Showing results by narrator "John R." in All Categories

The drought on Hank’s ranch has finally ended, and it’s a beautiful spring day. In fact, it’s the kind of day in which the head of ranch security really wouldn’t expect to find himself protecting the ranch from bloodthirsty mosquitoes, doing toad duty, or, most especially of all, standing between his cowboy friends and a sick and angry cow. However, that’s exactly what happens when Miss Viola asks Slim and Hank to help Woodrow haul a cow to the veterinarian. And, what begins as a simple job soon turns into a circus when the cow proves to be a little more clever than anyone anticipated.

Pete the Barncat isn’t known for his reliable story-telling, but when his report about a strange, tree-devouring creature is corroborated by another source - namely J. T. Cluck, the ranch’s head rooster - Hank decides to investigate. However, just as the plot begins to thicken, Pete claims that it was all a joke and that the creature, a Three-Toed Tree Sloth, was really just a porcupine! Fortunately, Hank realizes that that’s just what a sneaky cat would say to throw him off the trail.

Mission: nearly impossible. As the Head of Ranch Security, Hank the Cowdog has seen his share of tough weather. So when a raging, swirling blizzard shuts down the ranch and Hank is stranded out at Slim's cabin, he isn't fazed one bit. At least, not until a phone call from the ranch house brings an emergency directive.

How do you spell trouble? R-A-M-B-O. After a brilliant use of the Syruptishus Loaderation maneuver, Hank the Cowdog wins himself a free ride into town. But when the ticket turns out to be one-way, the trouble begins for the head of ranch security.

It seems that Hank's beloved sister and her children are the target of malicious threats from the neighborhood bully, a Great Dane named Rambo.

Hank the Cowdog could have told Slim that bringing an orphaned raccoon back to the ranch was not the best idea. But since Slim never pays any attention to Hank, Loper, and Sally May soon find themselves housing an adolescent coon with a mischievous streak a mile wide.

These are the stories of three boys living in Texas: one growing up, one dreaming, and one fighting to stay alive in the face of destitution and adversity. There's second-grader William, a shy yet imaginative boy who schemes about how to get back at his school-yard bully, Randy. Then there's Sam, a 15-year-old boy who dreams of getting a 1980 Mazda RX-7 for his 16th birthday but has to work at a Greek restaurant to fund his dream. Finally, there's Seff, a 21-year-old on the brink of manhood, trying to survive along with his roommate, working as waiters and barely making ends meet.

It's early springtime on the ranch, and Hank is going through the usual motions of making sure that a warm spring arrives safely: singing songs about it, barking faithfully each morning, and helping the cowboys with their work around the ranch. However, in the midst of a particularly hard day's nap, he receives a report that his little birdy friend, Madame Moonshine, is in danger of being eaten by Pete the Barncat! Naturally, Hank springs into action to save her, but a misstep brings the wrath of Sally May down on him, and Hank must flee the scene and travel west on the Oregon Trail.

No sooner has Sally May finished planting her vegetable garden when some kind of unearthly being decides to burrow in the neatly planted rows of tomatoes and peppers. It looks like a job for the Head of Ranch Security, so Hank sets straight to work trying to dig the space monster robot out of its hole.

Tis the season for chaos. It's the night before Christmas, and Hank the Cowdog, head of ranch security, is looking forward to a long winter's nap when duty calls him to accompany Slim into town for a last-minute shopping spree. Along the way, Hank and the gang are struck not only by the meaning of Christmas but also by a 25-pound buzzard who crashes through their windshield.

Guilty until proven innocent? Who - or what - has been killing chickens on the ranch? And what is Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, going to do about it? Using his top-notch law enforcement skills, Hank launches one of the hardest-hitting investigations of his career. No one is to be trusted, and everyone is a suspect - even Hank!

Hank the Cowdog and his trusty partner, Drover, are just beginning their latest investigation when a pirate suddenly appears on the front porch! Has the ranch really been set upon by one-legged men of the sea? Hank and Drover soon realize that the pirate is just Little Alfred in disguise.

To cheat or not to cheat? That is just one of the questions to be answered on the ranch! While interrogating J. T. Cluck, will Hank be able to figure out what scary creatures are planning an attack on the ranch? After Hank lures Pete the Barncat into making a foolish bet for scraps, would Pete try to cheat the Head of Ranch Security? Will truth and justice win in the end?

Happy the Lab is back on the ranch, and it looks like he’s up to his usual good-natured, bumbling ways! And, it just so happens that he has wandered onto Hank’s ranch on a particularly exciting day: rain has finally come to their drought-stricken land, and - what’s even more exciting - radio reports claim that there’s a mountain lion on the prowl in their area! As the day unfolds, it appears that the mountain lion report was bogus, which is a good thing, since Hank already has his paws full surviving a bout of food-poisoning and a treacherous investigation of the machine shed.

It’s early January on Hank’s ranch when Slim and Loper receive word that an ice storm is headed their way. However, just as they’re about to prepare the cattle and stock tanks at the ranch to safely weather the storm, Deputy Kile calls with some bad news. It seems that one of their electric fences has short-circuited, and some of their wheat pasture steers have strayed into town and onto the Twitchell golf course! Slim saddles up his horse and heads off to retrieve the steers, but a few mishaps delay his cowboying just long enough to coat Twitchell in ice....

Sometimes I take an opportunity to say good-bye to the cattle and wish them a safe journey. "Well, good-bye, you morons. It was nice having you here at the ranch, but it'll be even nicer having you gone. You ate all our grass and taking care of you was a pain in the neck. Good-bye, good riddance, and don't ever come back."

Love doesn't come easy. Duped by Drover, mocked by Pete the Barncat, and busted yet again by Sally May, the Head of Ranch Security decides it's time for a break from the grueling daily grind. Heading into the wild outback, Hank goes in search of his true love, the charming Miss Beulah.

After Pete the Barncat starts a rumor about a Phantom Dog in the machine shed, Hank the Cowdog - the head of ranch security - decides that he better check it out. And sure enough, when Hank takes a peek into the shadows, he sees the meanest, toughest, stupidest dog he's ever seen.

Everyone loves Drover, Hank's trusty sidekick. But have you ever wondered what the little, white, stub-tailed dog's life was like before he came to the ranch? Well, it's all here, in Drover's own words. Scratching his story out in the dirt on the machine shed floor, Drover comes clean about his secret life--from his early days as runt of the litter, to his frustrating search for a job, to his ultimate position as Hank's right-paw man.

When Sally May and Loper head out of town for a wedding, Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, knows it's up to him to keep things under control. After subjecting strawberry ice cream to rigorous product testing, test-driving a mysterious spaceship, and thwarting a sneak attack from a couch monster, Hank faces the fight of his life.

Fall is an important time of year on a ranch, mostly because it means that winter is coming soon! And, on Hank’s ranch, that means that the cake house is about to be filled with bags of feed to get the cattle through the long frozen days ahead. Unfortunately, this particular feed-delivery is accompanied by a town mutt named Roy, who gets Hank into big trouble with some local yellow jacket wasps.