Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humorous

According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner. So, the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.

In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds....

In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.

Hi there! I'm Magical Girl Crystal Genocide, one of the twelve magical girls, and sworn protectors of Earth! We were like a superhero squad, but with more sparkles! We fought day and night to keep the baddies at bay and the Earth safe. But, one day, our best wasn't good enough. So, we huddled up for a superhero brainstorm and decided to pool our powers for this mega, super-duper save-the-day plan. We kinda goofed. Big time. Instead of saving the day, we accidentally wiped out a quarter of the Milky Way.

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

An exclusive collection of twenty early short stories by one of the world's best loved authors, these are rediscovered tales that Pratchett wrote under a pseudonym for newspapers during the 1970s and 1980s. Whilst none of the stories are set in the Discworld, they hint towards the world he would go on to create in his award-winning and globally bestselling series, containing all of his trademark wit, satirical wisdom and fantastic imagination. These are tales which entertain, enlighten and, most importantly, make you laugh.

Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

A handsome stranger appears on Susan's doorstep, bringing some devastating news. War is coming. It is inevitable. But first, Susan is going to have to fight some battles far closer to home. Bonds will be tested, some will be broken. Will the Chosen One finally accept her magic, and reach her full potential in time to vanquish the Devourer for good?

Lady Katarina Ashowan is used to getting into trouble, but her latest muddle takes the cake. A moment's weakness in her attraction to Eric Reyes, crown prince of Daxaria, has landed her in an unexpected marriage with the man . . . just as her father, Lord Finlay Ashowan, arrives in Troivack to check on his headstrong daughter. As if figuring out how to acclimate her father to her scandalous elopement isn't bad enough, there are rumors of dangerous magical plots afoot at court—with Kat seemingly at the center of them all.

Vampires have come to Lancre, but they're not what you'd expect. Sure, they drink blood and view humans as dinner, but they're modern and sophisticated. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. And they're not a bit afraid of garlic. The Magpyr family are out of the casket and want a bite of the future. But they haven't met the neighbours yet. Between them and Lancre stand a coven of four - Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat and young Agnes - and they don't take kindly to murderous intruders....

Death has been fired by the Auditors of Reality for the heinous crime of developing…a personality. Sent to live like everyone else, Death takes a new name and begins working as a farmhand. He's got the scythe already, after all. And for humanity, Death is just…gone. Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. If Death doesn't come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can't have the undead wandering about like lost souls—there's no telling what might happen.

Tolkien's acclaimed modern classic 'fairie' tale, read by Derek Jacobi. Smith of Wootton Major journeys to the Land of Faery thanks to the magical ingredients of the Great Cake of the Feast of Good Children.

I never imagined Considine Maledictus—one of the most powerful vampires alive—would go from ruling the streets at night to joining the supernatural task force just to become my partner, but here we are. Considine claims he “fancies” me. He also used to hide his identity and pose as my charming next-door neighbor, so forgive me if I don’t believe him. As bad as that is, my work life is worse.

This is a special spider field report coming to you straight from the human-demon border where a massive battle has erupted! The Demon Lord is finally launching an all-out assault on the fortresses guarding the human realm’s frontier and has committed hundreds of thousands of soldiers for the attack.

Evie Sage has never been happier to be the assistant to The Villain. Who would have thought that working for an outrageously handsome, evil overlord would be so rewarding? Still, the business of being bad is demanding, the forces of good are annoyingly persistent, and said forbidding boss is somewhat . . . out-of-evil-office. But Rennedawn is in trouble, and all signs—Kingsley's included—point to catastrophe. Something peculiar is happening with the kingdom's magic, and it's made The Villain's manor vulnerable to their enemies . . . including their nemesis, the king.

Artemus Steele's life was weird enough before he started juggling flaming swords and battling creatures from the pit. Now he's part of a ragtag team trying to stop Armageddon, armed with nothing but newfound powers they can't control, a book of prophecies they can't read, and a hellhound who keeps eating the furniture. As Chicago becomes the flashpoint for celestial warfare, Artemus and his misfit crew must master their abilities, decipher ancient riddles, and save the world—all while dodging fireballs, demon claws, and the occasional hellhound temper tantrum.

Stella is enjoying life as an almost student, or at least she is until a man falls from the sky right in front of her, leaving a big old hole in the pavement for Manchester Council to fill. The obvious question of how he ended up in the sky in the first place has no obvious answers, which is where The Stranger Times come in. This isn't just the hunt for another story though. Dark powers think Stella might have been involved and the only way she and the team can prove her innocence is to find out what the hell is really going on.

It was supposed to be another boring day at the insurance office for Rico Kline, but powerful forces had other plans for him. Finding himself repeatedly summoned to other worlds as a disposable minion, Rico must face deadly foes, disarm insidious traps, become a test subject, and run the occasional errand for his various summoners. At least when each summoning is over, he’s rewarded and sent back home. But being back home has its own set of problems, and he'll need to grow stronger to face it all.

They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a certain inclination in that direction. It's not something you can just pick up on the job. A few days ago Sam Vimes was a copper - an important copper, true - chief of police - but still, at his core, a policeman. But today he is an ambassador - to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Today, Sam Vimes is also a man on the run. At some point during his ambassadorship, things went very wrong. It's snowing. It's freezing.