Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humorous

What if you went to heaven and no one there believed in Earth? This is the question at the heart of Beforelife, a satirical novel that follows the postmortem adventures of widower Ian Brown, a man who dies in the book’s first moments and finds himself in an afterlife where no one else believes in “pre-incarnation”. The other residents of the afterlife have mysteriously forgotten their premortem lives and think that anyone who remembers a mortal life is suffering from a mental disorder called the “Beforelife Delusion”.

Through strange metaphysical circumstances, failed screenwriter Brad Cohen finds himself caught in an infinite time loop, forced to relive the first forty years of his life again and again. Each "repeat," Brad wakes up in the womb on what was supposed to be his fortieth birthday, with full knowledge of what's come before. In various timelines, he becomes a successful political pundit, a game-show champion, a playboy, and a master manipulator of the stock market, but none of them seems to lead him out of his predicament.

It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday. But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, he is tapped by the president for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it. The problem is - Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.

A year has passed since the disastrous Elysium massacre that left Keiko "Kei" Springs traumatized and hungry for revenge against her former mentor, Snake. However, going after the world's second most powerful man is not as easy as it sounds. Kei must make a series of deadly alliances and navigate the complicated web of politics that will give her a chance to take him down. But will going after him destroy the family she's managed to build?

Gormon Hughes has elevated himself. Twenty-odd years ago, he was a desperate young man, broken-hearted and in danger of being literally eaten alive by debt collectors. Ten years ago, he helped untangle the mystery of the Spring-Heeled Jane murders. Now he is the President-Elect of his home country. He has a daughter. He has a multi-world-spanning conflict on his hands.

Comedian Olga Koch has a masters degree in the social science of the Internet and can turn almost any file into a PDF. In these three series, she looks at life through the eyes of a computer scientist, taking the universal truths you hold dear and tearing them to shreds using logic. With the help of her sassy digital assistant ALGO (played by Sindhu Vee and Tia Kofi), she uses stand-up and storytelling to unpack concepts such as Nationality, Beauty, Health, Privacy, Fun, Intelligence, Friendship and Family.

Do you fit in? Me neither. I wrote these stories for weirdos like you and me. A messed up kid keeps a mightily upset alien prisoner in his barn. Carnage ensues. A hunter pairs up with a mysterious girl to track down a terrifying humanoid predator. Carnage ensues. Aliens commandeer the body of the wrong Taylor Swift. Carnage ensues. A marshmallow toasting fork turns out to be a sacred relic of an alien empire. Carnage ensues. You get the idea. One of these short stories isn’t very short, but I included it anyway.

Barry and Lich are two high school outcasts living as much of a life as they can in the small town of Grafting, Michigan, circa 1995. Life ain’t great, but it ain’t too bad either. That is, until the Grafting quake hits and a strange man heading a secretive organization shows up with an army of brilliant minds, highly trained mercenaries, and a monster that’s crawled straight from the realm of nightmares. As it turns out, reality is starting to tear, and things from another dimension are starting to pop up—things with really bad intentions.

“I know Artificial Intelligence has fewer calories, but it just doesn’t taste as good.” The Zoomarble Madcap Space Adventure Series concludes with Book 3, Scrapes the Nadir. Ride along on missions through odd new worlds packed with action, bad people, massive weaponry, monkey creatures, quantum security, medieval food trucks, robots, wizards, robot wizards, fat fascists, cranky waiters, and dragocorns. Get immersed in deep concepts that are science adjacent, further blurring the lines between technology and magic. Join the gang as they try their best not to get distracted.

Strak is a run-of-the-mill Orcus Empire recruit whose days are filled with following orders, patrolling corridors, and stamping papers. When he’s captured by the most-wanted space pirate in the galaxy, he assumes (quite logically) that the end is nigh. Instead, he finds himself…spearheading a birthday celebration for said space-pirate’s 12-year-old daughter?

First Runner Up, Science Fiction & Fantasy, 2024 Eric Hoffer Award & Grand Prize Shortlist Finalist! Aliens have hatched a rockstar. Brain extractions, falling body parts, and blood-vessel explosions are the norm. Alex’s dream job has turned into a nightmare. What should she do? It's the 1990s. Alex arrives at Acht Records, her improbable blonde hair streaked stress magenta and anger black. Her first duty is to wipe blood off her boss's walls. It goes downhill from there. Rock Gods & Messy Monsters is a humorous story about life inside a record company.

The aliens came to Earth with a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our Earthbound pageants. But we are invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earth's delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition.

On the one day of the year when Bentley returns to the factory for a tune-up, Cyril's Aunt Hypatia enlists him in a complex scheme. All is not as it seems, however- there are plots within plots- which all come to a head within the terrifying twists of The Labyrinth!

Beverly Cryer (Vurl) has to choose a dystopian faction to live with for the rest of her life. If she doesn't make it through initiation, she'll be factionless and declared a Detergent. But, Vurl is determined not to spend the rest of her life doing everyone else's laundry. She is an independent young woman with skills she doesn't even know about and with the help of handsome number Two she'll not only make it through initiation, she'll save the city from disaster.

In the year 2475, the remnants of humanity have taken to the skies, inhabiting massive domed cities that hover five miles over the ruined ecological disaster of old Earth. The Powers That Be, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the few million people left deserved to live their best lives, so they gave each sub-orbital platform its own theme and legally enforced tech level.

All The Human had to do was turn over his latest bounty to the local authorities and collect his fee. But when it turns out that no one in the galaxy wants to take possession of the criminal, Adam is left with no choice but to transport him a quarter of the way across the galaxy, from the renegade planet Sinalus to Unidor Security's headquarters on Tactori. The problem . . . it seems everybody and their brother are trying to stop him from completing his mission, both the good guys and the bad guys. What do they know that The Human doesn't?

At age 10, Jenni Farrow and her new best friend, Timmy Caruso, enjoy a glorious summer on Pearl Island filled with fireworks, beach days, and carnival rides (not to mention that strange sea creature they rescue from a tide pool). Then, one late summer day, Timmy disappears. Thirty years later, Jenni—now Jenn Lanaro, best-selling author of the Philipia Bay action-romance series—is desperate to escape the fatigue of her career and her soon-to-be-ex-husband.

The fighting may be over, but the war goes on. Quietly. Fighting doesn't always involve guns, and the upcoming elections for Imperial senate stress alliances that aren't up for much stress. Admiral, Dashi, Jose, Marianne and their allies continue maneuvering for advantage. Lying, cheating and stealing are legitimate political tactics. But when the unexpected happens just after the election, every faction is left deciding who they really are loyal to- the empire? Or themselves?

Adam Cain: Bounty Hunter, Mercenary, Bodyguard. In his line of work, Adam makes a lot of enemies. The problem: Enemies have long memories. And when someone comes after Adam seeking revenge for his past deeds, things get a little dicey. The problem for Adam's enemies: They're going up against The Human. And because of that, Adam has only one question for them: "Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?" That's right. Adam isn't your ordinary target, and now it's a game of back and forth between the hunter and the hunted, with the roles changing in rapid-fire succession.

This wasn't like Adam Cain—AKA: The Human for Hire. He wasn't supposed to be compassionate and caring. But for some reason, he'd taken the former Third-Generation Human John Martinez under his wing and was now determined to show him what the real Human race was all about. As a 3G, Martinez had been raised by the Klin to believe a completely false narrative about his native race. But having never been to Earth—and after only a few tragic encounters with other Humans—what was Martinez to believe?