Showing titles in Humorous

They threw him in a desert hell with one rule — fight to the death or get scrapped. Now T.E.D.D., the glitchy trash droid who’s done taking orders, is trapped in Sector Zero, where the Manager forces humans and machines into brutal bloodsport. Friends could become executioners — or corpses beside him. There’s no walking away. Outsmart the arena, or rust in the sand. Because in Sector Zero, the deadliest enemy isn’t the droids, the humans, or even the Manager. It’s the choice Tedd must make.

Jake and Nadine are searching for the last reported outpost of Imperial power. But times have changed since the abandonment. Bases are not where they should be, and people are where they shouldn't. After getting shanghaied into local politics, Jake and Nadine find themselves in a civil war—on opposite sides! How can one win without the other losing?

Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets to our existence are out there. Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his world turned upside down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!

Triana Moore, maintenance bot technician on Station Kelly-Kornienko, prefers life in orbit where the air is purified, the commute is short, and nature doesn’t get all over you. But when a minor infraction gets her sent to remedial training dirtside, she doesn’t complain. Who wouldn’t enjoy a few days of sitting in the sunshine, eating gourmet burgers, and drinking too much Jager Hula?

Private investigator Frank Harken’s worldwide fame has only made him more cynical. And living in a giant mall covering the entire USA only serves to drive him nuts on a daily basis. So, when a femme fatale barges in asking Harken to track down her sister, he knows when he’s heard an offer too good to be true.

Doug wasn’t sure whether he should trust Satan. The red flag was that he said he was Satan. But the deal was good: Listen to Satan’s story in exchange for some donuts. And Doug only half-fulfilled his part of the bargain. But maybe he should have listened better, because during his friend Bryce’s next scheme (theft with light to moderate treason - the usual), Doug and the rest of his friends - Lulu (the fun one) and Charlene (the not fun one) - end up with a powerful artifact, a small metal cube with world-ending power that Lulu decorated with bunnies.

Hal Spacejock’s cargo business is going so well he’s considering getting into passengers...especially the beautiful and mysterious Sonya Polarov. Clunk's certain she's up to something, but as usual Hal won't listen to a word he says.... Meanwhile, Rex Curtis runs the galaxy’s biggest freight company, and he’s sick of independent pilots stealing his cargo jobs. He’s determined to make a statement by destroying the biggest nuisance of them all: Hal Spacejock.

What if you went to heaven and no one there believed in Earth? This is the question at the heart of Beforelife, a satirical novel that follows the postmortem adventures of widower Ian Brown, a man who dies in the book’s first moments and finds himself in an afterlife where no one else believes in “pre-incarnation”. The other residents of the afterlife have mysteriously forgotten their premortem lives and think that anyone who remembers a mortal life is suffering from a mental disorder called the “Beforelife Delusion”.

Through strange metaphysical circumstances, failed screenwriter Brad Cohen finds himself caught in an infinite time loop, forced to relive the first forty years of his life again and again. Each "repeat," Brad wakes up in the womb on what was supposed to be his fortieth birthday, with full knowledge of what's come before. In various timelines, he becomes a successful political pundit, a game-show champion, a playboy, and a master manipulator of the stock market, but none of them seems to lead him out of his predicament.

It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday. But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, he is tapped by the president for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it. The problem is - Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.

Do you fit in? Me neither. I wrote these stories for weirdos like you and me. A messed up kid keeps a mightily upset alien prisoner in his barn. Carnage ensues. A hunter pairs up with a mysterious girl to track down a terrifying humanoid predator. Carnage ensues. Aliens commandeer the body of the wrong Taylor Swift. Carnage ensues. A marshmallow toasting fork turns out to be a sacred relic of an alien empire. Carnage ensues. You get the idea. One of these short stories isn’t very short, but I included it anyway.

Barry and Lich are two high school outcasts living as much of a life as they can in the small town of Grafting, Michigan, circa 1995. Life ain’t great, but it ain’t too bad either. That is, until the Grafting quake hits and a strange man heading a secretive organization shows up with an army of brilliant minds, highly trained mercenaries, and a monster that’s crawled straight from the realm of nightmares. As it turns out, reality is starting to tear, and things from another dimension are starting to pop up—things with really bad intentions.

“I know Artificial Intelligence has fewer calories, but it just doesn’t taste as good.” The Zoomarble Madcap Space Adventure Series concludes with Book 3, Scrapes the Nadir. Ride along on missions through odd new worlds packed with action, bad people, massive weaponry, monkey creatures, quantum security, medieval food trucks, robots, wizards, robot wizards, fat fascists, cranky waiters, and dragocorns. Get immersed in deep concepts that are science adjacent, further blurring the lines between technology and magic. Join the gang as they try their best not to get distracted.

Strak is a run-of-the-mill Orcus Empire recruit whose days are filled with following orders, patrolling corridors, and stamping papers. When he’s captured by the most-wanted space pirate in the galaxy, he assumes (quite logically) that the end is nigh. Instead, he finds himself…spearheading a birthday celebration for said space-pirate’s 12-year-old daughter?

First Runner Up, Science Fiction & Fantasy, 2024 Eric Hoffer Award & Grand Prize Shortlist Finalist! Aliens have hatched a rockstar. Brain extractions, falling body parts, and blood-vessel explosions are the norm. Alex’s dream job has turned into a nightmare. What should she do? It's the 1990s. Alex arrives at Acht Records, her improbable blonde hair streaked stress magenta and anger black. Her first duty is to wipe blood off her boss's walls. It goes downhill from there. Rock Gods & Messy Monsters is a humorous story about life inside a record company.

The aliens came to Earth with a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our Earthbound pageants. But we are invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earth's delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition.

On the one day of the year when Bentley returns to the factory for a tune-up, Cyril's Aunt Hypatia enlists him in a complex scheme. All is not as it seems, however- there are plots within plots- which all come to a head within the terrifying twists of The Labyrinth!

Now T.E.D.D., the foul-mouthed trash droid who's done taking humanity's crap, is stuck juggling mobsters, mutant tech, his own glitchy anomaly, and a pack of robowolves. Blades and bullets won't be enough. Because the deadliest part of the job isn't the weapons—it's his dumb co-workers who make Great Grandpa GPT look like a genius.

Fresh off her single-handed defense against alien adversaries in a galactic courtroom, Maxine Justice discovers that saving the Earth is not enough to earn a hero’s welcome back home. Once again broke and now looking for revenge, her return to night court as a public defender takes an immediate detour when she’s tasked with defending a Therapod murder suspect.

Earth’s been toast for five years—ever since the aliens showed up, killed half the population, and penned the rest like cattle. Master Sergeant Sol Winters leads a ragtag resistance team that’s barely clinging to relevance, when an alien ship crashes in his backyard carrying the princess of the empire and her grumpy bodyguard. She claims she’s here to make peace. Sol’s pretty sure she’s lying—but if she’s not, she might be humanity’s only shot at survival.