Blue Button Beach Blitz: Mysterious Marine Invaders Cause Coastal Chaos
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Blue Button Beach Blitz: Mysterious Marine Invaders Cause Coastal Chaos
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About this listen
Here's a recent news item that absolutely nobody asked for but might just brighten your day—or at least make you ponder the mysteries of the universe, or at minimum, the mysteries of Virginia Beach. So, picture this: you’re enjoying a peaceful stroll along the sands in Virginia, thinking the most dangerous thing you’ll encounter is an overenthusiastic seagull with a carb addiction, when suddenly you spot something that looks suspiciously like a bright blue button. A bunch of bright blue buttons, actually, scattered along the shoreline like the remnants of a Smurf’s laundry day gone terribly wrong.
Immediately, the plot thickens. Are these buttons the result of an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction by a parade of blue-shirted beachgoers? Is someone out there trying to start a new coastal couture movement, where shells are passé and buttons are in? But, no, dear listeners, these “buttons” are actually marine invertebrates called Velella velella—more commonly known as “by-the-wind sailors.” Honestly, the creatures sound more like a poetic indie band than something you’d want to step on in bare feet.
These little floaters usually live way out at sea, drifting on the currents, living their best life until, whoops, the wind changes and suddenly half of them are washed up on the sand, confusing the locals and delighting small children looking for oceanic treasure. They look plastic, but they’re actually gelatinous relatives of jellyfish, and, yes, they really do look like buttons. However, experts issued a warning: these “buttons” are “quite potent”—not with fashion advice, but with mild venom. So, touching them might not land you in the ER, but it could leave you regretting your curiosity and posting vaguely embarrassing photos online of rashy hands.
Local authorities feel obliged to remind everyone not to poke the blue stuff, not to eat the blue stuff, and definitely not to cook it and try to turn it into a TikTok challenge. And yet, you know someone, somewhere, is going to post a video of themselves daring their friend to lick a jelly button, and we will all have to live with the consequences.
The best part? This isn’t the first time Velella velella have staged a shore invasion. Every few years, depending on how the wind feels, they decide to show up en masse, throw a blue-themed party on the beach, and then promptly die, leaving humans to scratch their heads and the cleanup crews to wish they’d called in sick. As for the creatures themselves, scientists say they’re entirely harmless… to the ecosystem, but your dignity may not be so lucky if you decide to collect a bucketful to impress your date.
So there you have it: you can now awe anyone at your next social gathering with your knowledge of exotic jellyfish relatives disguised as beach buttons. Is it information you needed? Absolutely not. Is it a fun way to derail dinner conversation? You’re welcome.
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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.