Showing titles in Humorous

Saving the Earth is just the beginning in this comedic free-for-all. “Darkness travels at the speed of light” so the gang needs to get ready, stop getting distracted, stay on budget, and what were those other things? Right, stop getting distracted.

Spreadsheets are spells. Dragons are unionized. Nachos are a sacrament. Buckle up. When actuary Ptolemy “Tolly” Blackthorne inherits his grandmother’s scarf—a knitted, contraband probability anchor—he also inherits her secret: a multi-dimensional dragon-racing circuit that runs on risk, wit, and a frankly alarming amount of nacho cheese. Tolly’s talent for modeling disaster was supposed to keep him safe; instead it drafts him into a portal-hopping season where vertical Niagara roars upward, magma judges enforce “Fun is mandatory,” and Mars rovers form a picket line for better dental.

When MIT physicist Dr. Velcro Threadbare builds a Sock Singularity Engine to solve the mystery of missing socks, she accidentally tears a hole in the fabric of reality—literally. Now socks across the multiverse have gained sentience, and they're not happy. The matched wage war against the unmatched. A pug named Sir Barksalot becomes the Sock Pope, preaching liberation through deliberate mispairing. Criminal flamingo syndicates trade in celebrity sock radiation.

Do you fit in? Me neither. I wrote these stories for weirdos like you and me. A messed up kid keeps a mightily upset alien prisoner in his barn. Carnage ensues. A hunter pairs up with a mysterious girl to track down a terrifying humanoid predator. Carnage ensues. Aliens commandeer the body of the wrong Taylor Swift. Carnage ensues. A marshmallow toasting fork turns out to be a sacred relic of an alien empire. Carnage ensues. You get the idea. One of these short stories isn’t very short, but I included it anyway.

“I know Artificial Intelligence has fewer calories, but it just doesn’t taste as good.” The Zoomarble Madcap Space Adventure Series concludes with Book 3, Scrapes the Nadir. Ride along on missions through odd new worlds packed with action, bad people, massive weaponry, monkey creatures, quantum security, medieval food trucks, robots, wizards, robot wizards, fat fascists, cranky waiters, and dragocorns. Get immersed in deep concepts that are science adjacent, further blurring the lines between technology and magic. Join the gang as they try their best not to get distracted.

Good morning Anthony! Anthony is preparing for his eventual Ph.D. defense in anthropology. In less than a week, he’ll orbiting the planet Proxima Centauri b with five spacefaring races, known only to the US Space Command. The military will task him with profiling the aliens for their own dubious motives. His every action will be scrutinized by friends and foes alike. Anthony is not ready for this.

In the year 2475, the remnants of humanity have taken to the skies, inhabiting massive domed cities that hover five miles over the ruined ecological disaster of old Earth. The Powers That Be, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the few million people left deserved to live their best lives, so they gave each sub-orbital platform its own theme and legally enforced tech level.

All The Human had to do was turn over his latest bounty to the local authorities and collect his fee. But when it turns out that no one in the galaxy wants to take possession of the criminal, Adam is left with no choice but to transport him a quarter of the way across the galaxy, from the renegade planet Sinalus to Unidor Security's headquarters on Tactori. The problem . . . it seems everybody and their brother are trying to stop him from completing his mission, both the good guys and the bad guys. What do they know that The Human doesn't?

“What do you do when a stranger disintegrates right in front of you?” wondered 11-year-old Steve, to whom this had just happened. Two decades later, Steve is a physicist, but he still struggles with the consequences of this mysterious experience. When everything is at stake, he must use all his expertise to find the truth – not just to save the world, but to save the one he loves. But the deeper he digs, the more he risks – not just his sanity, but his life. Life takes a dramatic turn for Steve, his friends and enemies as they delve deeper into a secret that could change everything.

When an unsuspecting reader opens a simple paperback, he discovers bizarre phrases that seem to describe humans casually removing eyes, hands, and limbs as if it were nothing. Horrified, he becomes convinced he has stumbled onto a hidden truth: alien beings who can detach their body parts walk among us—and the book is their confession.

If you're an alien traveler seeking adventure (or just stranded by a malfunctioning space cruiser), this is your ultimate guide to surviving Earth with your dignity mostly intact. Written with wit, sarcasm, and mild concern for your safety, A Guide to the Planet Earth for Aliens is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, The Martian, and anyone who’s ever felt like Earth might be trying to kill them… but still wants to visit again.

Strak is a run-of-the-mill Orcus Empire recruit whose days are filled with following orders, patrolling corridors, and stamping papers. When he’s captured by the most-wanted space pirate in the galaxy, he assumes (quite logically) that the end is nigh. Instead, he finds himself…spearheading a birthday celebration for said space-pirate’s 12-year-old daughter?

First Runner Up, Science Fiction & Fantasy, 2024 Eric Hoffer Award & Grand Prize Shortlist Finalist! Aliens have hatched a rockstar. Brain extractions, falling body parts, and blood-vessel explosions are the norm. Alex’s dream job has turned into a nightmare. What should she do? It's the 1990s. Alex arrives at Acht Records, her improbable blonde hair streaked stress magenta and anger black. Her first duty is to wipe blood off her boss's walls. It goes downhill from there. Rock Gods & Messy Monsters is a humorous story about life inside a record company.

The aliens came to Earth with a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our Earthbound pageants. But we are invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earth's delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition.

On the one day of the year when Bentley returns to the factory for a tune-up, Cyril's Aunt Hypatia enlists him in a complex scheme. All is not as it seems, however- there are plots within plots- which all come to a head within the terrifying twists of The Labyrinth!

Earth’s been toast for five years—ever since the aliens showed up, killed half the population, and penned the rest like cattle. Master Sergeant Sol Winters leads a ragtag resistance team that’s barely clinging to relevance, when an alien ship crashes in his backyard carrying the princess of the empire and her grumpy bodyguard. She claims she’s here to make peace. Sol’s pretty sure she’s lying—but if she’s not, she might be humanity’s only shot at survival.

May’s career as an interstellar rocket racer is just ramping up. She’s got a stunning ship, her best friend Xan for a co-pilot, and a rocket-full of winnings. But obscenely good luck can’t last forever, and May has been racing in a stolen ship. When Xan’s arrested by a tea-sipping, goddess-possessed pink robot for a crime he can’t bring himself to explain without baking analogies, May’s career is over. With the help of an adventure biologist and her freshly un-dead girlfriend, May and Xan must find a way to change the past before the goddess of Chaos squashes everything May loves.

Sharks. In space. It's exactly what you think it is. What more do you want?

Witty, heartfelt, deeply weird, and utterly original, Mr. Yay explores how we grapple with inexplicable sudden shifts in the world around us, and the conspiracy theories and identity crises they birth. If the past we remember has changed, are we who we think we are? Is anyone?

Fresh from their narrow escape from the Zelnads, Geddy and his motley crew find themselves thrust into the spotlight at the galaxy's most prestigious trade show. Here, a clandestine assembly of the universe's most influential figures convenes to assess the growing Zelnad threat. As unexpected alliances form and potential allies emerge, hope flickers for a much-needed victory against the enigmatic aliens. But the Zelnads, always two steps ahead, unleash their most insidious weapon yet: branding.