Showing results by author "Kirk Mason" in All Categories

Running a VHS store was supposed to be easy. Just me, my emotionally unreadable co-owner Emiko, and rows of dusty tapes nobody rewinds anymore. But then a pink-haired girl dropped off a 'top secret' tape and told me not to watch it.

My career as a realtor bored me, except for when I got to test my handyman skills. So, when I finally saved enough, I purchased the most rundown manor I could find. The problem? A few guests rest within its walls. Repairing the mansion is the challenge I craved, but a string of vandalisms keeps us on edge. Someone, or something, doesn’t want us living here. It turns out Sunnyside won’t be as peaceful as I expected.

Harlen knew he was meant for more than bounty hunting on a dusty desert planet—especially since he had escaped from a crazy cult tower on Earth-2 when he was younger. Can’t forget that in a hurry. But on Caria, the hot ginger barmaid ain’t bad to look at. Life is fine for Harlen. He gets paid, he drinks. He doesn’t need to go anywhere. That was until a girl from his past shows up, and she’s glowed up. Savannah was always cute before, but now she’s got white hair and eyes, as befit the order. She’s also gotten more adept at using her powers.

Everyone with the gift is going to the academy. Not me. I'll master magic my own way. School was a chore. All I wanted was to become a magus, enter the academy, and train my chosen affinity. But I didn't pass the test. They said I didn't have it in me. Years later, a run-in with a sassy goth mage named Misty revealed I could do magic. Those damn monocle-wearing pseudo-Victorians at the academy locked me out! Screw them.

Life as a blacksmith’s son was simple. Hammer steel, make deliveries, and court the cute baker down the street. My respectable future lay before me. Then, I was attacked by a giant monster. I had to fight for my life, and I won. Something awakened in me that day, something kept hidden by my father. It gave me strength, speed, and other secret powers. Before he could explain, a fist pounded on the door. It was the Knights of Elsara! Or, as the common folk called them, slayers.

Henry was just an ordinary tavern keeper, helping to run the doomed family business. When the Royal Tradesmen's Ball rolled around, he—like usual—wanted nothing to do with it. But the fourth-in-line Lady Garnet offered him a proposal. She wished to shock her family with an outrageous stunt: appearing to court a commoner. He agreed on one condition: no more strangling the tavern.

When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.

In a world like ours—except there's elves and goblins, so way better—Michael is dealing with some very human problems. He just fired his useless nephew as his tomb-raiding assistant. On top of that, his uncle's fallen ill, so he's got to uproot his life to look after the business, an antique shop in the city. It's full of artifacts from the age of heroes. Swords, gems, and helmets galore.

School was a chore. All I wanted was to become a magus, enter the academy, and train my chosen affinity. But I didn't pass the test. They said I didn't have it in me. Years later, a run-in with a sassy goth mage named Misty revealed I could do magic. Those damn monocle-wearing pseudo-Victorians at the academy locked me out! Screw them.

My career as a realtor bored me, except for when I got to test my handyman skills. So, when I finally saved enough, I purchased the most rundown manor I could find to scratch the itch. The problem? A few guests rest within its walls who pique my interest in the most delightful ways.

I was about to be promoted to Deputy Manager, when a strange voice—coming from a glowing gem I found in the stationery drawer—told me I was meant for more. I was thinking the same thing. Before my boss' eyes, I was transported to a fantasy world of mana and monsters. When I felled the foul beasts, the gem embedded in my hand absorbed their essence—a light that made me more adept with weapons, and able to wield increasingly better ones. It even grew my body. It turned me into the man I was supposed to be.

Our retro-tech towns might seem idyllic, yet go beyond the arcades and coffee shops and you'll reach the danger zones roamed by bionic bots. Me? I ran a video store with my cute friend Emiko. She's always been a little different, so I had to look out for her—we usually just watched movies and played games together. One day, a suspicious pink-haired chick burst into the store, warning me not to watch a tape labeled Property of Steelheart—Do Not Watch! So obviously, I did, and a terrifying ghost crawled out of the screen.

My slayer journey continues, fighting unfathomable beasts and finding unimaginable love. I thought my first year would be all studying, but there's a lot more practical activity in this academy. For me, anyway. Hunting ghosts in a noble's palace, flying across castle walls under the tutelage of a half-mermaid. There's never a quiet day, or night. When's a student supposed to sleep?

I'm chilling behind the counter while a thicc goth babe saunters amongst the magical merchandise. Possessing a mysterious new power is pretty cool, too, especially when I'm the only person in the world who can wield it.

The bionic bots that roamed the danger zones cowered before my biomancy, yet the real threat was a little more human. See, the beautiful poltergeist haunting my mind created a real-life, legally distinct mimic monster, and now it wasn’t just the fabric of reality I had to contend with—it was lawsuits from its parent company, run by a smoking-hot boss lady. Between that, a cute secret agent on the run (partly my fault), and the boss of Steelheart gunning for my shop (mostly my fault), I really had my hands full.

One moment I'm taking pictures of a fantastic sky beast, aided by a sassy witch, a pretty blonde, and a cute green goblin. The next we’re in bed for the night—and I can't get a lick of covers! This house is too small. It wasn’t meant for this many people and a bestiary business. Problem is, not a lot of folk want a goblin and a witch in their neighborhood. It’s hard to blame them. We can be loud.

The best part about being a knight is the peaceful treks across rolling hills, with nothing but gentle winds and bubbling streams for company. Unfortunately, Richard's next quest breaks that solitude. He needs to gain entry into the fabled Clawmire, and only a flighty catgirl heading the opposite way can help him. Ida is snooty and feral in equal measure. When she hunts, the wildness in her eyes ignites something inside him. When she cooks, his stomach sings an orchestra. And when she leaps into the trees wearing that short purple dress, well, a gentleman does his best not to look up.

Siege the castle? Not my style. Save the world? Never gonna happen. Create a bestiary business with a group of beautiful yet contrasting women? Now that’s more like it! One minute I’m in a tree, pointing my camera at a tiger, the next I’m on my back in a medieval fantasy world, while a skittish blonde hovers over me, hoping I’m not dead.

Legions of regular folk are angry at us for having what they cannot. It's up to me to lead the magi and sort out this mess, but I'm not alone. Sophia's position as headmaster of the academy will come in handy, and Misty...well, she's still a hot goth babe. And then maybe we can get back to the shop. Battlebabe Blair and ginger Frenchie Charlotte still haven't seen it.

Collected for the first and only time, are these three stories by Kirk Mason! Devour the two interconnected books A Tale of Tail Brushing and Big City Goth GF, and then chase with the standalone, Knight's Bane!