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Publisher's Summary

Discover the single greatest secret to a successful marriage! Touted as a classic among marriage books, Love & Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other and how they can deal with conflict quickly, easily and biblically. A New York Times best seller with over 2.1 million copies sold.

Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. While both men and women deserve both love and respect, in the midst of conflict the driving need for a woman is love and the driving need for a man is respect. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. 

Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. If you want to feel peace, closeness, value, and to experience marriage the way God intended, this book will help you get there. 

Love and Respect is for anyone: those in marital crisis, the happily married, engaged couples, pastors and counselors, and small groups. This dynamic and life-changing message is impacting the world, resulting in the healing and restoration of countless relationships.

What readers are saying about Love & Respect:

  • “I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”
  • “This is the key that I have been missing.”
  • “You connected all the dots for me.”
  • “As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”
  • “You’re on to something huge here.”

Partner Love & Respect with the Love & Respect Workbook for Couples, Individuals, and Groups for an added experience. Love & Respect is also available in Spanish, Amor y Respeto.

©2015 Emerson Eggerichs (P)2015 Thomas Nelson

What listeners say about Love and Respect

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No scientific backing

The book is based on Christianity's teaching, no scientific support nor relatable teaching. The author quoted too many quotes from the bible and i'm not here to learn to read the bible. plus, no practical guide nor insight.

3 people found this helpful

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Wow!! Life changing

Amazing life changing book, how I wish I listened to it before my marriage ended. I have a lot to learn and understand but overal loved it. It has so many great powerful nuggets a must read for couples.

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The best relationship advice I have ever heard

I have never heard advice quite like this. Love and Respect is aimed at both parties in the relationship and speaks directly, honestly, openly, and bluntly to both. The examples he uses are sometimes exaggerated for the sake of example so don’t read too far into that. I’m also not a religious person but still found this book incredibly insightful. I’m glad I found this book only a year into my marriage, and I hope that wherever you are in your relationship you can take this advice and use it to create something beautiful for yourselves.

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Penny dropped

My wife and I were introduced to the book via a counselling session. We actually had it at home but it was unread... I downloaded the audio book on the way home from counselling and began listening and discussing the topics.
It has transformed our thinking.

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The Best Book For Your Relationship!!!

Wow! Hands down... Best book on relationships I’ve ever read (listened to). The author reads it so well and so genuinely, which improves the listening experience. Thank you for wrong this book!

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Exceptional

This book is exceptional. It holds the rarely heard , taught and understood biblical truth of love and respect and how to apply them. Game changer. Life changing. This works. Praise God

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Awesome!! just awesome!!

found this very enlightening and some key messages I will definitely be implementing in my own life. thank you for sharing ☺️❤️

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Respectful review

I struggled with some of the content of this text. There are many references to the bible that I found a bit old fashioned. If you're a person with a strong Christian faith and struggling with your marriage then this book will be very helpful. I found myself turned off by the statement "wife submit to your husband", even if it was explained in modern day terms. There are helpful parts to the book.

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insightful, grounded in truth and full of hope.

insightful, grounded in truth and full of hope. so helpful to hear real life realistic stories that took theory to action.

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Great book to save your marriage

I really enjoyed listening to this book. I think you will also find that most of the issues the book mentions are things you encounter as well.

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  • Sarah
  • 11-01-2019

Not for you if you are a team in your marriage!

This book was recommended to me by my father. It was annoying to read and even more offensive to listen to! It bases its entire logic in the idea that women only desire to be loved and men only desire to be respected. His condescending tone toward women, which is even more apparent listening to him read the book, and his assumption that men just can’t help their behavior is ludicrous! I am a stay at home mother and my husband is the provider but we are STILL very much partners and both desire to be BOTH LOVED AND RESPECTED! I would not recommend this book.

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  • Megan Twomey
  • 09-04-2019

Garbage

He laughs at his wife’s needs and desires. He is a chauvinist. Perhaps 30 years of studying the Bible was not enough. One verse is not everything.

33 people found this helpful

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  • EpicAngie
  • 25-09-2019

Had to return

I couldn’t even listen to half an hour of this book, let alone torture myself for 8 more hours. He’s very condescending and little laughing and smirks at his wife’s feelings. No thank you!

32 people found this helpful

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  • Helpful Reviewer
  • 23-06-2017

Helpful. Glad I bought it. Some reservations.

Overall I'm glad I bought this book. My wife and I have a great marriage and almost never fight or get into tiffs, so I was reluctant to buy because most marriage books are slanted toward those considering divorce.

Overall I felt this was true from a male perspective and it was very refreshing to read a marriage book that didn't make all guys out to be horrible sinning savage beasts.

However, there were two things I think could be improved.

First, I think it maybe went a bit too far in the way it explained how the woman should respect the man's decisions for the family. My wife felt afraid to even voice her opinion anymore until I told her to just stop being so respectful and be herself like she usually is. She is always very good to me so I think this book made her feel like she wasn't doing a good job and needed to change something.

Second, I wish there were far more specific ideas of things I could do to show love for my wife. I get the concept and I tell my wife I love her all the time. Just wish there were lots of creative ideas in this book to get me thinking.

56 people found this helpful

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  • Tyler Nation
  • 29-08-2016

A contesting for a healthy marriage

The simplicity of this book will leave you dumbfounded as to why this BASIC truth is not being taught from every pulpit in the country. I will continue to reread this book and pass it down to my children when they come of age

25 people found this helpful

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  • Ryne L.
  • 25-11-2018

Just want a refund.

Would like a refund please. This book was so self serving to the author it was impossible to listen for more then 20 minutes. All he does is repeat himself over and over about why women need love and men need respect. Clearly. Apparently through years of counseling and blah blah blah he discovered this and needed to repeat himself 50 times to get the point across. Terrible read. Terribly old fashioned views of what marriage should be. Not to mention completely unable to relate to anything the author and his wife have been though. . Clearly they’ve never been through any REAL LIFE marriage problems. Not worth your money or time.

11 people found this helpful

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  • JMS Scarlett
  • 31-07-2017

Good content but definitely biased & outdated POV

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

While the some content was very good and many of the stories relatable, the slant in favor of the man was very difficult to overcome. As a woman who was severely physically and mentally abused, many times with the abuse being accompanied with quotes from scripture to support it, the book seemed to give men a preferred level of excuse for their behavior. Domestic violence is an epidemic and one could see how a man would use this book to further support their behavior.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

No

21 people found this helpful

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  • Lee
  • 12-03-2019

didn't realize this was a religious book

I'm an ex Christian and don't need anything that quotes Bible verses at me and says things like "the man is the head of the household". this should have been accurately advertised and classified as a religiously slanted book.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Bonnie
  • 28-02-2017

mrlove

great! wonderful tool to grow in a marriage Awesome book no more crazy cycle man

7 people found this helpful

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  • nicole
  • 07-01-2017

This book is a marriage saver!

We are not strictly Christian, but the overall message still worked miracles for us. Don't let the religious nature of the book turn you off if you are not a follower. If you are really ready to do anything to save your marriage, read this book.

22 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 15-02-2020

Excellent!

This is an excellent book that I would recommend to couples! After many years of failures, this book has provided me further insights to what I dont know.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 20-05-2021

Fun and honest

An honest look at the female and male in the relationship, which open your eyes about recognisable everyday situations. I’ve definitely learned why we’ve ended up in a lot of different situations. This book gives a good perspective to your relationship from both sides. And I love that the Bible is quoted multiple times.

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  • Amanda Shelby
  • 24-04-2021

This is saving my marriage!!!

The Biblical principal of Love & Respect being opened and searched in detail is so amazing.

I have been thinking of this passage in Ephesians for a while before listening to this, about wives being called to respect their husbands. And for so long I kept thinking, wonder what that meant in practice and what that would look like to my husband in particular.

I started reading it only a week ago and now I'm done and started it over. I want to study ways to be respectful to my husband and remember them.

My marriage fell into pieces just 3 weeks ago when my husband suddenly, and to me, seemingly out of nowhere, announced he wanted a divorce and just left my two under 3 year old sons and I, while I was 8 months pregnant.

I fell into a complete frantic Bible and Prayer immerged life where I would do nothing but those two things. My pregnancy has been the roughest out of any ones I've heard of and I should be bed ridden. But I was left with no choose but to care for my son's alone in agony and hope that my unborn child would be fine even though I couldn't take care of myself at all.

Wonderful truths God showed me. How I was being so negative and letting my everyday life get me down. That I was forgetting how to live my husband, in the way he would feel loved. I was so critical and controling. And I came to the conviction that I needed to change. especially because I didn't want to loose my best friend, my companion, my lover just because I didn't do everything possible to show Him God's love through my demeanor and actions and words.

So, I suddenly, by God's intervention, was offered a free trial on Amazon Audible and that I would get a free book with it. I jumped for it! I hadn't been able to get the Love & Respect book for so long because of how we were doing financially and so God gave me the perfect gift. And I purchased this book immediately and started reading it beside my daily deviations.

God started transforming me quite immediately. The first two weeks of my husband being gone he sent me hate messages and malice in every way possible every day. It was insane. And that was my chance to make sure I was showing God obedience by loving Him and being transparent the whole time rather than getting offended by the horrible things he would say. Never have I ever done anything more difficult in my entire life. Not even 53 h of labour induced and then induced again could have come close to how much agony I was feeling. God pulled me through everyday through His word and talking to me.

Now suddenly for the last week my husband changed his way of talking to me, and he got involved with the kids and I, he is staying here at home now for the first weekend ever after he left. He tells me he loves me, I minister to him through sex and how I always speak to him respectfully and kindly, I serve him and don't complain, his ideas are just as good as mine if not better and I back him up, especially infront of our kids. It is a constant battle to go against what has become like second nature to me. But I sure can see a change. I think he thinks I like him. What a blessing.

I have always respected my husband, just haven't been able to let him know that. Even when he left I made a list of what I respect in him and it was a long one, it was so easy. I wondered why I hadn't done it before. And I am so happy serving him in many ways even though my physical strength is lesser than before. But the strength I have been going by is purely from God. He sustains me daily and all the time.

This is the best conviction story in my life EVER!!! I love God and seeing my husband through His eyes is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Praise the Lord.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 13-04-2020

Learned alot!

Very easy and practical advice to understand and applybl to marriage. Thank you for writing this book and sharing your knowledge.

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  • London Bookworm
  • 13-11-2019

Not for me

I really didn’t like this. The outlook is super traditional and nothing about it clicked with me. I don’t think people fall into these convenient blue and pink glasses for men and women as the author suggests. I did not find the thought process helpful.

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  • Terri
  • 05-09-2019

A phenomenal read! Thank you Emnerson

Words cannot explain the enlightenment and the marriage tools I now feel I have acquired after listening to this audiobook. Emnerson paints a perfectly balanced look at both sides of Love and Respect. He uses scripture appropriately and practically to get his message across in a way that adds value to God's word as well as, to men and women alike. It's incredibly empowering to now know to fix issues, even when it may not be easy. I love this book and will return to it again and again!

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  • Olives
  • 27-08-2019

Changed my Life!!!

Loved it! Every moment spent listening to this book. Totally transformed my view of marriage, my wife and my relationship with God especially as it pertains marriage.

Can't wait to recommend Love and Respect to all my friends.

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  • mvillion
  • 08-08-2019

Excellent material about men and women

Whilst drawn heavily from the bible, the material expresses the true about men and women. Even if you are not a Christian, the material is so good as it speaks the truth about a marriage relationship and how a man and a woman can get everything they want from it and have a truly wonderful marriage. The principles have not changed in 2000 years.

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  • Shil
  • 06-11-2018

Really worth reading even if your not Christian

I shared this book with several friends. The book gives a good indication of why so many marriages drift apart. I’ve started using some of the suggestions in the book and my relationship has already seen changes. I really wanted more love and by showing respect I am filled with the love I so wanted.

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  • Funke Ayodele
  • 11-03-2018

“Cha-ching!”

On the money! Married for going on 18 years now and I’ve never come across material that comes this close to the balanced teaching and highest standards that I believe God Himself etched on me about what His heart & mind about marriage is, right from my youth!!

It offers hope untarnished on a platter of gold, and I’ve scooped it all up, with cupped arms that are filled & profusely overflowing!!!

Great book based on the eternal truth about marriage, practical in every way - a treasure worth finding for absolutely every married couple and those looking forward to it.

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