Showing results by author "Andy" in All Categories

Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.

Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.

Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.

Welcome to Hell—where nobody can ever quite catch the barman's eye. In this collection, which contains all seven series of Old Harry's Game, get ready for some wicked one-liners and scorching satire. Satan is fed up after a millennia in charge of Hell, especially given the prospect of an eternity still running the damned place. Although he does enjoy playing pranks on the world of the living and devising wry torments for the souls in his keeping, he often wistfully recalls his past as an archangel.

As the Indomitus Crusade begins, fleets of mighty warships leave Terra on a vital quest to stabilise Imperium Sanctus in the wake of the Great Rift. The returned primarch, Roboute Guilliman, leads a huge force towards the shrine world of Gathalamor, where stable warp routes will allow the flotilla to spread across the beleaguered southern half of the Imperium.

Kullen is the emperor’s assassin. The sharp hand of justice. The Black Talon. Gifted a soul-forged bond with his dragon, Umbris, Kullen is tasked with hunting any and all who oppose the empire. But when the secretive Crimson Fang murders two noblemen before his very eyes, Kullen must discover the truth of who they are and what they want. What he uncovers is a web of lies and deceit spiraling into the depths of Dimvein.

Join Andy and Terry in their spectacular new 78-storey treehouse. They've added 13 new levels, including a drive-thru car wash, a combining machine, a scribbletorium, an all-ball sports stadium, Andyland, Terrytown, a high-security potato chip storage facility and an open-air movie theatre. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

Is this the right book for you? Take the Crazy Test and find out. Do you bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling? Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you? Do you like to read stories about kittens, puppies and ponies getting mashed and pulverised? Do you sometimes get the urge to take your clothes off and cover yourself in mud? Do you often waste your time on tests like this one?

Is this the right book for you? Take the annoying test and find out. Do you ask 'Are we there yet?' over and over on long car trips? Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do? Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water? Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers? Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance?

The seventh laugh-out-loud and wacky adventure in the world's most awesome treehouse! Join Andy and Terry in their now 91-storey spectacular treehouse. They've added 13 new levels, including the world's most powerful whirlpool, a mashed-potato-and-gravy train and a human pinball machine. Why not try your luck on the spin-and-win prize wheel, hang out in a giant spider web (with a giant spider), or eat a submarine sandwich the size of an actual submarine?

Andy and Danny boldly go where sensible people fear to tread. Just how stupid can two human beings be? Just Stupid! provides the answer to this vexing and important question. Winner of AudioFile's Earphones Award - 2005.

Ever tried to get out of going to school by pretending that you're dead? Ever managed to convince a friend that they're invisible? Ever been stuck in a gorilla suit and nearly put in a zoo? Andy has. Andy's the greatest practical joker in the world ... well, almost. He would be, if only his practical jokes didn't have the annoying habit of backfiring on him.

WINNER OF THE ABIA BOOK OF THE YEAR FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN 2019 Join Andy and Terry in their wonderfully wild and wacky 104-storey treehouse. You can throw some refrigerators, make some money with the money-making machine (or honey if you'd prefer-it makes that too), climb the never-ending...

Immediate Action is a no-holds-barred account of an extraordinary life, from the day Andy McNab was found in a carrier bag on the steps of Guy's Hospital to the day he went to fight in the Gulf War. As a delinquent youth he kicked against society. As a young soldier he waged war against the IRA...

The battle grows dire. The death toll rises. The end is nigh. Natisse, believing Kullen has fallen to a traitor’s blade, fights on to honor his memory and to complete his final mission: to save their Empire from the enemy fleet threatening destruction. Together with Golgoth, she must stand before the very fires of Hell to protect the city and people she has come to love.

Andy and Terry's incredible, ever-expanding treehouse has 13 new storeys, including a watermelon-smashing level, a wave machine, a life-size snake- and-ladders game (with real ladders and real snakes), a rocket-powered carrot-launcher, a Ninja Snail Training Academy, and a high-tech detective agency with all the latest high-tech detective technology, which is lucky because they have a big mystery to solve - where is Mr Big Nose? Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

An IT whiz at the Babylon Casino is enlisted to upgrade security for the game of keno and its random-number generator. The new quantum computer system is foolproof. But someone on the inside is no fool. For once the odds may not favor the house - unless human ingenuity isn’t entirely a thing of the past.

The war for warp-cursed Croatoas rages on. Hailed as 'Giant-killers' for their heroics during Operation Jotunn, Lieutenant Commander Hadeya Etsul and the crew of the Leman Russ Demolisher Steel Tread are hurled right back into battle. Assigned command of a convoy of armour and infantry, Etsul is tasked with escorting a legendary lord commissar through contested territory to stabilise the wavering Ruega Front.

Collected for the first time anywhere, the nine tales in The Egg and Other Stories highlight Andy Weir's trademark wit and unexpected twists. For the few who have yet to experience The Martian, it's a perfect appetizer. For passionate Weir fans, it's a delicious dessert.

Ultrarunner Andy Glaze has spent years moving through landscapes that test the limits of the human body—hundred-mile races, multi-day marathons, mountains and deserts that demanded everything. But the toughest endurance challenge Andy faced wasn’t found in any of those miles, it was in rebuilding a life shattered by addiction, institutional abuse, and a childhood full of chaos. This is the unfiltered story of how a kid fell hard but got back up even harder.