Dragon Fantasy Humour

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

I never thought I would date a dragon, or feed him chicken strips late at night, but life has gotten interesting. My steady dragon - you may know him as Lord Zavryd’nokquetal, but I get to call him Zav - is offering to take me to the elven homeland to meet my father and learn to harness the magic in my blood. Sure, I’m wary about his plans to force the elves to train me, but I need every advantage I can get. Especially when vampire attacks start cropping up all over Seattle, and my friend and business partner, Dimitri, disappears.

Take one bored princess. Make her the seventh daughter in a very proper royal family. Have her run away. Add one powerful, fascinating, dangerous dragon. Princess Cimerone has never met anyone (or anything) like the dragon Kazul. But then, she's never met a witch, a jinn, a death-dealing talking bird or a stone prince either. Princess Cimerone ran away to find some excitement. She's found plenty.

Mysterious incidents are wreaking havoc throughout Camp Jupiter. And if the Romans don't find out who - or what - is behind the episodes soon, the Twelfth Legion could implode. Suspicion falls on Claudia, the Fourth Cohort's newest probatio. To find out the truth, see through Claudia's eyes the crime scenes and watch as the bizarre events unfold - even when she discovers a secret that holds the key to Camp Jupiter's safety....

With the blood of a Dragon on his hands, Anuka Sandbar and his friends flee from the horde of Dragons hunting them. Desperate for a weapon to use against the Dragons, Anuka assembles a band of professional thieves and thugs to infiltrate a secret dungeon.

As time runs down for the players trapped by the evil Lich-Lord in the hyper-realistic MMORPG Fantasy Realms Online, Kromgorn the Barbarian is still stuck playing as the gorgeous, pleasure-fueled Lacey the Courtesan, a character designed to level fastest when she’s getting busy with every NPC in sight. The action is hot, the stakes are high, and Lacey will need to pull out every skill she can muster if she wants to win the day.

Van Vanyushin doesn't see the point in ever leaving the beautiful digital world of the game he loves - and for good reason. In the industrial wasteland he calls home, it is often the only way people can experience life's simplest pleasures. But his allegiance to the game is tested when an ambitious CIA agent named Sang Ngo calls upon him to help as she goes undercover in the game to investigate Draco - the corporation responsible for creating the massively popular role-playing game Dragon Kings of the New World.

This is the legend of Saint Frank, and the great deeds he what did to earn that Sainthood, not born a Saint, in the beginning he was just, Frank, but not long after some stuff that took long, he became Sir. Frank. Sir. Frank may or may not have slayed a Dragon, if he did then this is the Tale of how Sir. Frank became Saint Frank, and if he did not then this is the story of nearly a Saint Frank and a triumphant Dragon.

Journey from fantasy mountains to super-cities, through piratical seas and up into space without missing any must-see sights - or putting a foot wrong with the locals! Whether you’re lord of the shoestring-budget or Luxe Skywalker - Notes from Small Planets is your pastiche passport through the best worlds of science fiction and fantasy. Your ultimate travel guide to all the must-see locations in the worlds of science fiction and fantasy.

After serving with Keane to save Greenshade, the cowardly, illusion-making runecrafter Morholt leads a group of mercenaries on a mission to save the women from his past. His one rule: No killing. But after a terrible accident leaves one of Sarah’s oldest friends dead in the Sedrian jungle, the unstoppable Hill Fury pursues Morholt relentlessly across the Thirteen Kingdoms. Because the renewed Temple of the Sky is trying to murder all those with the sacrilegious runecrafting ability, Sarah requests their help. But soon Sarah must decide who her true enemies are.

The Remarkable History of the Legendary Christmas Dragon: How an Innocent Young Dragon Found a Forever Friend, a Name, and became Santa's Pocket Alarm. ("No more Clement Moores!") This imaginative American fable for the Holidays confronts the mysteries of dragons, vampire bats, sea serpents, time travel and the North Pole with wry, heartwarming humor as the pleasant, ordinary lives of the citizens of a tiny Medieval kingdom are interrupted by an angry witch "vanishing" their beloved royal twins.

What does a three-headed ogre do when they are banned from being a hero? Why, apply to be a henchman of The Dark Lord, of course. Prepare yourself for a story of evil plans and dark deeds, as Og-Grim-Dog discovers whether a life of villainy is really all it’s cracked up to be.

Murland Kadabra has always dreamed of becoming a great wizard. However, at age 19, the young apprentice has yet to successfully cast a single spell. He has been reduced to grounds keeper of Abra Tower, and has become the laughing stock of the wizarding school. But when the Most High Wizard Kazimir chooses him to be one of the five Champions of the Dragon, Murland's life changes forever.

I never should have let Steph drag me to that psychic fair. Metaphysical nonsense doesn’t suit me, Seattle doesn't suit me, and I think I might be allergic to patchouli. I’m definitely allergic to car accidents, to giant elk falling from the sky, and most importantly, to the huge blue dragon that’s attached its obnoxious tail to my navel.

In Book One of The Microvita Tree, the intrepid Doctor Dogalogue travels to Earth in the 14th century to recover the last remaining seed of the microvita tree in the long-submerged ruins of Atlantis. If he can find the seed and replant it, this magical tree, when it blossoms, will release a flood of spiritual energy that will transform the planet, ushering in a golden age of enlightened consciousness. But the only ones who know how to find Atlantis are Nefarious, the evil wizard, and Joe, the most fearsome dragon in the universe.

Thirteen years ago Oliver's father died in a battle against Red Line, the nasty dragon that plagued Aardland. Oliver has since grown into a very large man with little ambition, earning him a new name: The Lump. When Flynn, a glory seeking adventurer, and Meena, a mysterious foreign girl, arrive with news that Red Line has stirred once again, the Lump finds himself reluctantly embroiled in a quest to defeat the dragon.

When a brutal war comes to Gal’azu, Og-Grim-Dog believe things can’t get any worse. They’re wrong. For the dead now walk the land. As the world around them begins to disintegrate, Og-Grim-Dog face their greatest challenge yet. Can they survive the apocalypse?

This is a humorous, episodic novel of dark fantasy and science fiction, composed of the four novellas Amy and the Ankylosaurus, Helen and the Evil Elves of the Elder Gods, Sithe in the City, and Dragon vs Dinosaur. It begins when Magnus creates a device to open portals to other quantum universes so he can show his ex-girlfriend, Amy, real dinosaurs. This goes awry when Amy goes through the portal and he has to rescue her, accompanied by his fellow scientist Helen, Amy's best friend.

Sir Maximilian Maselniczka isn't your typical knight. True, he's dashing, brave, and courageous. Then again, he talks to his horse, he's been known to burn castles down, and he's on the gallop from debts he owes the Bohemian mob. So Maximilian jumps at the chance to earn sacks of gold from King Bronislaw Jankowski. All for performing a little rescue mission. But it's not the typical knightly errand - to rescue the damsel from the dragon. No, this time he's going to have to rescue the kingdom's dragon from the King's extremely magical, extremely powerful, and extremely pissed-off daughter. Who said being a knight was easy?