Listen with a critical ear

Wow. So I will admit she makes a lot of good points. She brings attention to many subtle behaviours like body posture, eye contact, the fact that women don’t like to use the armrests in favour of « taking up less space », and how that comes construed as feeling like you don’t have much right to be there. Although a bit picky, I do see where she is coming from. But more than half the time I was thinking to myself that she...sort of hates women. She lists over 100 « mistakes » that women make in professional settings; again some of these are valid things to pay attention to, but others it’s like she’s just shaming naturally feminine behaviour. She treats traditional, ladylike behaviour as a weakness and a liability almost, and describes how one should mirror a man’s more « powerful masculine » approach instead. Newsflash to the author: men and women are inherently different. And yes, our business world still has a long way to go to be truly « equal » to both sexes. But blaming the victim and simply trying to turn women into men is not the answer.
Some of the things she went on for awhile about that I disagreed with: Don’t tuck your foot behind your ankle when you sit, because a man doesn’t do that. (Sitting that way actually shows etiquette as a lady, but she treats it as weakness). Don’t bring baked goods to the office because you will be taken less seriously for showing your nurturing side. Don’t ask for any accommodations at work while pregnant. Don’t dress in a feminine style (even conservatively), just wear a pants suit like a man. If you have visible tattoos, you have made a terrible life decision (according to her) and you deserve to suffer through the heat to cover up with long sleeves. Also try not to report sexual harassment because it will reflect badly on you. Oftentimes her tone is very abrasive and many statements extreme. From one sentence to the next, I alternated between feeling like I learned something noteworthy and just thinking she was crazy and very anti-women. Listen critically.

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69 people found this helpful

Hidden Gem-A Must for Women Who Want to Excel

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I have been recommending this book to any woman who I feel has what it takes or has an interest in excelling in the business world. I can't say enough good things about it.

One thing that should be noted, is that Lois acknowledges the significant shaft that women of color experience vs white women. This is important because it shows how she can view situations objectively-which adds to her credibility. In my experience, it's rare to come across a white woman who can see and relate to our added challenges.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office?

The author said avoiding office politics was a mistake. For years, I have been trying to avoid the politics because I thought I was above it, and I thought it was the "right" thing to do. My mistake.

Have you listened to any of Lois P. Frankel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No. N/A.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I was a bit overstimulated. In the beginning, the author goes over some appalling statistics. After the initial shock and anger, I continued on. She discusses the unconscious mistakes that women make in the workplace-and she offers coaching tips. I feel like Lois is my personal career coach. A light bulb went off with this one.

Any additional comments?

I almost didn't make the purchase because I pretty much hate the color pink (it's been forced on me all my life) and I didn't like the title. I debated between this book and How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I thought I needed something more tailored to me-a woman. So, after reading the reviews, I decided to purchase Nice Girls. I am so glad I did.

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42 people found this helpful

Recovering Nice Girl

Would you listen to Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office again? Why?

I would absolutely listen to this again because its chalked full of tips and advice that apply to so many different situations a woman finds herself in at work.

What other book might you compare Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office to and why?

I thought a lot about The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman when I listened to this. While that book explores the problems women face with confidence, this book shows you how to address and conquer those problems in the workplace.

What about Lois P. Frankel’s performance did you like?

Strong confident narration - It felt like getting a pep talk from a well respected, no-nonsense mentor.

Any additional comments?

I had an epiphany-like moment over and over again when Frankel points out that when people shame a woman for unladylike behavior, it's not because there is such a shameful thing as unladylike behavior, it's because it's the easiest and most effective means of getting whatever it is they want out of you.

Because we've been so conditioned to be pleasing to others, accusing a woman of behaving in an unpleasing manner is like an automatic shut off button that manipulative people use against us. Accusations and implications of this manner have no basis in reality, it's just a means of shutting us up and keeping us out.

I'd downloaded several other career advice audiobooks before this one, as I was looking for career advice because I'm a new grad starting my first corporate job. I found the other new grad career advice books rather trite and unhelpful. I was hesitant about this purchase because I wasn't worried about snagging the "corner office," so much as just getting started, but I am so glad I found this gem as I begin my journey through the corporate world.

I'm so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents. I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout. She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self-promotional and narcissistic branding.

This was one of my favorite audible experiences. Highly Recommended!

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28 people found this helpful

Male behavior is the problem

While there were tidbits of valuable guidance, overall I found the advice to be steeped in sexism. Would anyone ever ask a man to wear makeup? Never! The notion that women must make their appearance pleasing to the men in power is exactly what’s wrong with how woman are treated and viewed in the workplace. We are not objects for you to look at. This BS that is mascaraed as coaching is nothing more than an attempt to push women shift their behavior because men aren’t willing to shift their own.

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17 people found this helpful

Get your powersuit and 1980s Gurl Power

TL;DR - be confident, play to your strengths, read the room (or office in this case), use critical thinking, maintain professionalism and be goal oriented. Dont give into bullies or play their games. Learn strategy and apply it to your life.

If you read the above, you dont need the book.

The narrator has a lovely voice and was pleasant to listen to.

The tone of the book is outdated, which is sad considering its only 4 years old, feels like a womens empowerment book from the 1980s. Author contradicts herself through out the book while trying to make her points. Most glaryingly obvious is her consistent comparison of men vs women, then stating how the presumed reader is not a man and should act like a woman, but not too much. The duality posed by the author seems to be pitting men and women against eachother. So much man hate and personal feeling. She takes sucker punches at the supposed patriarchy. I do agree women are raised differently from men and that, that reflects in adult behaviors. Its common knowledge at this point that men and women are different and approach work and the office environment differently. Its also common knowledge the office space is heavily geared toward men, so is the rest of the world. However the way inwhich this is all pointed out gives the air of patronizing the reader. Especially when she keeps calling the reader a "nice little girl" and telling them to grow up into a woman. ok thanks. The world has changed, its not as simple as women not being allowed in the boys club. We have so many other communities fighting for equal pay, respect and rights in the work place, and promotion options that its no longer a black and white issue. The author does nothing to address the plight of immigrant employees or LGBTQ individuals. She barely touches on the fact African American women struggle harder to succeed due to old stigmas and racism. The fact she continually tries to turn it into a two sided problem is belitting the issue. Im struggling to finish this book. But this author needs to reevaluate how she precieves the world and self. Her advice stems from a different generation and different time, its very clear she hasnt updated herself or views since the shoulder pads and powersuit era.

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14 people found this helpful

She’s so off base for the modern world

In one part of her book she says “your hair should not be too long. Each year at your company your hair should get shorter.” Like what...

Now she’s talking about accessories and wearing “playful pins..”

These are not the issues we need addressed. She’s in the last century.

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7 people found this helpful

Quite Insulting - I couldn’t even finish

In this book, the author speaks of woman in a degrading manor - it is the opposite of empowering. She’d often give a trait and then say “you know how us women can be”. No thank you.

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7 people found this helpful

Antiquated Thinking About Women's Issues

Either the author has some pretty antiquated ideas about how women should deal with the issues they are facing professionally - basically, the onus on the ugly behavior of some men being our problem to solve - or she outright hates women.

She actually tells women it is too feminine to smile a lot. Take it from the other end, where I'm constantly told to smile, which is a microaggression in itself as women are expected to be accommodating, pleasant, peacekeeping. I understand body language being important, but telling people not to smile too much is confusing. What is too much exactly?

Tells them not to dress too feminine. Apparently, if you wear a skirt, people are not going to take you seriously. Um, hon. Misogynists are not going to suddenly take me seriously if I'm wearing pants. They're not going to see me as a faceless humanoid the moment I don jeans and overlook the fact that I am female. They're going to see a woman in pants.

Don't wear jewelry, really? I think there is a tasteful balance in terms of the amount of makeup, jewelry, and fragrance people should wear. It can be distracting when anyone wears too much of anything. Regardless of gender.

Littered with degrading/demeaning language. But I should have clued into that when reading the title "nice girls." Telling me I need to grow up (into a woman) and put my big girl panties on but don't be too feminine about it.

While some of this is applicable and helpful, I don't see it being the book that is going to make or break the difference in my career.

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6 people found this helpful

Great Framework--some bias

The overall message of this book is great--women need to take proactive measures to reduce learned behaviors that will stand in their way of achieving success. This book clearly give specific examples how to overcome various obstacles from "apologizing too much" to "not dressing the part".

My one hang-up with this book was that the writer seemed to bring a little too much personal preference into the book. One example is she suggests women should consider cutting their hair shorter, as more successful women have shorter hair. The "Fortune's most Powerful Women" just came out for 2018, and it is pretty equal between short and long hair among the 50 women. I think this is a personal bias she brings in from past years or from her own personal style. There were a few other examples like this throughout the book that get a little too nit picky, but do not take away from the overall message.

I would still recommend to anyone looking to advance their career!

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6 people found this helpful

The Updates Version is Already Dated

Before buying this book I read a review that said that the author was very judgmental and hated women. After listening to it, I don't think that is the case. I think she's just out of touch with modern offices. Some of her advice is timeless, but a lot of it is reallly dated. There is a section on accessories where she goes into a ton of detail about pins. Has anyone worn a pin on their blouse in 20 years?

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5 people found this helpful