhanced by the narration. The dialogue was clever and witty.
I will get put it in my favourites and enjoy reading it again.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Susan M.
  • 07-08-2018

Why????

The book wasn't dreadful - lightweight fluff, but reasonable. The narrator however, has a very strong US accent, and the book is very clearly and obviously set in England, which leads to every character except the central heroine, being given a Dick Van Dyke, Tim Nice-But-Dim accent (yes, including the guy at the beginning who tries to rob her taxi with a gun). It was just such a dreadful choice to make that I've returned the book.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Miss P M Davies
  • 22-04-2018

A fun urban fantasy

I really enjoyed this. The story was interesting and kept me intrigued to the very last page. I'm excited to see where the series goes.
The only issue I had was with the narrator. Having an American read clearly English slang was so cringeworthy. But it didn't take away from the story.