Showing titles in Humour

Mooses with Bazookas: And Other Stories Children Should Never Read is a fun collection of stories. It’s exactly like The Count of Monte Cristo apart from the many differences. Our lawyers have instructed us to warn you that listening to it may directly cause you to come down with every single disease you are worried about contracting. On the plus side, our nation’s beloved and heroic critics have had their say.

You've finally made it to grade six and you're in with the wild gang. It's camp time, time to escape from the parents... But, just your luck, you're stuck with the worst teacher in the whole school! Find out what happens on an unforgettable camp that changed a whole school.

Ridley Larsen is everything you want in a friend. She's tough as nails, she's fiercely loyal and she's smart as a whip. But she can be a harsh critic, which has put her position with the Magic Misfits on the rocks, even as the threat of the group's longtime enemy Kalagan looms large. Ever since his recent appearance in Mineral Wells, the kids know that a showdown with the vicious magician is imminent. They must first deal with a series of odd instances and random attacks, though, all of which they use to bring themselves closer to discovering where Kalagan may be hiding.

Austen comes to England knowing that as an American he'll stick out at his new school. But when an errant owl lands him at Hogwarts, he's in for more than he expected.

Mr Twit is a foul and smelly man with bits of cornflake and sardine in his beard. Mrs Twit is a horrible old hag with a glass eye. Together they make the nastiest couple you could ever hope not to meet. Down in their garden, the ghastly, evil Twits keep Muggle-Wump the monkey and his family locked in a cage. But not for much longer! Because the monkeys are planning to trick the terrible Twits and make their escape, once and for all....

The life of a postman is not easy - especially when the Birthday Card Bandits are out to get you.

Bradley Chalkers IS the oldest kid in the fifth grade. He tells enormous lies. He picks fights with girls. No one likes him - except Carla, the new school counselor. She thinks Bradley is sensitive and generous, and knows that Bradley could change, if only he weren’t afraid to try. But when you feel like the most-hated kid in the whole school, believing in yourself can be the hardest thing in the world....

Lucy and her friends' time at Minecrafters Academy is coming to an end, and the entire school is preparing for graduation. But when an explosion shakes the campus and Lucy's old friend Steve appears with bad news from his village, all plans to celebrate come to a halt. The school is no longer under attack - it's being destroyed. And it's time for the students to use their training outside the safety of the Academy. Lucy, Jane, and Phoebe must use the skills they've honed in school to battle the evil force.

My little brother Jonah and I have a magic mirror in our basement. This time, the mirror sucks us up and drops us into the story of Pinocchio. Our task? To help Gepetto get his wooden puppet son, Pinocchio, to go to school. But even though his nose grows when he lies, Pinocchio is tricky—and he ends up sneaking back into OUR world with us!

Dave Pigeon and his trusty sidekick, Skipper, are minding their own business in the garden shed when they see Mean Cat behaving very strangely... And why is she multiplying? The arrival of some very cute kittens is disastrous news! More cats? Ugh. But then the kittens come under threat... Are Dave and Skipper coldhearted enough to leave them defenseless? Especially when one looks a teeny, tiny little bit like Dave?

Mim Cohen roams the world in a travelling bookshop, with her dad and brother and a horse called Flossy. Flossy leads them where she will, to the place where they're needed most...the place where the perfect book will find its way home. Now Mim has arrived in Puddling Muddlebury in the Cotswolds, England, just in time for the annual dog show. The judge, Lord Melville-Timms, is in a pickle. He has judged cakes and flowers and vegetables, but never a dog show. Furthermore, his beloved bulldog, Bubbles, is the most disobedient dog in the county.

Theo Stein-Meyer loves being part of the Magic Misfits. Armed with his trusty violin bow, he completes the team with his levitation skills, unflappable calm and proper manners. But when a girl named Emily begins to spend time with the group, Theo is surprisingly drawn to her. She seems to understand the pull he feels between music and magic, between family and friends. Then a famous ventriloquist arrives in town, and the Misfits are sure he (and his creepy dummy) are up to no good.

Gameknight999, a real-life Minecraft user trapped inside the game he loves to play, and his friend Crafter have transported to a new server. Malacoda is the King of the Nether, a terrible ghast that wants to destroy all of Minecraft with his massive army of blazes, magma cubes, zombie pigmen, and wither skeletons. Knowing the lives of all those within Minecraft - as well as those in the physical world - are depending on them, Gameknight and Crafter will need to search the land to recruit an NPC army.

The story is narrated by two very different teenagers, who each inhabit two extraordinarily different worlds. Arianrhod Hyde's world (or Roddy, as she prefers to be called) is very much the world of magic, pageantry and ritual. Not unlike Britain in King Arthur's Day, Roddy is daughter of two Court Wizards and therefore part of the King's Progress, travelling round the Islands of Blest and ready to take part in whatever ritual or ceremony is required, as it occurs.

If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese . . . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat's business.

When their teacher, Mrs. Jewls, leaves to have her baby, the kids go through a series of substitutes, each one a little stranger than the last.

When we last saw George and Harold, they were about to take their pet pterodactyl, Crackers, back to the Cretaceous period. But things didn't work out quite as they had hoped. They've entered an absurd alternate reality where teachers are nice, kids are allowed to read banned books, and the cafeteria food doesn't smell like dirty diapers. Even worse, they've discovered alternate versions of themselves - Evil George and Evil Harold - who plan to unleash some preposterous plans on Piqua, Ohio.

A brilliantly funny, gripping novel from a born storyteller, The Parent Agency is an epic wish-fulfilment adventure for every child - and for the child in everyone. Barry said, a third time, "I wish I had better parents!" And then suddenly the entire room started to shake. Barry Bennett hates being called Barry. In fact it's number 2 on the list of things he blames his parents for, along with 1) 'being boring' and 3) 'always being tired'. But there is a world, not far from this one, where parents don't have children.

WHOOSH! Inside the Great Glass Elevator, Willy Wonka, Charlie Bucket and his family are cruising a thousand feet above the chocolate factory. They can see the whole world below them, but they're not alone. The American Space Hotel has also just launched. Lurking inside are the Vermicious Knids - the most brutal beasts in the universe! Can Charlie and Willy Wonka stop them from destroying everything?

Join everyone’s favourite marmalade-loving bear as he tries to tackle household chores, takes part in the Brown family sports day, sees snow for the first time, learns about Love Day, dresses up for Halloween and attempts to save Christmas!