Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

My stress levels skyrocketed after I discovered the deadly vampire who has taken over downtown is Considine Maledictus, one of the most powerful vampires alive. Now I’m even more reluctant to tangle with him, but he’s started showing up in the middle of my investigations, even if they’re outside his territory. I never know if he’s there to fight or to lend me some unexpected help. I don’t have time to ponder his weird behavior, because a group of local wizards are up to some shady practices.

A new episode in Feist's massively successful Riftwar saga. From the endlessly inventive mind of one of fantasy's all-time greats comes a spellbinding new adventure featuring old favourites Jimmy, Locklear, and Pug. It is nine years on from the aftermath of Sethanon. There has been peace awhile, and it's been needed. But news is feeding through to the people of the Kingdom of the Isles that deadly forces are stirring on the horizon. The bringer of the latest tidings is Gorath, a moredhel (dark elf).

When quiet Orrin and his extroverted best friend, Daniel, were transported to a strange RPG-based world, not much changed between them. Daniel became a hero of legend, while Orrin remained his unobtrusive shadow. Only when they faced a particularly lethal foe did Orrin step out of his comfort zone and display his true worth—with powers he didn't know he had. Of course, Daniel got all the glory, but Orrin doesn't mind. He's just happy they're both still alive.

Osric Mordaunt, member of the Fyren Order of assassins, is in dire need of healing. Naturally - such is the grim comedy of fate - the only healer who can help is Aurienne Fairhrim, preeminent scientist, bastion of moral good, and member of an enemy Order. Aurienne is desperate for funding to heal the sick - so desperate that, when Osric bribes her to help him, she accepts, even if she detests him and everything he stands for.

'Look after the dead,' said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.' Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when, like Teppic, you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country rather earlier than expected, and your treasury is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. He'd had the best education money could buy of course, but unfortunately the syllabus at the Assassin's Guild in Ankh-Morpork did not cover running a kingdom and basic financial acumen....

What do a dead cat, a computer whiz-kid, an electric monk who believes the world is pink, quantum mechanics, a chronologist over 200 years old, Samuel Taylor Coleridge (poet) and pizza have in common? Apparently not much, until Dirk Gently, self-styled private investigator, sets out to prove the fundamental interconnectedness of all things by solving a mysterious murder, assisting a mysterious professor, unravelling a mysterious mystery and eating a lot of pizza - not to mention saving the entire human race from extinction along the way (at no extra charge).

Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

An exclusive collection of twenty early short stories by one of the world's best loved authors, these are rediscovered tales that Pratchett wrote under a pseudonym for newspapers during the 1970s and 1980s. Whilst none of the stories are set in the Discworld, they hint towards the world he would go on to create in his award-winning and globally bestselling series, containing all of his trademark wit, satirical wisdom and fantastic imagination. These are tales which entertain, enlighten and, most importantly, make you laugh.

When my sister thrifts an aged map with iridescent lettering leading to a town called Ever, I roll my eyes. According to a quick internet search, the town doesn't exist. We only manage to find it with the help of a sexy gas station owner who offers to come for me if I call him. Swoon. I quickly learn that Shepherd isn't actually human; nobody in town is. News flash—he's a gargoyle—a dominant, possessive, crème brûlée-loving monster. That should terrify me, but something about him keeps me coming back.

The Opera House in Ankh-Morpork is home to music, theatrics and a harmless masked Ghost who lurks behind the scenes. But now a set of mysterious backstage murders may just stop the show. Agnes Nitt has left her rural home of Lancre in the hopes of launching a successful singing career in the big city. The only problem is, she doesn't quite look the part. And there are two witches who would much rather she return home to join their coven.

Jackal is proud to be a Grey Bastard, member of a sworn brotherhood of half-orcs. Unloved and unwanted in civilized society, the Bastards eke out a hard life in the desolate no-man's-land called the Lots, protecting frail and noble human civilization from invading bands of vicious full-blooded orcs. But as Jackal is soon to learn, his pride may be misplaced. Because a dark secret lies at the heart of the Bastards' existence - one that reveals a horrifying truth behind humanity's tenuous peace with the orcs, and exposes a grave danger on the horizon.

The Thirsty Goat Brewpub is on the move! With the events of the Regional Octamillenial Brewing Contest behind them, the team heads to the dwarven capital to compete against the best the country has to offer. But when they arrive, they find a city in turmoil. Political factions compete for dominance in the city as the Octamillenial approaches, but Pete has more important things to worry about, like sourcing a local supplier for hops! Will Pete manage to nab the mantle of the greatest brewer? Will Penelope finally find her prince? And why are ducks so terrifying?

I never imagined Considine Maledictus—one of the most powerful vampires alive—would go from ruling the streets at night to joining the supernatural task force just to become my partner, but here we are. Considine claims he “fancies” me. He also used to hide his identity and pose as my charming next-door neighbor, so forgive me if I don’t believe him. As bad as that is, my work life is worse.

Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.

Change is in the air for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, con-man and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office. A steaming, clanging new invention - a steam locomotive named Iron Girder, to be precise - is drawing astonished crowds. Suddenly it's a matter of national importance that the trains run on time. Moist does not enjoy hard work. His input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn't involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters.

Insurrection is in the air in the city of Ankh-Morpork. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. Captain Sam Vimes of the city's ramshackle Night Watch is used to this. It's enough to drive a man to drink. Well, to drink more. But this time, something is different - the Have-Nots have found the key to a dormant, lethal weapon that even they don't fully understand and they're about to unleash a campaign of terror on the city. Time for Captain Vimes to sober up.

Josh Becker was once pretty average. That was until he won the Gigaball Lottery and got hundreds of millions of dollars (after tax). No, wait. He was still pretty average at heart even after that. It was when the portals started arriving in his backyard and he had to kill monsters every night when he started to become more of a special guy. Now armed with some kind of video-gamey "System", Josh is minding his own business, making sure to deal with the portals and the threats they send each and every night.

Tam Hashford is tired of working at her local pub, slinging drinks for world-famous mercenaries and listening to the bards sing of adventure and glory in the world beyond her sleepy hometown. When the biggest mercenary band of all rolls into town, led by the infamous Bloody Rose, Tam jumps at the chance to sign on as their bard. It's adventure she wants-and adventure she gets as the crew embark on a quest that will end in one of two ways: glory or death. It's time to take a walk on the wyld side.

Three delinquent monsters with fearsome powers. One girl made of pure sunshine. Can she save this team of misfits? My past? Let's just pretend it never happened. All I want is to spread enough joy to make up for the pain I've caused. So it'd be nice if my unexplainable powers would stop going haywire. When I start blitzing my fellow monsters as well as mortals, the authorities of the supernatural world give me a final chance to avoid banishment.

Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it, Ben Holiday learned that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. The kingdom was in ruin. The Barons refused to recognize a king, and the peasants were without hope. A dragon was laying waste the countryside, while an evil witch plotted to destroy everything.