F*cking History cover art

F*cking History

111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School

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F*cking History

By: The Captain
Narrated by: The Captain
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About this listen

 History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how. Love, Dating & Attraction Performing Arts Relationships Dating Comedy Funny Witty
All stars
Most relevant
highly highly recommend, such a good listen.
couldn't put it down, want more. Amazing!!!

ABSOLUTELY LOVE

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It’s my first time listening to audible and I have to say that F*cking History was a great starter. So many laughs and at the same time educational. I loved it! MORE PLEASE Captain! Thank you for keeping me laughing and entertained while doing school dropoffs ❤️🙏🏽🔥🙌

Fantastic!

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This book was funny, educational and consistently highly entertaining! Loved it! Have just listened to it for the second time, and will again.
Best book I’ve read or listened to in a long time!

Awesome!

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An interesting idea and there are some good stories in there, but after a while it just becomes too painful to listen to this narrator. The language belongs in a straight-to-DVD American college movie. It's a tiresome example of how uneducated 16 year olds sound when they desperately try to convey impactful stories to their friends, but the only way they know of emphasizing things is by throwing in as much "f*cking" or "as f*ck" as possible. I have no issues with swearing, but after 20 minutes of this the narrator has managed to become a parody of himself. It detracts from the story itself and becomes tiresome very quickly.

Great idea, average execution.

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.