Showing results by publisher "Audible Studios" in Comedy & Humour

Caroline Townsend is a nightmare for her children. The former actress and current alcoholic hits her nadir on Christmas Eve. Her five young children hope for a Christmas celebration. Instead, they get a fight with their mother, who's absolutely plastered and fresh off yet another failed relationship. After lashing out at her children, Caroline passes out under the bent and mangled Christmas tree. For the Townsend children, this proves to be a rare opportunity - a chance to set things right with their mother. Together, they concoct an elaborate ruse designed to teach her a lesson, once and for all.

“I didn’t do it!” is something cops hear all the time. But when the plea comes from a close friend who’s fallen on hard times, it’s tougher to ignore, especially for young Officer Danny Boyle. It’s the start of another action-packed summer for the wisecracking Boyle and straight-arrow cop (now chief of detectives) John Ceepak down the Jersey Shore as they do their best to help Danny’s friend, a young nurse who claims she has been falsely accused of aggravated assault by a prestigious Sea Haven doctor.

What if a reality TV show like Jersey Shore set up production in the fictional seaside resort Sea Haven? What if hitting the gym, tanning, and doing a little laundry aren't the only things the contestants get into? By-the-book officer John Ceepak and his wisecracking young partner, Danny Boyle, have to babysit the buff and boozy kids partying it up in a Jersey shore rental house for TV’s summertime hit Fun House while simultaneously trying to stop the rowdy kids from breaking the law up and down the beach. But even Ceepak and Danny can’t stop one young cast member from being murdered—and others from being threatened with the same fate.

Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though.

Until a few weeks ago, Leanne was a 30-something who lived with her mother. And yes, she still slept under her Barbie bedspread. Until recently, best friend Maddy was married to a man whose golf club got more action than she did. But not anymore. Leanne convinced Maddy enough was enough. They packed their bags and their miniature poodle and bid goodbye to their dreary lives for the summer. Drinking wine under the stars and splashing around in the sparkling turquoise waters of Italy and the Dalmatian Islands should be every girl’s dream. Except...it’s not all plain sailing.

The New York Times Book Review called Neal Stephenson's most recent novel "electrifying" and "hilarious". But if you want to know Stephenson was doing 20 years before he wrote the epic Cryptonomicon, it's back-to-school time. Back to The Big U, that is, a hilarious send-up of American college life starring 30-year-old junior Casimir Radon.

Don't worry, be... imperfect!. (Noch) nicht perfekt, aber verdammt nah dran: Marie ist die Königin der Selbstoptimierung. Als Frau, im Job und als Mutter gibt sie alles - was sie natürlich auch von ihrer Familie erwartet. Die ist allerdings zunehmend genervt von Maries Perfektionismus. Ihre Kinder wollen nicht dauernd funktionieren, und ihr Mann flirtet sogar mit der unerträglich tiefenentspannten Babette. Als Marie dann auch noch von einem Hexenschuss ausgebremst wird, kommt sie ins Grübeln.

Cultivation is all fun and games. Until someone kills Merlin. Apparently, the only logical response to this fairly important change to Arthurian lore is for me to be reincarnated into Dark Age Cornwall. But don't worry, I have an absolute understanding of feudal power dynamics, Qi cycling, and anti-Saxon spell flinging. Oh, I also lie a lot. There's just the smallest chance that our timeline is doomed.

After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.

At 23 years old and still celibate against his will, Wes has run the numbers: It is officially more likely an asteroid will kill him before he ever ends up naked in someone else's bed. What's his problem, you ask? He couldn't tell you. Wes likes bars, booze, and fun; he has a job, an apartment, and no major deformities.... What more does a 20-something need to be a bit of a slut now and then!? In his quest to lose his virginity and join the legions of normal, sex-having adults, Wes gets everything but lucky.

All secret agents need to look out for William Nye, now known as Agent X. His recruitment was simple and his legend is brilliant but un-earned. Somehow, he thinks he's the best there is and we all know how pride goeth before a fall. The master of SF hilarity and biting social satire creates a spy world that has gathered praise from the greats of the genre.

Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

Kay Powell wants to find that break-out client who will become a star. And she thinks she's found him: His name is Bruno, and he has to be walked three times a day. Kay is the Agent to the Paws, representing showbiz clients who aren't exactly people. In fact: they're dogs. Bruno's humans, Trent and Louise, are pains in the you-know-what, and Les McMaster, the famous director mounting a revival of Annie, might not hire Bruno just because he can't stand them.

Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some did it only in college or got out by sheer determination, good luck...or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole servers in restaurants packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back.

The Battle of Brandsveid brought together every king and nobleman in the land in an epic struggle for the future of the Land of Dis, as the armies of the Six Kingdoms united against the monstrous army of Lord Brand. It was the event Vergil, a knight in the service of the Order of Avaress, had waited for his entire life. Unfortunately, he slept through it.

Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semilegendary land of Dis.

From when I learned I don't have a sex-phone operator voice to when I fainted in the middle of a shoot. From when I bombed a movie audition to when I was upstaged by the modeling equivalent of a soccer mom. It's all here. So sit back, relax, and listen to a few stories that will remind you that modeling is about as glamorous as babysitting a bunch of toddlers. Toddlers on a sugar rush. By the way, your keys are underneath your jacket in the kitchen.

The story of Billy, whose Grandmother left him the "voodoo handbag" in her will, after he had sold her soul to science. The tales it told Billy would change his life for ever - and the lives of other people too.

The Jehovahs have always been a tight-knit family and one of the biggest names in universal property development. The driving force behind them is the old boy, God, although in recent millennia he has ceased to play an active role and has become something of a recluse. Now tragedy has struck the House of Jehovah.