This morning in a meeting I heard a story that made mention of God delivering messages to us each day, and it’s up to us to look for them. Something about that didn’t resonate with me, so I decided to reflect on it and record an episode. On the surface, it sounds simple, but I insist that it is much more complex. Emotional sobriety means being able to see the world around me as a constant broadcast, like a message already written, and learning how to tune in. That tuning takes daily effort, through walking my dogs in nature (in Boris’ case, it’s just sitting in nature 😂), attending AA meetings, talking to my psychiatrist, and practicing prayer and meditation. Each of these fine-tunes the dial inside me so I can see the message clearly rather than letting my disease hijack the signal.

I don’t believe that my higher power is a postman dropping off new messages every day. Instead, the universe is already speaking all around me, all the time. It’s my decision to receive it. Sometimes, like when I saw that bucket of empty bottles, my first reaction was driven by depression and alcoholism, not sobriety. After 24 hours of inner resolution, I saw it differently. It became a gift and reminder of what I’ve been freed from. I make daily (even hourly) choices to turn the dial back toward hope, connection, and gratitude. I’m not waiting for God to deliver messages; I’m choosing to remove the obstacles caused by my invisible illnesses that block me from hearing what’s already around me. My sobriety is a gift, and connection helps me to keep tuning in.

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