Showing results by publisher "Hachette Audio" in Comedy & Humour
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Everybody Is Awful
- Except You!
- By: Jim Norton - Foreword, Jim Florentine
- Narrated by: Jim Norton - Foreword, Jim Florentine
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Twitter Trolls. Facebook Freaks. Instagram Exhibitionists. These are just a few of the creatures our technology-obsessed culture has spawned in its quest to simplify our lives. The madness is so universal now that everyone has dealt with it. You login to Facebook, read a stupid post, and immediately want to tell your "friend" to go have relations with himself. Thankfully, popular comedian and television host Jim Florentine has a solution for those of us on the verge of bashing our iPhones to bits.
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Everybody Is Awful
- Except You!
- Narrated by: Jim Norton - Foreword, Jim Florentine
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Release date: 20-02-2018
- Language: English
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Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties
- By: Gabi Conti
- Narrated by: Gabi Conti
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Through highly relatable anecdotes from a decade of dating, Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties dives into the joys, frustrations, and hilarity of swiping right on relationships.
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Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties
- Narrated by: Gabi Conti
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 16-07-2020
- Language: English
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Swine Not?
- A Novel
- By: Jimmy Buffett
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser, Jimmy Buffett
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When Southern belle Ellie McBride moves her twins from Vertigo, Tennessee to New York City, they wouldn't dream of leaving behind the family pig, Rumpy. But the posh hotel where Ellie has found work (and living space) has "No Pets" writ large on its portal.
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Swine Not?
- A Novel
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser, Jimmy Buffett
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Release date: 10-06-2008
- Language: English
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
- A Definitive Encyclopaedia of Existing Information
- By: The Onion
- Narrated by: Avery Sanford, June Bunt
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the publishing industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, figures, statistics, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
- A Definitive Encyclopaedia of Existing Information
- Narrated by: Avery Sanford, June Bunt
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Release date: 23-10-2012
- Language: English
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Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People
- By: Amy Sedaris
- Narrated by: Amy Sedaris
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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America's most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, Simple Times, she sets the record straight. Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.
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Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People
- Narrated by: Amy Sedaris
- Length: 2 hrs and 22 mins
- Release date: 02-11-2010
- Language: English
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RISK!
- True Stories People Never Thought They'd Dare to Share
- By: Kevin Allison - editor
- Narrated by: Kevin Allison, Sarah Mollo-Christensen, Robin Miles
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Collecting the most celebrated stories from the hit podcast RISK!, along with all-new true tales about explosive secrets and off-the-wall adventures, this book paints a spellbinding portrait of the transformational moments we experience in life but rarely talk about. No topics are off-limits in RISK!, no memories too revealing to share. From accidentally harboring a teen fugitive to being poisoned while tripping on LSD in the Mayan ruins, these stories transport readers into uncharted territory and show how your life can change when you take an extraordinary leap.
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RISK!
- True Stories People Never Thought They'd Dare to Share
- Narrated by: Kevin Allison, Sarah Mollo-Christensen, Robin Miles
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Release date: 17-07-2018
- Language: English
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Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops
- Choosing Extravagant Joy in the Midst of Everyday Mess-Ups
- By: Jane Jenkins Herlong
- Narrated by: Jane Jenkins Herlong
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Has your life ever flipped? The challenge is to not become a flop! Strap on your sandals and let Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops deliver joy and laughter in the midst of everyday mess-ups. Professional Southern humorist and award-winning author Jane Jenkins Herlong uses humor, wisdom, and life stories from iconic biblical women to guide you through the inevitable blunders of life.
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Rhinestones on My Flip-Flops
- Choosing Extravagant Joy in the Midst of Everyday Mess-Ups
- Narrated by: Jane Jenkins Herlong
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Release date: 05-10-2017
- Language: English
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A Taste of Sugar
- A Sugar, Georgia Novel
- By: Marina Adair
- Narrated by: Chelsea Hatfield
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Charlotte Holden, Sugar's favorite pediatrician, knows better than anyone that love only leads to heartbreak. Instead she's focused on creating the Grow Clinic, an outpatient center for children. All she has to do now is host the best Founder's Day parade in the history of Sugar, Georgia, to win over a big-city donor. Easy as peach pie. Then sexy Jace McGraw blows back into town and utters those three words every woman dreads: We're still married.
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A Taste of Sugar
- A Sugar, Georgia Novel
- Narrated by: Chelsea Hatfield
- Series: Sugar, Georgia, Book 3
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 25-08-2015
- Language: English
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Legally Correct Fairy Tales
- Bedtime Classics Translated into the Legalese
- By: David Fisher
- Narrated by: Jay Gregory, Jack Garrett, Patrick Frederic
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Why did the Three Little-Pigs call 911? Will the Three Bears sue Goldilocks for trespassing? Who cracked the Humpty Dumpty case? Find out the answers to these fascinating legal inquiries and many others in these hilarious reenactments of bedtime classics transferred into the courtroom and translated into legalese. Eleven different voices, including the author's, bring life to such characters as Little-Pigg, Diana Freewoman, the Jolly Green Giant, and of course various attorneys. The perfect tales for our litigious age.
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Legally Correct Fairy Tales
- Bedtime Classics Translated into the Legalese
- Narrated by: Jay Gregory, Jack Garrett, Patrick Frederic
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Release date: 16-12-1999
- Language: English
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Someday a Bird Will Poop on You
- A Life Lesson
- By: Sue Salvi, Megan Kellie - illustrator
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Someday a bird will poop on all of us. But that's okay. In a world of bad news, fake news, delays, disappointments, trash talk, and tweets, things are bound to get a little poopy. What matters is not how big the mess is - but how well you react to it. Someday a Bird Will Poop on You is a modern parable about life hitting us with something unexpected - and the perfect gift for anyone leaving home without an umbrella.
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Someday a Bird Will Poop on You
- A Life Lesson
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 5 mins
- Release date: 30-10-2018
- Language: English
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Okay Fine Whatever
- The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things
- By: Courtenay Hameister
- Narrated by: Courtenay Hameister
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home. Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her - things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."
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Okay Fine Whatever
- The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things
- Narrated by: Courtenay Hameister
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Release date: 31-07-2018
- Language: English
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Switch and Bait
- By: Ricki Schultz
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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All through college, Blanche Carter was known as the love doctor in her sorority. Now she's parlayed her talent into a unique consulting business: she runs the Online dating profiles of Washington D.C.'s most eligible women. Armed with a battalion of rules, Blanche expertly helps her clients optimize their profiles and ace that first date. But although she'll happily message handsome strangers (and fend off dick pics) for other ladies, Blanche's most important rule is the one she has for herself: no relationships. She's seen too much heartbreak to believe in real love anymore.
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Switch and Bait
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Release date: 12-06-2018
- Language: English
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Mr. Right-Swipe
- By: Ricki Schultz
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Rae Wallace would rather drown in a vat of pinot greezh and be eaten by her own beagle than make another trip down the aisle - even if it is her best friend's wedding. She's too busy molding the minds of first graders and polishing that ol' novel in the drawer to waste time on any man. But when her best friends stage an intervention, Rae is forced to give in. After all, they've hatched a plan to help her find love the 21st century way: online.
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Mr. Right-Swipe
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Release date: 06-06-2017
- Language: English
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Monsters of the Ivy League
- By: Steve Radlauer, Ellis Weiner
- Narrated by: David L. Nelson
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League - universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education - have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate?
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Monsters of the Ivy League
- Narrated by: David L. Nelson
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Release date: 11-04-2017
- Language: English
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I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live in It
- Stories from an Online Life
- By: Jess Kimball Leslie
- Narrated by: Jess Kimball Leslie
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live in It is a hilarious memoir of growing up in the early days of the internet and celebrating technology's role in our lives. Coming of age in suburban Connecticut in the late '80s and early '90s, Jess Kimball Leslie looked to the nascent internet to find the tribes she couldn't find IRL: fellow Bette Midler fans; women who seemed impossibly sure of their sexuality; interns trudging through similarly soul-crushing media jobs.
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I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live in It
- Stories from an Online Life
- Narrated by: Jess Kimball Leslie
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Release date: 25-04-2017
- Language: English
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Let Me Tell You About Jasper...
- How My Best Friend Became America's Dog
- By: Dana Perino
- Narrated by: Dana Perino
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Dana Perino is a popular and beloved host on Fox's The Five, with over two million followers on social media. While listeners admire Dana for her charm, warmth, and insight, she also knows who the real star in her family is: her vizsla, Jasper - aka America's Dog. In this new audiobook, Dana tells stories about life and politics and how dogs can transcend rancor and partisanship. She also talks about how dogs bring families together - like Dana's own, from her career in Washington through her life as a TV star.
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Let Me Tell You About Jasper...
- How My Best Friend Became America's Dog
- Narrated by: Dana Perino
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Release date: 25-10-2016
- Language: English
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President Trump
- Parody
- By: Tom Connor, Jim Downey
- Narrated by: John Glouchevitch, Christine Lakin, Jeff Bergman
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Well, now you've gone and done it, America. You've elected Donald K. Trump president, and the US will never again be the same! The problem for all of us is that he's got plans - lots of them. The list reads like a bad acid trip: nominating Bernie Madoff for secretary of the Treasury; "Trumpifying" the Constitution; making personal real estate deals with Vladimir Putin; staging a hostile takeover of one of America's great news magazines - to name just a few.
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President Trump
- Parody
- Narrated by: John Glouchevitch, Christine Lakin, Jeff Bergman
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Release date: 03-05-2016
- Language: English
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Gone with the Mind
- By: Mark Leyner
- Narrated by: Mark Leyner, Muriel Leyner, Peter Ganim, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this utterly unconventional autobiographical novel, Mark Leyner gives a reading in the food court of a mall. Besides Mark's mother, who's driven him to the mall and introduces him before he begins, and a few employees of fast food chain Panda Express who ask a handful of questions, the reading is completely without audience. The action of Gone with the Mind takes place exclusively at the food court, but the territory covered in this audio has no bounds.
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Gone with the Mind
- Narrated by: Mark Leyner, Muriel Leyner, Peter Ganim, Tommy Harron
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Release date: 08-03-2016
- Language: English
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Two Across
- By: Jeffrey Bartsch
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Highly awkward teenager Stanley Owens meets his match in beautiful, brainy Vera Baxter when they tie for first place in the annual national spelling bee - and the two form a bond that will change both of their lives. Though their mothers have big plans for them - Stanley will become a senator, Vera a mathematics professor - neither wants to follow these predetermined paths. So Stanley hatches a scheme to marry Vera in a sham wedding for the cash gifts, hoping they will enable him to pursue his one true love: crossword puzzle construction.
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Two Across
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 9 hrs
- Release date: 04-08-2015
- Language: English
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Know Your Beholder
- A Novel
- By: Adam Rapp
- Narrated by: Adam Rapp
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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As winter deepens in snowbound Pollard, Illinois, 30-something Francis Falbo is holed up in his attic apartment, recovering from a series of traumas: his mother's death, his beloved wife's desertion, and his once-ascendant rock band's irreconcilable break-up. Francis hasn't shaved in months, hasn't so much as changed out of his bathrobe - "the uniform of a Life in Default" - for nine days.
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Know Your Beholder
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Adam Rapp
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Release date: 03-03-2015
- Language: English
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